ultraviolet also seems too lovey. and i think i've changed too much to identify with that book anymore. I've got to find a knew book. But thank you for being my Ultra-violet Re-Markey-able for a while. I'll figure out a knew name for you other than Siren Atticus, Ultraviolet, or Sis. You'll find it soon enough.

It's been 4 months since you left. And in the last 6 months you've gone to two of your girlfriend's birthday parties. Except yesterday it was hers. and not mine. I really am trying to be okay. I think the only reason i'm alive is because i wouldn't want you to blame yourself but its getting really hard to try. so i may have to say goodbye even if i really don't want to. I just don't see any other way out of my head.

I wish I never fell in love with you. I wish you never told me you liked me back. I wish you would have told me you weren't ready. I wish you wouldn't have kissed me. I regret having sex with you. I regret taking your jackets. I regret making songs for you. I regret writing letters for you. I regret giving you my entire heart. I wish you would have just forgotten about me. I wish you would hate me. I wish you would trust me. I wish you would understand. I wish you hadn't moved on so fast. Because i'm stuck. And you're smiling like you always did. You're happy. I'm supposed to be happy for you right? so why can't i be. Please just hurt me over and over again.