Unsent Messages

Every person perceives you different than how you think they do and no one will actually know you the way you know yourself. You proved that right and i hate that you did. And if I were you l'd try and make make you feel bad for that but I'm not you no matter how much I wanted to be I'm me the person everyone deems as a monster or psychopath but I'm not instead I'm just a person who doesn't understand many and what's so bad about that even if you want me to see my self as the villain in my own story I wont because after all villains are just people whose stories haven't been shared but I don't blame you either even if you left me when I was in unimaginable pain even though when I tried my best to explain my true story you never understood even though you said you did even though you blamed me for everything even if you hurt me just as much even before you left what hurt the most is you watched me burn out and cave into myself but you never noticed.Even if i cant sleep because when I do I have nightmares of you .And even after everything you still made me feel as if I should apologize for existing and I'm still sorry for that I'm still sorry that I'm too lond or confident or annoying or that I smile too much but even after i feel all these emotions I still can't blame you I can't talk to you without wanting to cry or be afraid you'll get mad at me and even if I have all these emotions I wont tell you because I know what you're going to say and that might be worse then dying but even if we weren't meant to be I'm glad it felt that way for awhile and I'm glad you almost made me love myself, almost. But even when i hated everyone I never thought that I could ever hate i walking around everywhere feeling like I was alone that everyone else didn't exist I felt like that for a long time but I met you and i was okay for a longtime even when they weren't so happy I was glad I alteast had you thanks for that but I guess pain deserves to be felt and im still sorry it was all a mistake and i regret it all even if it shows me you never loved me the way I did you.