Unsent messages to ROSE

I don't think I will ever be able to love someone like you. I mean it and I am scared. I have never told you how special you were. I still have that photograph of you that I made. You killed me that night when you rejected to listen when I was ready to tell you how I'd been thinking about you every single second of those damned four months. You made me feel crazy. And I cannot hate you because you were that one human being, who made me feel like no one else makes sense. It's been a year since our last "goodbye" and you're on my mind since then, since forever.

If you want this future with me and if I’m the reason you’re here why are you still thinking about ending it?

You have made my life so much better. Even just throughout quarantine, I have so many memories with you and they all mean the world to me. I can't wait to keep on making memories with you. Maybe I tell you this a lot, but you are one of the most beautiful people I know. I really am so lucky to have you in my life. Also, if you somehow found this, yes the purple is meant for you. I love you,
I hope this is the right shade :)

Maybe you’re better off without me. I Won’t be able to handle you leaving. Is there anything I can do? Just don’t go?

-this is to yourself or anyone named rose reading this- please don’t give up I know life is being hard rn but you have so much to live for! You haven’t been on adventures with people who love you, you haven’t been on night strolls with friends, you haven’t bought your first pet! So please please stick around for the memories you have not yet experienced! I’m not going to stop you doing what takes your pain away but please think about life whilst your gone how are your parents going to feel? Your sister? Or even your pets? And for the love of god get a new style hehe!

its toby im sort I smell I'm scared of having a shower to be real with you. I just want you back I promise I will wash this time xxx