Unsent messages to ZOE
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: September 1, 2023, 3:39 am UTC
It will never be the same as it was and that’s your fault.
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: August 14, 2023, 2:40 am UTC
I miss you, I hope you know that even if you don’t miss me back
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: August 7, 2023, 8:17 pm UTC
You are my best friend, but somehow all your actions hurt me
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: August 2, 2023, 3:33 am UTC
it’s not completely your fault that your drowning me.
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: August 1, 2023, 1:09 am UTC
to my dear sister. i miss having you around. i cant stop crying
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: July 10, 2023, 8:31 am UTC
3 years, and I still can’t sleep in the dark.
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: January 18, 2021, 1:34 pm UTC
I know when she gets on here she checks her name. Hoping for a cute submission from me, gushing about how much I love her. And I do love her, more than anything. But I cant help but think that in between searching for my love confessing itself among her submissions, shes also looking for your longing hiding in every post. And I hate you for that.
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: January 16, 2021, 12:59 am UTC
you hate it when i call you z, because that was reserved for when we were together. before i hurt you, i’m terribly sorry. some days i can feel the sting of hatred you still have for me, yet i’m profoundly happy you have accepted us as friends again. i miss the old us, goodnight you.
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: January 15, 2021, 12:40 am UTC
it wasn't worth it, because at the end of the day i don't have you. i just miss our ft and calls. i'd do anything in the entire world to ft you and pretend none of it happened. you also keep showing up in my dreams idk i just miss you, and i hate how we "hate" each other because i dont. i dont hate you at all, not one bit. I was wrong about everything. i would take it all back
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: January 15, 2021, 12:15 am UTC
im not mad, sad, upset, infuriated, salty, bitter, flustered, annoyed, furious, or enraged. i just miss you so much. i wish i never ended our friendship. i miss you, your cat, our laughs, our smiles, our cries, our screams, our sleeps, i miss us. i wish you could see how much i value you, i'm sorry. txt me
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: January 15, 2021, 12:10 am UTC
i hope somehow you see these and think of me, and if you're reading this. text me, you know who to text.
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: January 13, 2021, 2:59 am UTC
i burned all my goodbye letters to you. every single one. there were hundreds. but right now you are making me want to write more.
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: January 12, 2021, 11:16 am UTC
Hey, I kinda miss you, you were so chill but then you went to England and we only hung out once and then when you came back we never hung out. But you’re cool and it was always sm fun with you
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: January 12, 2021, 4:57 am UTC
you make my heart hurt but i’m also so grateful that i fell in love with you. i used to beg the universe to let me have my first love and you are her. I wish you loved me.
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: January 12, 2021, 4:30 am UTC
You made me realize I was gay but I can’t even look at you. I wish I could but a part of me knows it will never happen
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: January 9, 2021, 11:17 pm UTC
hey z, i will always cherish the times we spent together. i hope you still don't resent me. i grew apart... but the friendship we had will always be my favorite memory. ily, m
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: January 8, 2021, 5:36 am UTC
i put so much of my trust into you. so so much. that’s why it tore me apart so much. when you told me i should’ve thought about the lies before i got into it, well i was too in love. i still loved her when it happened, i was just sick of the constant lies because i have always been honest. to see you act so cruelly? how did that impact me? months sat in a hospital bed wondering why the fuck i deserved it. it wasn’t all you of course, but you’re definitely up there. i hope you feel some kind of guilt for how you acted, or maybe you haven’t changed. either way, i know now, as a teenager, that my life is ruined because of your actions amongst others. and i don’t mean that as a joke. like the after-effects of what you all did has literally effected me mentally to the point where i know that my quality of life will always be decreased. so the next person you get involved with, let them know about me. let them know why we don’t know each other any more. and warn them to keep their private business to themselves and their own family, not yours, just like how i would’ve wished i was warned about you. now, i can’t be “normal”. i’ve never felt true happiness since 2018. you STOLE my life, all of it. i’m not exaggerating when i tell you that every single day is a fucking struggle beyond comprehension.
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: January 3, 2021, 8:49 pm UTC
I’m sorry for letting you go. I miss you but I don’t. I think I just won’t let myself be happy. But you deserve so much more than me anyway so I’m happy I ended it before you got too attached, but I’m so sorry that you had to find me.
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: January 2, 2021, 11:29 am UTC
i can’t decide whether i’m jealous of you like you or just hate you my feelings are so temperamental and you’re the only friend i haven’t fancied which is saying something i hate how you get in the way of my relationship but i also love you’re stupid humour and think you’re actually quite pretty my one and only flex is getting that half a grade higher one time in geography
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: January 2, 2021, 10:05 am UTC
sometimes i still replay the little moments in my head. i miss being in your arms but whatever this was ended for the best.
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: January 2, 2021, 5:17 am UTC
I struggled with so much this past year and you helped me through it all. I'm so sorry that I couldn't save our friendship. I love you like a sister.
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: January 1, 2021, 11:05 pm UTC
I keep thinking about messaging you, checking in to see how your doing, but we havent talked in so long since we broke up, i dont think i can bring myself too. I miss you.
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: January 1, 2021, 9:52 am UTC
When we fell in love it felt like i had it all. U took that away and now ive never been lower and your happy with him
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: December 31, 2020, 4:30 pm UTC
Zoe I am so sorry for what I did. I’m so sorry. I see you in the hallways and all I want to do is apologize Zoe I am so sorry
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: December 29, 2020, 10:21 pm UTC
I wish I had kissed you when we were crying together next to each other on the last day of school... I'll do it next time I see you
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: December 29, 2020, 10:16 pm UTC
I just want to go to the beach at 12 at night with you and just sit and talk while hugging on the sand. that's all i really want
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: December 27, 2020, 5:37 am UTC
Every person perceives you different than how you think they do and no one will actually know you the way you know yourself. You proved that right and i hate that you did. And if I were you l'd try and make make you feel bad for that but I'm not you no matter how much I wanted to be I'm me the person everyone deems as a monster or psychopath but I'm not instead I'm just a person who doesn't understand many and what's so bad about that even if you want me to see my self as the villain in my own story I wont because after all villains are just people whose stories haven't been shared but I don't blame you either even if you left me when I was in unimaginable pain even though when I tried my best to explain my true story you never understood even though you said you did even though you blamed me for everything even if you hurt me just as much even before you left what hurt the most is you watched me burn out and cave into myself but you never noticed.Even if i cant sleep because when I do I have nightmares of you .And even after everything you still made me feel as if I should apologize for existing and I'm still sorry for that I'm still sorry that I'm too lond or confident or annoying or that I smile too much but even after i feel all these emotions I still can't blame you I can't talk to you without wanting to cry or be afraid you'll get mad at me and even if I have all these emotions I wont tell you because I know what you're going to say and that might be worse then dying but even if we weren't meant to be I'm glad it felt that way for awhile and I'm glad you almost made me love myself, almost. But even when i hated everyone I never thought that I could ever hate i walking around everywhere feeling like I was alone that everyone else didn't exist I felt like that for a long time but I met you and i was okay for a longtime even when they weren't so happy I was glad I alteast had you thanks for that but I guess pain deserves to be felt and im still sorry it was all a mistake and i regret it all even if it shows me you never loved me the way I did you.
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: December 27, 2020, 1:08 am UTC
Please, take better care of yourself. You are so good and it's a shame that you're the only one who can't see it.
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: December 26, 2020, 7:48 pm UTC
We have been friends forever and you saved me from so much, I love you and you're one of the few people who love me even when im unfiltered
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: December 24, 2020, 3:29 am UTC
i dont miss you. i miss the idea of you but when i think about it all, i realize we needed this.. for both of us. now live your life, put it in the past, and get over your grudge. its not attractive.
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: December 24, 2020, 3:22 am UTC
i hate you so much. get over it. go live your stupid life, and get over it. stop making it your personality.
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: December 23, 2020, 1:45 am UTC
why can’t you believe me zoe. you are irreplaceable and i’m not leaving you. i don’t know what else i can do for you to believe me.
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: December 22, 2020, 7:10 am UTC
you are the worst. who gave you permission to come into my life and make it 10 times better. i don't deserve it and i don't deserve you. i hope one day you'll find someone who makes you as happy as you make me.
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: December 19, 2020, 5:05 am UTC
you will probably never see this. if you do, i miss you. you told me you aren't ready, when will you be? - i think you know who
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: December 18, 2020, 6:46 am UTC
i’m hiding so much pain from you. it’s scaring me how easy it is. it scares me how easy it is for you to hide something from me.
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: December 14, 2020, 8:03 pm UTC
i messed up our friendship- i completely blame myself and although we speak again I will never forgive myself for not being as close to you. i think of you every once in a while. i miss you.
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: December 9, 2020, 7:24 pm UTC
you failed me. i told you everything and you disregarded everything. i attempted to kill myself because you were the only person I had, and you left me. i told you before my mind would become fucked. my meds are too strong and I attempted to kill myself in October. i hope you never find this but I tried. i really thought this friendship would last forever. guess I was wrong. don't try to contact me ever, because if you do I'll hurt myself even more. you're lucky I promised the devil I wouldn't kill myself so my friends can reach their goals in life. wish the best for you in the future. thanks for talking shit about me and ghosting me. at least I know the truth about you finally, it always shows.
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: December 8, 2020, 2:12 pm UTC
I don't know how to say this because you're my best friend, but I really love you, not just as friends.
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: December 8, 2020, 4:25 am UTC
It’s almost your birthday and I still can’t believe ur really gone. Since ours are so close idk if a year will pass that I don’t remember you. I miss laughing at practice with you so much. It kills me that I can’t remember the last thing I said to you. Although it had been 2 years if you had called I would have picked up. I would have done anything to stop you from ending it.
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: December 8, 2020, 4:18 am UTC
hey zo it's me. Im sad that stupid fight caused us to fall out but it was bound to happen right? you decided you wanted space and i decided i wanted to kms. It was for the best that we stopped being close.
I miss u tho sucks that you've never been yourself -- wish you would stop reflecting the personalities of others.
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: December 7, 2020, 1:16 pm UTC
You were my first real girlfriend and my best friend. I treasure the time we were together. You'll always still be a special person to me. I know there were times where I treated you unfairly and I regret that. I'm still learning to love myself and I hope you are to. I miss you.
From: ABC
To: zoe
Date: December 2, 2020, 11:08 pm UTC
do you really want me forever? because this is the biggest decision of my life right now but i just don’t know anymore zo. i don’t. i truly don’t.
