Unsent messages to ROSE

its you always in all ways.

Please, don't forget me so easily.

i wish you could see yourself through my eyes, then you’d see why i love you so much

I hope you will live the life you've always wanted, I'll be cheering you on.

it's sad knowing that i'll never get over our friendship

Have you been well?

I hope you didn't mind :)

Have you forgotten already? Have you moved on? Please, tell me.

you've changed so much

we could be something more if you would give me the chance

Maybe someday things will all work out for us again. I miss you man

Why?

I should've sat next to you, guess it's too late now

I miss you. I hope you're happy wherever you are now :)

i think we could do it if we tried !!

please rose, all i'm asking is for one chance:)

why tf cant i just leave you alone im sorry

Still into you.
Thought this will go away but it didn't. Imy.

i miss you so much

I miss you

i would do anything to talk to you one last time.

i think i deserve more than to just miss you

Give me a chance. Please.

you make me so confused about what i want. i want you so much.

i want to love you, but i dont know how to tell you

i don’t think i’ll ever stop missing u. i thought u would be in my life forever and u left me as soon as u could.

You were the rose that blossomed so beautifully in the night and I know it is sappy but it’s how I felt Every time I saw you. I wanted to admire your beauty and keep you for myself but you wanted to shine by yourself and I accepted it. As much as you pushed me away I still liked you, a lot and I hope you are happy I really do. The way I would go on about you made me so happy because during that time you were my happiness because I had made no effort for anything else. You reminded me of sunsets because I would be tired and my back would be in pain and I could no longer move a step forward and when I least expected, there you were with your smile. And just hearing your laugh I picked myself up even if I was exhausted. Even when my poor self couldn’t stand all I needed was to see you and I would continue marching, for you. I remember every small detail I would do for you even if it was small and you never noticed, or maybe you did, I could’ve been obvious who knows but if I had the choice I would do it all over again. Sure there was some painful moments but they were all worth it, every single ounce of pain was worth it. I still go back to the place we first met, even if I forgot the street and the location in my mind I always go back to it, it was my safe space. It reminds me of the first time I had felt butterflies. not the ones you get when you are nervous around someone who never meant a lot but you just liked them. They were the butterflies that felt odd but you aren’t afraid. You instead invite them in and let it consume every ounce of your heart because it feels like fireworks just set off. It felt like all those sparkles that would happen in movies that everyone talked about. I honestly never knew if I ever was going to get those sparks I thought it was all fantasy and I would just roam this planet and not feel it but then you came into my life. You made me realize so many things I never knew about myself. Even to this day I wouldn’t have found myself if it weren’t for you. All those silly songs I would play when I was alone just imagining you and me dancing in a ball room; it felt like peace. But slowly I started to realize those butterflies never went away. They really did take over my heart and when you left it was so painful I dreaded every moment. Even now I regret not saying goodbye. I regret not looking you in the eyes and instead like a coward walked away. But now it’s been quite a while and now I can still stand on my two feet and I can continue moving without feeling tired anymore. I feel at peace by myself and one day I’ll meet someone else who will give me back the butterflies that flew away with you when you left. But they’ll be new, they will blossom out of their cocoon and I will no longer yearn for those sparks. Because they’ll spark in front of me with them. I’ve always wanted to pluck you out of your spot where you blossomed in the moonlight cause I felt like you were the rose meant for me even if you weren’t deep down. But now I don’t want that, I wish for you to blossom in your spot and I will blossom in my spot. I just wanted to say thank you because now when I’ll meet the flower who is meant for me, I’ll instead help them grow and blossom they will be my moonflower. You taught me pain and how to love and that’s why you meant so much to me and why I loved you. Another thing I would like to add is that whenever I do think of you, I think of the color blue and I don’t know why. Every time I saw you I just thought of the color blue because everything about the color is interesting. On one hand it looks shallow but the deeper the color gets it feels like your are sinking in it and that’s how I felt when I saw your eyes. It felt like you always hid something and every time I looked into your eyes I felt like I was sinking like in a pool of honey. Maybe one day we will cross paths but I think we are better off without each other but when we do- I’ll wait for you at the same bench. And then I’ll be different and I won’t run away and I won’t hide. And every time I will stand there like an idiot, blushing and stumbling on my words as you just softly smile at me. And I will do this every lifetime I’m in. I will go wandering the world no matter how long it takes me just for me to fall in love all over again. Cause it’s always so bittersweet but I wouldn’t want it any other way. And it doesn’t matter how many years, or lifetimes I have to go searching even if you aren’t even on the same planet as me or I have to travel galaxies and search every star, every planet, moons, oceans or mountains just to find you. Even if I wasn’t enough you just meant so much to me and I don’t hate you even if at times I said I did. You just were an experience of a lifetime and what kind an idiot would I be if I didn’t say that’s how much you meant to me. Every time I will fall for you and I’m okay with that. This is a whole mess I know but I just had to let it out and I’m glad I did this.

You feel like amber wood.
It’s a warm hug.

The costume died when you left.
I thank you.
You knew I wasn’t going to be one to pull the trigger.
You’re so brave
So strong.
And for that I love you more than I did before.
I release you.
Thank you.
I hope you find the person that gives you sunflowers.

i’m just gonna write the paragraph i have for u on my notes so if u see this you’ll probably know who i am cause it’s rlly specific and i told abt this website today SBSKBD i’m scared to actually send it to u cause i feel like it’s too clingy so i’ll just tell u u can look for ur name and maybe you’ll see this ? anyways let me copy and paste ?
rose i love you so so much, u mean a lot to me and i love talking to you :)) u make me so happy and u always help me whenever i’m sad u sent me a fucking paragraph and u have no idea how much i appreciate every single one of them. i love you i wish i could help u as much as u always help me bc i just want u to be happy :( u r an amazing person and let me tell u u r so fucking strong. i’m so proud of you for being here. u also so sweet like i love you wtf and omg i love talking to u SO MUCH like u r so interesting and fun to talk to !! and sorry for always asking if u r mad at me i’m dumb but thank u for understanding wtf. also I WISH I KNEW U IRL like it would be sm fun wtf why do u have to live so far away ? also always remember i’m here for u and i will always be. also i remember one time u were taking to me abt the moon and then u said sorry cause u thought u were talking too much but i swear i was thinking that was very interesting hsksjs also u r so fucking pretty like wtf step on me please ? also it makes me rlly happy whenever we talk :) i’m so thankful for u rose

how was it so easy for u to leave and never talk to me again?? u didnt even say goodbye. i wish i hated u

i wonder if you've searched up your name here. im really scared to put your full name just in case you figure out who i am roselin... i've had a crush on you like 3 different times but i just never really acknowledged them until this one... it's been almost a month since i realized that me imagining you in romantic scenarios was bc i had a crush on you. i really thought you had no interest in girls... but ?? i don't know but i would really love to be ur gf and do cheesy stuff with you, you've been one of my best friends for about 4 years now... i really wish i could hug you. love you rosie

i really miss u. u taught me a lot abt self love and sexuality. ur an amazing individual. i just have to work on myself rn.

I hate the fact that i loved u so much and sometimes I still do, but i think u didn't loved me.. I hate u K.

My brain is broken I don’t know how to love and I’m always an asshole, don’t expect words of appreciation coming from I

I needed you and it felt like I didn’t matter at all and could be replaced so quickly by someone different , I understand I was a lot but I hated being left alone and that’s what happened

i always wonder exactly how easy it was for u to fuck off the way u did. i genuinely hope u one day feel the way i have every day. i wish i hated u.

I love you. But you’re toxic for me. Ever since we stopped talking my life has been going better. And as much as I want you in my life you don’t want me in yours and I’m better off without you.

i hope you don't find this. we both know that nothing will ever happen between us, but despite that implicit and unspoken agreement, i still can't get you out of my head. i wish i didn't admire you so. i wish i didn't find everything about you so beautiful. i wish i could have been there for you more, especially after how i've watched this year change you. i wish i could give you something better than all of the hardships you've been put through, but we both know that my commitments lie elsewhere, in more ways than one. if you find this, assume it was for someone else– it's not your name anyways. you don't know it, but i will always love you, whether i want to or not.

I'm sorry for everything that I put you through. It feels like so long ago. I wanted you to know that I look back on our friendship fondly and am thinking of you from time to time.

I was so young and you were so kind. I didn't even know what love meant and I thought I could learn by watching you. You're a trump supporter now and I'm a lesbian so I guess that's life

Rose I love you and always have and I want you to be my girlfriend your just amazing and I would treat you right.

what you have brought into my life is unexplainable. you leave an impact on every person you come across, i dont think you fully realize it. you deserve more recognition, you are a light in this world and i never want it to fade. i hope that this world brings you everything you deserve. i hope it returns to you every smile you have gifted others, every laugh, every moment. you deserve to receive all of the joy you put out. on behalf of everyone who has crossed paths with you, thank you for being you.

i think abt u every day. ik ur over it all and living ur life but i miss u so much. i wish u would tell me what i did

I really like you. And it's not that you don't care about me. It is the fact that I can't ask you out. It's unbearable, but I just can't bring myself to do it.

I wish that you realized that I gave you everything and loved you from the start and you gave me nothing in return.

I just want to dance in the rain. Sit on the back of a convertible going 100 mph. Reach the stars and give them a kiss goodnight. Hug a stranger and hope for the best. Run for miles on an empty beach at 1 in the morning in a dress and no shoes. I just want to live.

I felt like a child lost in a store when I was around you. But instead of finding me, you left. Why did you leave?

i see your messages on here and get sad because i miss you and you used to make everything better. now we’re just friends who occasionally talk but i still love you more than you’ll ever know.

i see your messages on here and get sad because i miss you and you used to make everything better. now we’re just friends who occasionally talk but i still love you more than you’ll ever know.

you still have a special space in my heart. even though it didn't last, you're still on my mind. i miss you

I don't think I will ever be able to love someone like you. I mean it and I am scared. I have never told you how special you were. I still have that photograph of you that I made. You killed me that night when you rejected to listen when I was ready to tell you how I'd been thinking about you every single second of those damned four months. You made me feel crazy. And I cannot hate you because you were that one human being, who made me feel like no one else makes sense. It's been a year since our last "goodbye" and you're on my mind since then, since forever.