Unsent messages to MOON

i need a sign.

i missed the way things where

u dont get my heart :’

how could you leave me like that?

i still miss u everyday lol

I don’t know if you still think about me, but I think about you. I’d get back in touch, but I don’t think you want me.

you told me words that hurt me more than anything ever could and being me, i thought i'd get mad and instantly stop liking you even after your apology, but that night i realized that i love you way too much when my instant thought after bawling my eyes out for hours was to tell you that i forgive you.

I love you with every being in my body. my soul belongs to you. The ink on my skin will always be for you.

i still stay alive for you. i cant do it for myself. you were the only one who could help me and even though we ended i still stay alive for you because i know you would still be proud of me if you saw how hard im trying. it hurts so bad to lose you because you were the only one who understood, you were the only one who i ever really tried for. i still love you and i will always be there for you no matter what. i meant it when i told you i would drop anything and everything if you really needed my help. i know that we are better off with what we are now but i cant help but miss you. i always wonder if you cried as much as i did over us, if you cared as much as i did. i guess ill never know.

You won't ever see this but just know that I love you, and always have. It doesn't change just cus we've been together so long

one time i said i dont like people touching me and you reminded me i let you touch me. i wish you could read my eyes, they were yelling to you that its because youre the only one i ever want to touch

youll never see this just like you never saw me cry over you. you stole a part of me, please treat it kindly. i know youre still with me but take care of yourself, i love you.

Querida e amada moon, soubestes desde o início que tudo se complicaria apartir do momento em que nos afastarmos,e no momento estou caindo de amores por você.

-Te parece bien si voy contigo?, Porque enserio te extraño demasiado.-
Debiste haber aceptado, así yo no sufriría tu pérdida y estaría sentada junto a ti bajo un bello árbol de cerezo en un lugar del que nadie si existe o es una bella mentira.

I have decided to stop wondering if you loved me because it was clear that you wanted to hurt me. Otherwise, you wouldn't have let yourself do that to me

this pandemic really made me appreciate life so much more. we really do only live once. i now know who my true friends are. i no longer care about what other people think of me and i can finally say i am proud of myself.

Love you! Thank you so much for being my friend, you make the world a better place. We should get high together again sometime soon

i miss being able to just know that i could text you at any time. i miss being able to just know that you're still apart of my life.

i still love you. and it hurts. why you, why not anyone else. you weren't right for me but you felt so right. but i realized that you made her feel the same way and thats when i knew that nothing was real. i didnt deserve this, why did you have to do this to me. i hate you but deep down i will always care for you. that's just how i am. i hate that i love you. i wish i could be your favorite person but i know i will never be that. fuck. you told me that you loved me. it wasnt just like a "love u" you told me you were in love with me. you said to me "i love you" you told me so many times. don't tell me that if you dont mean it. please. i will never feel the way i felt about you to anyone else. i dont think i can. i dont think i will be able to find the right person for a long time. i gave you my all. my life is so boring without you. i just want you back in it. you werent just right person wrong time. just wrong person.

i wish i could forget about you. i wish we had never met. i wish i had lost feelings early on and didn’t continue with you. the good memories aren’t even worth it. you caused me more pain than anyone else in my life has. you made me feel so unworthy, so useless, i always felt like i wasn’t enough. you made so many excuses. you know, you weren’t the only one who went to the mental hospital. you cant use that as an excuse whenever someone tries to confront you. don’t bring up the “ive almost killed myself” yeah, i get that you want to be selfish sometimes but it’s not fair when you do it every single fucking time that you fuck up. you are not the only one with mental problems. you are fucking crazy. i hope that in the future i will be able to never associate myself with you. i don’t want to be friends with you, i don’t want to be mutual with you, i don’t want to talk with you ever again. you fucked up my life so bad. i hope you feel guilty for everything you did. i hope that the guilt keeps you up at night. i hope you reach out to me only so i could reject you and tell you how i feel; tell you how i’m never going back and how i never want to talk to you again. i fucking hate that i gave you so many chances. i’m embarrassed honestly. someone like you shouldn’t be able to get that many chances. i wish i had put you in your place earlier on. oh if only you could feel the pain i felt. i know for a fact that you wouldn’t be okay if it was done to you. but, oh, when you do it, it’s fine and it was only because you’re bipolar. got it.

you made me feel like shit every single day. i hope you’re happy now. i hope you’re happy knowing that no one is thinking of you at night in a good way.

I dont know what i feel for you, but i miss you. I see the sky and and try to find you between the space.

dear william, you are a fucking cunt bag. why would you ever pretend to like me when you knew i did? its fine now bc im over it. theres someone that isnt a dickhead.

i relish in the idea you can't find the parts where you went wrong. i hope you writhe in grief forever

I really really love you more than anything in the entire world. If I could, I would sweep you away and we could live together in a beautiful cottage, or house, or anything really. I miss you, even though I've never met you in real life. I miss you because I haven't seen you yet. If you ever have to break contact with me, never forget me, I'll be waiting to pick you up when you can.

So im typing this in under ur nickname because I don't really want you to see it - at least not yet. i wont ever tell you, but it hurt me when u picked him over me, because i am in love with you. not just like infatuation or confusion, but i want to spend the rest of my life with you. were only best friends, but im mesmerized by your laugh and your singing and your smile and what you say and how you truly care about me and my life. i genuinely could imagine spending my whole life with you, and thats hella scary tbh. i care about you so much though more than youll ever know, and if he is what makes you happy, thats all i want. ill be okay. but hey, if he does it again, ill be here thats a promise. you mean the universe to me. i think ill always love you, but maybe one day ill move on. either way, thank you for being here for me. im so fucking lucky to have you.

every song that summer was about u
watermelon, kiwi, cherry bomb
desire, feelings, butterflies
modernity, loneliness, lover
Regret runs like rivers
streams of ifs, ands, buts
all flow to your ocean