Unsent messages to LAUREN

I chose red because it's your favorite color and oddly enough i notice that i have started to wear more red and quite frankly its slowly becoming my favorite color. You have become the most important person in my life and i know ive tolf you this but i dont think you actually understand how much you mean to me. i love you.

i hate the fact you only wanted me for my body but i wanted your attention. you called me selfish wen i was sad:/.

No one ever tells you your first love will haunt you.Even when I think I’m over it, I’m not. I wish I had come over years ago when you said you missed me. I still loved you even when you didn’t so much that it hurt me and It made me mad. I wish my pride wasn’t so big when I moved so I could tell u how I felt. Starting to wonder if our paths will ever cross again. I hope they do.

you are one of my most amazing friends but you really need to stick up for yourself because i can see how much it hurts you when you know who walks all over you.

someone gave me a tarot reading and said you'd come back. I wish you had the strength, I hope the love.

i just wanna text you like we used to a year ago, i really miss you and i understand you don’t miss or care about me but i’ll always love you no matter what.

Thanks to you I finally know my worth. You hurt me, broke me, and embarrassed me, yet I came out stronger

your eye contact made me feel like i was sleeping. there is a reason i am exhausted all the time now. i haven't had dreams in awhile but i still see the color of your eyes everytime i close mine.

I think about you all the time. I miss you. Just come back! come back into my arms where you are safe and loved...

I think about you all the time. I miss you. Just come back! come back into my arms where you are safe and loved...

You said when you left that you would never come back but here you are, a permanent resident in my mind

You said when you left that you would never come back but here you are, a permanent resident in my mind

You said when you left that you would never come back but here you are, a permanent resident in my mind

You were my best friend and I loved you as best I could. But you changed into someone I didn’t recognize.

i feel like ur the only person who truly understands me, were like the same person, im glad were best friends

my soulmate. best friend. sister. it’s been almost 8 months without you. please never let yourself get to that point again. rehab is what you needed but i miss you so incredibly bad. i want you back home and i hope you’re doing better. i’m so proud of you

Lauren, I trusted you. I loved you. Even knowing all that, you still cut off communication. You don't know how many times I've cried over the fact that we stopped talking, but then got excited because I saw that you snapped me again. Everytime your name pops up on my screen, I instantly feel happy. I can't say that I'm over you...or maybe I will never be, but I am on my way to be better. I miss you. Very much.

Being friends with you had really changed my life. You make me feel so comfortable and genuinely happy, thank you so much for being my best friend

You laughed when I seemed shocked. Amused that I didn’t strike you as such. I guess you just never seemed like the type of girl to read poetry. More like the girl who would laugh at lovers or poke fun of the girl at the back of the room.

Even though we both agreed to stop being friends, i can’t help but hope that you’ll text me again :/. I really miss you.

i don't know when i realized i loved you. but i can't stop thinking about it. i wish you could love me.

i miss our friendship. we hung out everyday and i spent the night every weekend. what happened. why can’t we go back to that.

I know our situations are different and we’ve both moved forward with our lives since HS. Truth is, I still think about you all the time.. you’ve found someone and that’s cool, as long as you’re happy, I’m happy for you, even though I feel in my heart you should be with me. I don’t even care I would die satisfied, even if I was able to have one night with you.. I know I’d want more, but I’d take any amount of you.

you werent my first love but you are my best friend. u chose someone else other than me and thats ok. ik i can be annoying but you didnt have to abandon me, we went from talking everyday to me feeling like im not wanted and only talking once a day. im sorry

i only want you. i wish we could start over... but i think we messed it up and i don’t know if we’ll ever get the chance to bc it seems impossible. but there’s just something that’s different about you. it hurts but i’m learning to live w that

I can’t get you out of my head lately.. it’s strange. I think about your voice, your smile, and f****** you. You deserved better than what I gave you.. I didn’t deserve the time you spent waiting for me to get it together and I didn’t deserve all those chances. I still believe after all this time that you are my soulmate that I let slip away.. I was too insecure and I really wish I had some manly advice when I was younger.. I’m especially sorry that I never had the chance to talk about it and tell you my feelings. Not that you’d care, but it would have been nice to get it off my chest.

would you be happy with how we left things if something happened to me? if not, let’s fix it. life is too short to act like this.

I wish you would tell me how you feel, that would change the game. I’m willing to forgive & I don’t want anyone else.

I still have vivid dreams about us being together and it still hurts. If I’m being totally honest, I’d wait for 10 more years to have you. I’d give up literally everything to be with you. It’s too late though..

J

btw she’s told me everything you’ve ever said that involved me or other girls :) and i didn’t tell her shit until i found out you did. she’s not your friend, she constantly talks to me about how your life is basically falling apart (i’ve heard mad shit from other people) and you need some help if that shit is true & she texted me about your recent problem AND I HELPED HER SNAP YOU BACK bc she was pissed :)

youre a fucking witch. he was my everything and now i dont know what to do anymore. im so lost. its been so long and i feel like i dont even know him anymore. hes a completely different person now thanks for you. youre a shit influence and everything, every memory, every inside joke, every interest we shared, every stranger things episode we watched together, all the projects weve worked on together, all the music that we shared with eachother. all gone. thanks for screwing absolutley everything up and leaving me with nothing. i miss him.

Without you, I would have lost trust in people. You make me feel like I am a real person and can have feelings and show love. For you I am eternally grateful.

Without you, I would have lost trust in people. You make me feel like I am a real person and can have feelings and show love. For you I am eternally grateful.

my first love. it ended before it even began and despite all the hurt, i still blame myself for the things YOU did to wrong us.

i wish you'd been there... even just to ask if i was okay. when they all turned against me, i thought i wouldn't have the courage to make it to the end of the year. i had no one, & i thought at least you'd have my back but you didn't and thats what hurts - still hurts. don't talk to me ever again, not after what you and your friends have done to me.

i don’t think you realized how much of a sensitive person i am. i can’t take an on and off situation and get treated like shit bc you’re insecure. i would have gave you the best, you missed out :)