Unsent messages to MIKE

it’s actually happening, you are actually leaving aren’t you. it’s finally happening, and I’m not sure how to feel about it

yes, the entire world is against us but i have such a good feeling that this isn't the end of us. love u

i really hate you. i hate you for hurting me and leaving me with trust issues. i hate you for being so fucking distant. i hate you. i hate you for leaving me. i really really hate you if that wasn’t clear.

sometimes I wish I had been born looking different so that you would give me the time of day you give other people. I regret ever saying I love you like a brother because I'm lying. I'm sorry and I hope you can find the right person soon. I hope it's not me. I hope I get my heart crushed so I can finally move on. Ill support you from the sidelines as always man. I love you.

i miss you n the laughs we shared on calls every night or the naps we took at mine then woke up to eat snacks. very much

i miss you n the laughs we shared on calls every night or the naps we took at mine then woke up to eat snacks. very much

i miss you n the laughs we shared on calls every night or the naps we took at mine then woke up to eat snacks. very much

dear mike
i hate you so much you yet still love you and it hurts so much that i still do and get get over you. I saw you as my first love, my soulmate even, and u saw me as a body and a way to check off everything you havnt done just to drop me right after. i gave you my whole body. my soul. everything. and u took it and spit it out in peices and tore me apart. and i still want you back i want to be in arms 24/7 i want your voice by my hair i want your fingers on my skin. i want your eyes on mine. please come back.

I still think about you, a lot. Idk why I can’t move on. A part of me still wants to have a relationship.

idk man. do you still think of me? what happened hurt a lot more than i let you see, and it sucked for you to not even register or realise why it hurt and why i stopped texting. in the nicest way possible, i think that you should at least know that guys like you are the reason why girls don’t want guys with girl best friends. no matter how hard you try to imagine the situation flipped, i guarantee that you will find that you have no idea how much it hurt. i felt so betrayed and naïve and stupid. i never questioned your friendship with her, i feel like i was so calm and respectful about it, i encouraged your bond and was happy to see you happy. i hope you understand that now, because of what happened, i will never be able to date where there’s a girl best friend. you pushed and broke my trust. you got too comfortable. i stopped texting so that you could reflect and that we could fall out of habit from talking the way we did. and if you never did reflect or think about me at all, please understand that what you did should never, EVER, happen to anybody. i told you that i was happy when you were happy, but did you not think about how i felt, outside of what i was saying? after all those months and promises and ‘i’ll never drop you’s, you couldn’t even begin to imagine the betrayal i felt. when you still texted me after it happened, i really was shocked by the audacity. i hated the way that i had no time to step back or to remove myself from the situation and could only do so after a week, after the texts stopped coming. what happened was inconsiderate, isaac. i hope you never put another girl in the situation that you put me in. especially during my own quarantine, when you knew that i was at home in a bad mental place. i started to feel so empty and alone and betrayed that i could die. how lucky i am to be alive.

turns out i didn’t even know you. that sucks. after all that happened, i still can’t believe everything was fake. i should’ve ripped up ur sweatshirt when i had the chance.
- sincerely, your ex, whose happier now so fuck u

you were my first boyfriend, first kiss, first love. because of that, i’ll always have love for you, even if you’re not in my life. you don’t have any of my social media. it’s weird that you used to know everything about me, but now know nothing. still, thank you for making me who i am. you were a lesson that i desperately needed.

why did you leave things like that? I thought you were a nice guy but now you can't even look me in the eye

Why are you still with her? You admitted to me that you’re with her for all the wrong reasons and still in love with me. You were my first true love, and I’ll never truly get over the way we ended.

it hurts bc you’re not the boy i fell in love with and i was never be able to be the girl that you could fall in love with.

you’ve moved on. it feels like i’m stuck in the past and you’re already so far ahead of me. i’m glad you’re happy.

I find myself hoping we’ll find our way back to each other. I miss you, and I really want the chance to love you.

you were so sure yesterday that you wanted to be with me. what changed? was she that much better than i was?

why?
why put me through that?
for 6 weeks straight?
why play me like that?
am i really that worthless?
that unlovable?
that undeserving?
am i going to have to ask for an explanation again?
because apparently, not only am i unworthy of your love, i’m unworthy of an explanation or simple text of “i lost interest. sorry i lead you on.”
instead i’m left here wondering.
i’m left here wondering why i wasn’t enough.
wondering that if i wasn’t enough for you,
how will i be enough for anyone else?
and now i’m going to have to see you everyday. I’m going to have to watch you flirt with my roommate. acting as if nothing happened. I guess i’ve been your toy this whole time. and now that you’re done with me, you just leave me sprawled out on the floor. vulnerable and hurt. wondering where it all went wrong. why would you do this to me? why would you think it’s okay to make someone feel like this?

I hope you treat her well. I hope you don't treat her like you did me. She deserves the world. I miss you, but I would never interfere.

you absolutely destroyed me. You broke my heart into a million pieces. Still , a piece of my heart belongs with you.

When i thought we were a thing... we could've possibly been happy. I think about you a lot. You've moved on. Im sorry...

electric. that is the word I use when I describe you. you are contagious. but you are also so dangerous for me. why do i want you when all you do is make me aware of my flaws. why do you do this to me?

i wanted us to be more. i know we have only been talking for a little while, but i can already feel the heartache that’s to come when you leave for nyc :( i’ll miss you

I just wish you loved me back. I gave you everything and you gave me nothing but that nothing was everything to me

i swear i've never met a boy so similar to me, and i'm just about to leave the country. what do i do.

I fell for you immediately. It was thanksgiving. You made me feel so fucking special. Only to shatter me to pieces. We haven’t talked in almost a year. I think I’ve been in love with you forever. You won’t ever come back to me. But I need you. I miss your hugs. And how safe you made me feel. I’m sorry for hurting you.

friends are not treated that way, love was mutual.
you never dared to say anything and you will regret it.

I miss u, I think I always will, but I think that the you I miss isn’t actually you anymore. I’ll always love you, but I think it’s better to love u from a distance. I can’t let myself get hurt again by u, I’m sick of crying over the same boy, I wish u the best in life

If you wrote to me in my color, i tried talking to you but you never answered. I miss talking too. I miss being your friend.