How could you not fall in love with me when i tried so hard...i still cry because you cheated and i ll never feel good enough

you still make me nervous when we talk. it has been 5 months since we met and you still have that effect on me

i wish you knew how loved you really are. you deserve the world and the things id do to give it to you. im sorry youve been fucked over so much. when you said you wanted to go i couldnt stop crying for hours and hours, you mean so much to me, i couldnt get back from it as much and im sorry for not acting the same. i love you so much, its a bit selfish but oh well. i hope you find someone that brightens your day like no other, one who you talk to the stars about, one who you can hold. i wish we could meet. take care of yourself okay

its been 11 months since u left. and u have ur reasons as to why you left and that's ur decision but I just wanted u to know how happy u made me. how every single day I had u in my life I never once thought of killing myself. u brought me a type of happiness I haven't felt in years. I miss u a lot more than I thought I would. but now I gotta move on without u in my life. I'm saying everything I couldn't say to u, I wish u would text me, but until our paths cross again I wish u nothing but happiness, at the end of the day I just wanted u to be happy with or without me.

ik u probably think i deleted the playlist i made for u, but i actually privated it. i listen to it every once and awhile just to feel what i once felt.

thank you for making me smile the hardest. u were the reason why i would always randomly smile in class

you were never there for me. you were always busy and never spent time with me. i wish you were more open and expressed how you feel more often. i wish you would say that you were proud of me. the only time you would ever talk to me is to criticize me.

you were literally my very first love. that was so painful and such a hard time for me because it was just a one sided thing.. but now i’m all good... i hope you’re doing good as well... live your life as much as u can...
xoxo

i miss you so much,im not sure what i did wrong and why you had to do that to me but i hope you still thinking about me sometimes because you are all that i think about :(

its only been a month and im already over you, you made it so obvious why i was losing feelings for you in the relationship, and it all hit me again. all i wanted was at least a new years message, but of course, you couldnt provide, it was always me supporting you, and you never returning the favor, im glad you made it easy to get over you, im not going to be there for you anymore and im so fucking glad you're not in my life anymore.

i love you a lot and as much as i don’t say it, i really do love you. you’re so cool dude and however this goes, i’m happy it was with you.

I think about you every night. You really meant the world to me, I wish you still felt the same about me.

I love you I’ll always love you even if we’re apart and don’t speak Bc even your silence says a million words

i wish i could just call you one last time. i just wish i could call you and say goodbye. i miss you. i love you.

You make me smile by just saying something. You taught me how to actually laugh and stop worrying about life. You actually cared about me and made sure I was ok, but I know that I’m not meant for you. Maya is really pretty,smart and an educated person. You should shoot your shot with her. I know your probably wondering how I know who maya is but don’t worry about it. Just know that you will always have a special place in my heart for always being there for me,even when I hadn’t realised that I needed someone

You stress me out and yet i still want you. Treat me better because all I am is nice to u and all my friends see is u caring.

bro i fucking love you and idk if it’s platonic or romantic but i be falling in this love. ik you’ll never like me back and it’s ok, it’s fine but i just wanna thank you for helping me so much ily

i loved you unconditionally with no limits, i gave everything and more to you and you still cheated. wat could she give that i couldnt?

As much as we joke and kid, I really do care about you. You have grown to be such an important person in my life in such a short amount of time. I think I really do have feelings for you. If you see this and you get the feeling it's for you, it just might be.

the anxiety i get around you still hasn’t stopped and i’m scared it’ll never stop bcus idk how much longer i can take because even if my heart feels at home with you the rest doesn’t

Why didnt you tell me you stopped liking me? You couldve told me instead of what you did. You deserved the misery of the long arguments but I didnt.

i literally love you so much and i know you probably dont feel the same but every night when we call no matter what happened that day, everything gets better the moment we talk. and despite the fact i constantly feel like youre only staying because you pity me, my dumbass caught feelings and even if you just see me as a friend i want you to know that you'll always be my favourite person in the world

i wish it could have been something, more than a fantasy or mistake. i still hold out hope for some god forsaken reason, that one day, somehow, something more will happen. i feel like i blew it, but was there really anything to blow? i like talking to you but its never for as long as id want. ur pretty cool

hi, we were friends in kindergarten and that was such a long time ago considering we are in college now but i just wanted to say thank you for the pokemon drawing and stationary things. u made me happy

Fuck you. Fuck you for all the fucking damage you caused me. if i could take it all back in a second I would. i fucking hate you so much. You’re not the only reason i want to fucking kill myself but you’re definitely a pretty large part of it. You took advantage of me and i fucking hate you for it.

Prince Zuko... Just kidding, hi Kai :) it is hard for me to say things to people sometimes, but you are always easy to talk to. I love you all the numbers, no matter what. You are one of the best friends I've ever had.

I absolutely hate you with everything I have in me and I try to ignore the fact that I like you but I can't. Overall you're an amazing person and I'm grateful that you have a big impact on my life. I hate you.

i’m sorry i took so long to open up and by the time i was ready you had given up trying.im sorry i didn’t try hard enough.

let me be over there again
i wish i could be with them instead
let me return for the night shift
i miss them like they’re my only friend

Why’d you leave me without any closure? I miss you so much and I wish we could’ve stayed friends at least...I just wish I could’ve said goodbye or anything...It’s like I never mattered to you at all

you are truly one of the best people i've met, and i don't regret the two years i spent hung up on you. it's good to see you happy :)

I really thought we could be something but I realised you just saw me as a friend, I will try my best

i remember ft every weekend until 4am, 2yrs of being ur friend and u still couldn’t figure out i loved you. unusually i would think about u every night. but now it’s only 2 a week. I met a new boy. the funny thing is, his name is also kai. he plays minecraft with me, that’s something u used to do with her.

this purple doesn't do you justice, I associate so much with you but the most vibrant purple in the world couldn't tell you how much I love you, you are always there for me and you are definitely the best person I know, you literally glow sometimes and I wish that you also saw yourself like see you, you are perfect

Dude.... what the heck man, you meant the world to me and you still truly do. Why didn't you say goodbye? Why didn't you tell me what was going on? Why didn't you let me help? I know you won't see this because you are no longer on this earth and I still can't accept the fact that my besets friend in this entire world no longer walks on this planet :( I miss you man, alot. And I wish I was able to give you one last goodbye, and one last hug, and one last "goodnight bro, don't go to sleep too late" You will still ALWAYS be my best friend for freaking life and I HATE WHAT YOU DID DUDE. AND BRO IM GETTING COLLEGE OFFERS FOR FOOTBALL AND I STILL WEAR YOUR NUMBER!!!!Also I thought you'd like to know that I told my gf all ab you and I think she likes you man:) I hope you're ready to the best man at my wedding bc I promised that you would be ? rest easy brother.... I love you so freaking much man and I think about you every second of my life and I will continue to do that for the rest of my life. Until next time dude. I love you forever ?

i still love you.
from the second I saw you, talked to you, texted you. you have forever been in my heart.

i caught myself thinking abt u the other day. i haven't seen u in 2 yrs but i hope ur dad's less of a dick now

i miss what we had. i miss the late calls, and talking about goofy things. i just want to hear your voice again.

Nobody likes you because you never shut up or say anything nice. Just leave us all alone. Can’t you see we don’t want you here?

Holy hell I really like you but I have no chance cause 3 other girls like you... Why do you string me on still?

Why did you stop talking to me after I told you I loved you? We were friends for years first. Did that mean nothing?

Whenever i start to think my mind comes across you. I wish that things could have been different but they´re not and your with someone else now. Even though it kills me i truly hope your happy.

I wish that you still felt the same I hate that you played with my feelings for so long and I knew it was happening but I constantly craved the attention I got from you. You were the first person I said “I love you” and I actually meant it. I know you want her and not me I get it, she’s perfect, she’s got a good body and doesn’t have problems like me. I wish I kept my mouth shut I would give anything to get back what we used to have. I think about you all the time and I wish you the best for everything. Live you always

kai, i want you to know that no one in this world will ever love you the way i do. you’re my everything, my world, and i wish we could be together more than anything. i’ll forever put you above everyone else on this planet because you showed me what real love is like. i’ve had crushes before, i’ve thought guys were cute, but i’ve never felt more in love with anyone before i met you. it’s a type of love that’s not just romantic. i’m not just in it for the hook ups or sexual encounters. you’re also my best friend who i feel i can be my complete and true self around. something that i find so hard to do. i don’t think i’ll ever lose feelings for you. no matter how much time passes or how many people we get with in the process, i can’t see myself ever falling out of love with you. the past 4 months have truly been the best months of my life. it makes me so sad to think about the last time we kissed a week ago. i had no idea it was going to be the last one forever. if i would have known it was going to be the last time i would ever be standing at your feet while expressing my love, i would have kissed u for a little longer, hugged u a little tighter, and reminded you of how much you will forever mean to me. i wish i could do all those things now but unfortunately it’s not my place anymore. you provided me so much happiness. you were the sole reason i was able to get up every morning with a smile. the sole reason i could get through the week. because i knew at the end of each long and stressful day that i could fall asleep in your arms. i wish i could go back and relive those moments one more time. just one more time. feel those feelings and feel that love even if it’s just for a second. i hope that some nights you also reflect on those moments that we shared together. the moments of lying in my bed with my red lights on, fresh lotion on my legs, a hoodie and small shorts, my laptop propped up to the side with a movie that was never finished, suddenly gives me the worst pain imaginable. because there’s one thing missing from this once perfect situation. it’s you. i feel lost without you and i wish more than anything that i could spend the rest of my life with you. regardless if you can even say the same anymore, i love you. in another life i know for a fact that we end up together, so in this one i guess i’ll just miss you. a part of me wants to believe there’s still hope for us. a part of me wants to believe that this isn’t the end. if it’s true love it will come back to me. it will come back to us and ensure me that i wasn’t dumb for holding on. i’ll always be here if you want to try again, because even though you’ve hurt my heart by ending things, i will never forget that you’re the reason it’s still beating today. i love you kai. my love. my bae. my baby. my best friend. my soulmate. please don’t forget me.

im sorry I couldn't keep my promises maybe one day maybe in another life time we'll be able to finish what we hoped would work out.ill always be by your side even if im not physically there just know you're always on my mind and I still love you.

I don’t think you ever realized how much you really broke me. I’m sorry I wasn’t enough. I do wish you the best always and I hope you’re happy!

I should probably stop writing these I just wrote one but I cant this makes up for the fact I cant actually talk to you. my friends keep telling me not to text you but should I listen to them?well thats if you even want to talk to me is this stupid? I convinced myself that we could never work out because of how far you lived but maybe just maybe if I tried harder if I put in more effort It could have. do you still think of me?do you regret falling in love with me?I know you'll never see this but is it okay to still love you?is it okay if one day I text you and tell you you're still the only person I wanna hold.

i dont like you. im sorry but im too scared to say im not interested and i don't know what this will do but its worth a shot. manifestation, yk?

do you like this color?it makes me think of you so ill think ill stick to it. you've moved on and im so happy for you by the way.maybe one day we can finish what we started. you know I was happy we were together. remember when you called me cutie and I told you I didn't like it? I lied it was different when you said it.when I felt insecure because summer was beautiful and I wasn't anywhere near as pretty the moment you said I was beautiful I wiped my tears away and reminded myself you didn't care you liked me and I fell in love with you that day.you told me I made you want to live if only you knew how bad of a place I was in until you came into my life.im not moving on I promise I won't let anyone call me the things you did. I won't date anyone just incase you decide to come back. that being said I hope this relationship of yours works out.please stay alive and keep fighting for the love you once had for me.the moment you need me come find me please don't give up im forever grateful for you kai.

after all these years you still have a lot of explaining to do. loverboy

p.s. I wonder if you kept my present