i hope you don't find this. we both know that nothing will ever happen between us, but despite that implicit and unspoken agreement, i still can't get you out of my head. i wish i didn't admire you so. i wish i didn't find everything about you so beautiful. i wish i could have been there for you more, especially after how i've watched this year change you. i wish i could give you something better than all of the hardships you've been put through, but we both know that my commitments lie elsewhere, in more ways than one. if you find this, assume it was for someone else– it's not your name anyways. you don't know it, but i will always love you, whether i want to or not.
