to fade away awhile, away from this taxing world. if only we could come back
unaware of the change in the people who trusted you to be there

and broke when you were gone

i dont remember much of anything from june or july, i just remember being hurt so i forced myself to forget. i'm sorry.

I can't tell if we still have chemistry in our relationship, you've gotten so distant. I hope we can hang out, make more inside jokes, and I can see you hazel eyes lighten up when we make eye contact or the way the make my heart melt when you look at me, with the sun shining down and it makes them look liking flowing honey. I don't know if you see in me what I see in you, but I'm hopeful.

i thought u liked me but i’m sure you’ve moved on lol. it doesn’t matter anyways cause i never showed interest in u when i actually did

you’re coming back. i knew deep down you would but i let everyone else sway me to believe it was impossible for you to want me. i pray you give my closure this time and you don’t hurt me again. i really like you but i’m scared. i’m not scared to admit it, or even act on it, but im scared of getting back in that awful spot i was in when you left. i wasn’t myself, i felt so low. and even the highest thrill that you give me isn't worth that.

“she has left forever, let blood flow from my eyes till my eyes are lamps lit for loves darkest places”

i miss you, dumbass. i miss your stupid jokes and the food you used to cook me and the way you played with my hair. i miss your laugh, those eyes, that stupid smile that keeps me up at night. you chose her and i get that, but when did life start getting so blurry?

Im sorry we were too young for our special love. You were the right person, but wrong time. I hope we reconnect soon.Imy

if it was you who put that message then know i will love you forever too
i shouldn’t have moved on and i don’t think i’m going to be with that person
i was wrong
message me
we can try again i promise
yes this is who u think it is

if u see this i do still love you and can’t do it without you
i shouldn’t have moved on and that will all be over
send me an anon message saying you’ve seen this with my initial so i know for sure or just text me
i will wait for you baby

You said you didn't want to hurt me, that's why we weren't together. But you not being with me hurts more.

i will wait for you. whether it takes you a week or a year or i have to wait until another life. whenever you feel like reaching out i will be there.

so you’re probably gonna be like ‘oh this won’t be about me’ but chances are it is so just read this.
u did so much wrong , not just to me but to the other people there.
i know that i was wrong too but i do believe i am a good person and the fact you said such horrible things then chalked them up to anger is realllly shitty.
but in the end, there is nobody to really blame - it was just a heat of the moment anger thing.
i don’t know how much of what you said that night was true and what was just lies due to anger but that doesn’t really matter.
i think what you called me was unfair because i did those things as a distraction from the pain you caused me
i lie awake sometimes completely unable to fall asleep no matter how exhausted my mind and body are.
i hate how you acted, made me feel and the people around you. but that was all in the end- at the time, you made me feel like nobody ever had and like nobody could ever replicate again. i don’t want to give up hope but i think i need to. you are nothing like i’ve ever felt before and i don’t think love is the word because it went beyond. all the happiness you gave me daily has just disappeared and i feel empty and purposeless . i have no motivation without you. i don’t miss the others. i only miss you. i only want you. it will always be you. you are the only person i’ve ever felt this way for.

if you think it’s you text me
i will wait for you until the end of time, until my next life.

Love and dependency aren't the same thing. Maybe we were young and stupid and maybe I hurt you more than I know, but guilting someone into a relationship is never okay. I was a real person too, not just a character in your favorite movie or whatever else you wanted me to be. I carry around a lot of baggage because of you, but genuinely I hope you will be able to find happiness in your life even though I no longer wish to be a part of it.

Spencer, i know you most likely wont ever see this because i'm too much of a bitch to send it but honestly i know that love apparently isn't a thing for people our age but i think that's a lie. i'm in love with you. i know you have your flaws but to me you are perfect. i know you don't want me anymore and that you have molly and if your happy i'm glad you are but this is eating at my heart and i miss you so much. i was trying to better myself for you and make everything last because your different and special compared to anyone i have been with. i was trying to fix my mental health and stop using unhealthy coping ways for you, i still am. i was trying to not be as clingy as i usually am and i usually move super fast and have sex within the first month of dating because that's all ive known and thats all guys other than you have wanted and i was so terrified to fuck it up. i really hope you come back to me one day, ill wait as long as i have to.

I still miss you. I miss talking to you everyday. You are one of the greatest guys i've ever met and i hope you are doing well. We just recently got back in touch and I know you aren't okay, I know you but I don't want to force our friendship and loose you again.

I still remember how you used to call me pink thinking that i hated it but when you said it i couldn't help but not

i hope you know how much you hurt me. but i also hope you know that id let you do it again. i miss you. please come back.

i'm confused. i think u like me but idk and idk if i like u back. i cant tell if i like u or the attention. im just so confused

i loveee u !!! talking to u rly brightens up my day immediately :) thx for putting up with me talking abt white men all the time

I will never say "I wish I never met you" because you were exactly what I wanted at the time. All the shit you put my through stuck with me and I will never forget, but some nights I wish we could still have those late night talks and I could watch your streams. Im sorry, but I felt I was putting in 5x as much effort as you, and it was exhausting.

i would literally give anything to have you back here with me... i'm sorry my sadness got in the way of forever

i never had a type before i met you, but now i'm going to be looking for a little piece of you in every new person i meet

I have always had a soft spot for you. I started to like you again and I thought there was a slim chance of you liking me back. I had hope, I didn't think you looked and talked to just friends like that. I just got done crying after my friend said what you said. I know how you ment it and I know you don't know I like you, but I'm sure you probably think I do now. People are pitting me now. Oh well I'll cry abt it then move on, its usually what happens. Sorry if I ghost you its my coping mechanism.

even though you live far & you probably don’t feel the same but i love you. i hope to say it to your face someday.

we fucked up.
we
are two fucked up people and i wish we weren’t. maybe things would’ve been better. imu.

i wish i could apologize for everything. i wish you could apologize for everything. i wish we were on the same page. knowing that we will never be in each other's lives ever again scares me but is also weirdly comforting.

It's been 3 years and yet still, everytime I meet someone new, I can't help but wonder what would have happened if I hadn't lost you.

we’re meant for eachother. idc what anyone says or how selfish it is to admit it. we were brought together for a reason.

you even ended up planning out how u were going to propose to me . u wrote down all of ur ideas in a notebook on every single facetime call we had . and thats how my love for blue butterflies and sunsets started .

you're happy with M and I wish you the best but there is still and will always be a part of me that wishes I was her...

The thought of you makes me cry, I still try to remember the times that were good and happy. The times where I was smiling just thinking of you not crying. I try to remember what that feels like but it's gone... your gone and your never coming back. So maybe I won't ever feel that feeling again.

i hate that we both ruined it for us and i hate that i can't tell if you still like or love me.

13 days, I’ll be starting over completely. I have to go now or I never will

youve got to stop reading my mind, you know me too well-

i tell myself i won’t but — i’ll wait for you. i think i’ll always just be waiting for you.

I feel you getting bored of me.

In my heart there will always be a place for you and me. i miss you a lot, i’m sorry

you’re my person, darling. my world, my love.

please tell me I meant something to you, I miss you so much

U should be so proud of yourself U will accomplish many great things in your life! Wishing U well xx

i can’t wait to marry you one day. you make everything feel like it’s ok

I wish you'd give me any sort of sign

sometimes i wonder, do you still wear your ring? ( i always wear mine :O :] )

I hope you’re proud of yourself for leading me on because you like another guy

I love you so much, it's impossible for you to comprehend how much I love you.

ill love you forever n always, n while the form that love takes may change tons, its always there

i luv u to infinity and beyond

would you still love me if i wasnt as full of life as i had been? the most scared and lost ive been?

You're still the coolest person i've ever met! Hope you're doing well