Unsent messages to ZOE

i’m always going to love you no matter what. even if you don’t love me i’ll still love you like crazy.

i’m always going to love you no matter what. even if you don’t love me i’ll still love you like crazy.

i’m so happy we had that conversation. a huge weight is lifted. but i still have a heavy weight which is missing your warmth.

i think we aren’t on the same page about our friendship. i thought we loved each more. i thought you cared about me more. you are acting like this friendship isn’t special. ouch.

These past couple of years I have realized how great of a friend you are. You're a real one. Just know that it's okay to be yourself.

i’m so fucking excited to see you zoe. you have no idea how much i miss seeing your face and holding you. fuck it hurts girlypop. it really fucking does.

i just thought of this:

in my eyes, i have hurt you the most out of anyone, but i also love you the most out of anyone.

i don’t think that’s a good thing..

our love is out of this world. i really hope it doesn’t die out. i really do. because if it does, i’ll still love you.

i’m 99% sure that you mean way more to me than i do to you. you don’t need me. you really really don’t. you are better of without me while i’m hanging by a thread and you are keeping my head above water. i thought i was more to you.

i wish i was the only one for you. i wish i really was your everything. but i’m not. and we both know it but you won’t admit it. ouch.

Screw you, you used me for those concert tickets and a year later you unadded and blocked me on everything, again, screw you

You'll never think to come here and see what I have to say about you but every time I think about how our friendship ended it hurts me. You may think I'm the villain and continuously try to blame me for every little thing that goes wrong in your life but one day you'll have to accept that you fucked it up, not me. I tried to fix things multiple times, I tried to initiate talks and I put in a lot of effort not to shit on you behind your back - something you clearly didn't do. One day, I hope you reminisce back on our friendship and how YOU singlehandedly dissolved it. We should have never stopped being friends because of a small spat but alas, we are here. One day I hope you are successful and think back to how you treated me like shit and I hope it rides on your conscience because you were the closest thing to a best friend I probably ever knew and I know that I am the most genuine friend that you had. Hope I stay in your brain rent free xoxo

p.s good luck on your move, your roommate constantly complains about you behind your back but what happens to and around you is no longer my business anymore x

Is it better? With the people that we used to make fun of together, content with our cartoons and just acting like kids? Are you happier, leaving me behind, after pushing me into a mold, stripping me of my confidence, my passion, my pride? You made me into someone I hate, into someone bland and submissive, someone who you up and left the minute you could. Who would've known that three years could fall away just like that. I miss you, and I love you.

I'm sorry I ended things the way I did, but I think it was all for the better. Sometimes I miss you, and sometimes I hate you for getting with you know who... but either way, you'll always hold a really special place in my heart. I hope you're happy, and maybe someday we'll meet again:)

lol still naming my first borns kid ur name or darla but definitely margot zoe something uk? i hope uk who this is

you can hate me. just know i miss u more than words and what i did was so ignorant but i hope life is better w/o me

you're stronger without me. also he isnt/wasnt shit. trust me, you deserve so much and i just couldnt give that 2u

I'm sorry for ghosting you, I never had feelings for you and I felt guilty for pretending I did, when I realized what I had agreed to I got scared and ran away and never spoke to you again. Its been thee years and I still don't have the balls to say I'm sorry

i miss you more than you would think. we all do. i wish you couldve seen us now and known what itd be like without you.

im so sorry that this didnt work out, but im really glad youre happy now. if we could start over, i would do anything for you.

Why the fuck is your mom telling us we can't have sleepovers? We're in this circle, it'll go back to how it was in april. i can't do this again. i'm so scared of you losing you zoe. what if this is what makes us drift? was october our peak? we are going back to poor mental health, sleeping till 3, facetiming for hours. i can't do this again. i want to go back. to february when we went skiing. your dad would take us every weekend. the smell of the waffles lingers. as if it wasn't 9 months ago. 9 fucking months. where did the time go? it was yesterday we were belting defying gravity in the van. we were happy. we were kids. i'm scared we lost that. i want to stay kids forever. not all this shit about boyfriends and kissing. promise me, we'll never grow up. okay?

ily. but not the shit that people say all the time, i mean that. your the reason i live. i don't know what i'd do without you. when i'm not around you i get in a dark place. yea sure, you can be annoying but never take any of the shit i say to heart. i know i can be mean sometimes, i don't know why i'm like that. sometimes i lose myself, i don't even recognize the mirror. you bring me back to reality. your fucking crazy sometimes and i don't know fucking why. you put up with my bullshit and i appreciate it.

all of my friends tell me i couldn't stop what you said about me, but i can't help blame myself. i still worry about you and i know i shouldn't because it's obvious you don't care. i should hate you but i can't. i hope you know how much you made me hate myself. i felt hopeless and lifeless without you. you ruined me zoe.

sometimes im glad we met because of how happy you make me, but the way i cant leave makes me regret it.

I wish we could start over knowing what we know now. You’re the reason I can’t get into another relationship.

even though we've been best friends forever you made the person i loved the most leave and i'll never forgive you

I don't care if u never liked me. I at least cared for you. Oh and your sister is a ungrateful a$$hole just like u. I hope ur gf cheats on u. Xoxo have a good life ?✌️?

i miss you like crazy. and its all my fault. I loved you more than anything and I cant stop thinking about the past and what could have been. im sorry I was so scared... I miss you and your house and your bed. why didn't you say anything? why didn't I say anything ? it breaks my heart that you got over it and forgot about everything. what about all of those letters and late night texts ? im sorry that you'll never love me like that again and im sorry for fucking it up . I love you forever my sweet girl

Sometimes when I get sad thinking about you, I listen to our songs and look at pictures and cry. You'll never know about that.

fuck you. fuck you for everything you did. i didn’t deserve that and you know it. i hope one day you can at least find enough dignity to feel sorry.

Ich liebe dich daddy und ich bin so dankbar das du immer für mich da bist danke für alles immer wenns mir schlecht geht bist du da und bringst mich zum lachen egal was ist du bist immer für mich da und ich bin dir so unfassbar dankbar das du meine beste freundin bist ly

You are my first heartbreak and my first love... we are bestfriends and i wish we could be more than that.

I thought you like me... how could you move on so fast? please say u like me still and i will accept you again.

I loved you. And if I hurt you I wish you would’ve told me what I did before you stopped talking to me completely one day

You little precious bum thank you for existing and staying alive we should rlly vibe with girl in red and eat cereals together at 2am :D

Im sorry i treated you so bad, you gave me so much to appreciate and i threw it all away. I will always regret it.

it hurts so much when i look at you. you don’t know it and that’s why it hurts. i hope he knows what he has.

i just need to know that you're okay. i miss you every day and it doesn't help that i have our pictures every where. send me a sign so i can have some peace; even if it's just for a night. i love you forever and always.

I haven't heard from you for a couple of days and I'm worried. I know you were struggling especially recently and I should have reached out to ask how you were doing. I think about you so much everyday and look for you in every person I talk to, I miss you so so so much please please be okay. I need you to be okay. You told me to break hearts not promises. I just wish I would have asked you to promise me you would stay.

Zoe, my favorite bruh girl. Can I call you that? You’re the realest real one and you mean more to me than you will ever know.

you are the home of my heart, my childhood best friend, my first love. you were right when you said no one would love me like you. i look for you in everyone i meet.

I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry for everything. I’m a terrible friend. I just lost myself, I needed to find love. I knew you liked him, and as soon as it started going somewhere I realised how awful I was so I stopped. I just wanted to feel loved, but I couldn’t do that to you. I was so blinded by how he was talking to me that I didn’t realise that he was using me to get to you. I’m so sorry, I will never forgive myself for this, I think you should go on and make other friends. It hurts to see you everyday and know that I caused you pain, so please leave me. I don’t have the strength to leave you