Unsent messages to SIMON

Something happened to you, you were kind and funny. Now reading back the texts you were just using me. There's no point in trying, who you were is far beyond gone. Love you.

i love you so fucking much but i genuinely can’t tell if you love me as much as you say you do or if you’re lying to my face so i don’t get upset. just be honest please. i’m so tired of people playing with my emotions.

it’s been a while but i still think about you. how did you fall out of love so quickly? and how can i force myself to fall out of love all this time later? i hate what you did to me but i can’t bring myself to hate you. and for that i hate myself.

i wish you saw in me what i saw in you. i wish that warm feeling i got in my stomach when i kissed you was reciprocated

I don't think about you anymore every day. Once in a while, I will but I don't find myself thinking if you are also thinking about me. I believe that we met at the wrong time of our lives. I love you also sorry I never got to tell you that in person. You were the first person that I had truly loved in a while and even though I get scared of commitment with you I was not scared. I was excited to see you every day you were the bright sunshine that I looked forward to seeing whenever I had a tough day. I believe that we are meant to be together and I hope we find our way back together soon in the future. But if we don't that's ok I wish you the best in your life and in our lives I hope we get to be together. I know this sounds cliche but you were that one love who just entered my life unexpectedly. Thank you because of you I got to become a better person. I love you and you will always have a special place in my heart.

sometimes i’m scared that you’ll do something and be gone. which breaks my heart but it isn’t fair since i have the same thoughts. are we good for each other like mentally? i’m not sure but i love you, i love you so much and nothing will ever change that. please don’t go though not anytime soon

even though you blame me for everything, i will always have a part of me that adores you and hopes you will ft me once more. but i think its my time to let go. you hurt me too much

Part of the reason this all hurts so much is that you've become a stranger. You were my bestest friend ever and now it's like you hate me. I get that we're "too attached" but what's wrong with that? It breaks my heart that talking to me makes you sad because talking to you made me so happy all the time. I can't ask these to you anywhere else, so let me try here. What about me is overwhelming or upsetting? When and why did you decide to grow distant? Are you mad at me? Has this situation changed what you think of me as a person? In a perfect world, what do you want to happen in... like a month? Do you want me out of your life forever? I just want some communication. I get it if you don't want to be my friend anymore, but the least you could give me is closure. Please man. I will still walk to ends of the earth for you, just say the word.

Dude, please just talk to me. I miss you so much. I can't stop loving you, even if it's just as a friend. I just want you back in my life. I am desperate. I can't look at turtles or rocket league or read the word pegging or listen to my music without thinking of you. And you don't have to feel that way about me... but just please. Let me be your friend again. Lord knows we're both struggling. Just let me in. Please.

I don’t know why i left you, you made me feel some way ill never forget. i still love you, and i know you hate me and don’t wanna talk but i’ll always love you.

you left when you knew i needed a friend the most. the shit you did may have passed 2 years ago but if you ever do that to another girl i stg i will kill you. don't you dare do that again

I know you don't feel the same way, I grasp at the idea every day that you could. In the end you're not gay and I am.

I miss you so much. It feels like hell without you here but I‘m trying, I‘ll always be waiting for you.

I love you daddy with every piece of me. You’re the most important thing to me. Please never leave me

I hope someone crushes your soul like you did to mine. I am scared to dissapoint and to not be loved again. Fck you.

this is my final message to you: i still love you but i will move on. i need to move on and get over you, but if you ever saw this and texted me, i dont think i could reject you

i miss you. i miss talking to you. i miss when we were in love, but honestly i dont even know when that was. when did you stop loving me? you never told me that and i will never ever be able to stop thinking about it. i still want you and it hurts that you stopped wanting me before we even broke up.

please text me again. i miss you so much i want to text you so bad but im scared youve moved on. please. we're so different now but i just want to talk to you again. :((((

it sucks that its been months since you broke up with me and sometimes i still catch myself thinking of you. even when you were typing your text to break up with me, i still believed we had a future together. sometimes i feel like i still do. :c

its been so long since we broke up but i still think about you all the time, why cant i get over you? do you think about me? do you miss me? do you miss our talks everyday? we went from talking every single day for almost a year to never speaking again. i miss you so much. it hurts me that if you wanted me again i would drop everything to be with you, if you texted me right now i would answer in a heartbeat.

strasznie mi przykro że tak to wyszło. czsto zastanawiam się czemu tak postąpiłeś. Czemu mnie teraz unikasz. Była pomiędzy nami jakaś więź. Baaardzo mi się podobałeś i czułam że ja tobie też. Kochałam z tobą pisać dopóki nie zacząłeś chodzić na imprezy i kolegować się z ....

i just want to have a time machine and correct my mistakes, i'm so sorry and i never stopped loving u

i love hearing about your day, even if you did fuck all. you know i love your voice - please never stop talking and i’ll never stop listening

Sinceramente, no creí que ibas a impactar tanto en mi vida, te extraño y me gustaria volver a intentarlo. Sé que en algun futuro nos encotraremos de nuevo. Tu eres la persona correcta en el momento indicado.

I really did love you and i think that if quorantine wouldnt have happend we would have been a thing.I liked the way you treated me , with respect and honesty.You were there with me when not even my best friend was there and you really did understand me and for that I thank you

i can't stop it. everywhere i look i'm reminded of you. and there's so much more i wish i could tell you but i don't want to exhaust you with my problems. you give me so many different signs and i'm so drained by the fact that I can't know if you feel about me the same way i feel about you.

hi i want to tell u that i really loved u, i have loved u since we were in second grade, we were stupid little children but i loved u for 6 years. you were my first trully love. when i told u that i loved u you said that u loved me just as a friend. that broke my heart but it doesn't matter. hope you are okay, see u on thursday.

I really love you and i know you don’t feel the same way about me but i just can’t hide the feelings anymore :/

what did i do wrong? did i care to much about you? i know we didnt date but it sure as hell felt like it. the way you looked at me was diffrent from everyone else. your eyes told me something your voice could never say. your soft smile and those green eyes told me something diffrent from what you could never say. that was the problem. you didnt talk. yes, words were coming out of your mouth but you werent saying anything. you were scared to talk to me but i was all ears. i wanted to listen but you just didnt wanna say anything. you were afraid to fall. but isnt everyone? you have fallen before and you got hurt. but i just wish you would tell me that. i had to figure that out on my own. your afraid to get hurt but the last thing i would do is hurt you. i just wished you would have spoke. i could tell in your eyes that you wanted to speak but you couldnt find the words. i just wanted to hear your true voice

when I saw you the first time I fell in love with you. I tried so hard for you to like me. But you never looked at me you always looked at her.

i used to like u. a lot. i will never remember the trip when we went thrifting :) i hope your doing. i miss you and i wish you would text me

I wanted you to like me so bad I changed my personality. Now I know you were only using me and never wanted anything more than a hu. You made me feel dirty and nasty for being anything but white. I just wanted your approval I guess. I think the wost part of it all is I know you won't ever like me for me

if i had wanted to hurt you, i would have done it a very long time ago. i hope sometimes that we still have a chance

es genau ein jahr her. ich liebe dich immer noch genauso sehr aber vermissen tu ich dich heute noch mehr als damals

Me hubiese gustado arreglar tu corazón, pero voy a dejar de insistir porque no puedo ni con el mío, ojalá algún día la vida nos quiera juntos, porque desde el primer momento que te vi, mi corazon volvió a creer en el amor

Even after everything you put me through, I cant stop loving you. You may have broken me down, but I hope you the best. Thank you for showing me that sometimes I just need to rely on myself....

Even after everything you put me through, I cant stop loving you. You may have broken me down, but I hope you the best. Thank you for showing me that sometimes I just need to rely on myself.

You were ephemeral, I loved you as much as I could with my heart as a child, although you didn't, it was also a beautiful experience.

you are everything and more, you are all the colours of the rainbow and all the stars in the sky. i've never been loved by anyone as much as you have loved me. and i love you too silly man

Hey...lange her, dass wir uns gesehen haben, ich wollte dir nur mal sagen, dass ich dich echt vermisse und es wirklich schade ist dass wie keinen Kontakt mehr haben...Ich liebe dich...

We both tried to kill ourselves on the same day. It's wild to think that if just at least one of us reached out to the other, we wouldn't have tried.

You stopped being my friend because i wanted you're help with 3 group projects we we're in together. Seriously. Even after that i still tried to be nice to you and you responded to that by being sexist, and constantly commenting about girls and what they do. People like you suck and even though we we're good friends i think i'm better off without you.

It hurts knowing how much you hate yourself. You are deserving of love, and I wish you could see how much I love you.

I wonder if you're happier now? I guess this life just wasn't for you, but I still can't help but cry every time i think about you

Simon,
You showed me for the first time what it was like to be treated well. I am scared I will never find a connection with someone like the one we did ever again. All I want to do is hold your hand again. I genuinely wish you the best I cant stop thinking about you. No matter how many people I go on dates with or hook up with my heart and mind always goes back to you. You were one of a kind. I hope one day I get the courage to reach out to you again. I miss you so much.

Spontanous and unexpected our frienship was, but my feelings for you were much than that.
I have no words to describe those feelings and every word is meaning just a little besides the way I feel.
You will never know about this and I will never tell no one about this 'cause I know you don't feel the same.
I love you, Simon.

I really don’t know if I trust you with my heart, you keep letting me down and it really hurts me. But yet, I still love you.

I‘m at ease with not being with you, i‘m sure we ended up together in a different lifetime, it‘d be selfish of me to have you twice

I’ve spent very little time with you but when I first saw you in your blue jeans and black docs I knew I fell hard

you make me feel
safe, that doesn’t sound like much, but i’m so scared of so many things, and they all don’t seem to matter when i’m in your arms.