I hate what you did/tried to do to me but I would take you back in a heartbeat. I miss you. Lilac your favorite color.

I hope you know that you a awful human being, you made everyone hate me, ruined my life, and made the one person that truly made me happy leave. Just because you decided not to like me. You are so fake and toxic

you were my best friend. i cared about you so much and you broke me, you fucking broke me. you bullied me every day for years, said that i was worthless and no one would ever love me, or even give a shit about me. and you know what was the worst thing? i started fucking believing you. my friends kept you around even though they knew how much you hurt me, sat there while you said things to me that no one should. i started fucking believing you. it had happened for so long and i trusted you before and my friends never cared enough to stop it, so i just sat there and took it, you know? i thought that i was strong enough. i wasn't. i seemed invincible, huh. i thought i was. i pretended it didn't tear me apart every single day. then you started hitting me, just here and there but wow that was not helpful. anyway, i'm sorry. i'm sorry for whatever i did to make you so hate me, but more than that, i'm sorry for being weak enough to believe it.

To Katie,
the likelihood of you seeing this is slim, but i need to say it somewhere because i can’t bring myself to send this to you in person.
i love you. so much. i know you need space right now, and i will give you as much time as need to heal, and to be your best self. and no matter how long that takes, i promise i will be here, waiting for you. you are the first person i have ever truly loved, and there isn’t anything you could do to make me stop loving you. you’re my last thought before i fall asleep, and my first thought when i wake up. i miss your eyesand the way they sparkle, and how when the light hits them they glow the colour of an amazonite crystal. i miss your smile, and the way your laugh is like sunshine in a snowstorm, and rain in a drought.
I was searching for my childhood teddy the other night, when i accidentally found your jumper that i’d hidden by my bed, and i began to tear up, but as i inhaled your perfume, i instantly let out a sigh of relief, because being reminded of your sweet scent felt like a warm, comforting hug, and i instantly felt an overwhelming sense of safety.
I have spent my entire life worrying about what other people think, worrying that if i get too comfortable i might scare them away. but with you, i feel like i’ve known you all my life. i truly feel like i can be myself. you make me feel like i have a purpose, like i am wanted. it sounds so so stupid, but i didn’t really believe in soulmates until i met you. as soon as i laid eyes on you for the very first time, i just knew there was something special about you. i just had a feeling that i needed to know you. and ever since, every time you do so much as cross my mind, i get those butterflies in my stomach all over again. and even though i miss you immensely, i know that this is just temporary, so i will allow it to pass, because i am absolutely terrified of losing you for good, so if it means that i have to wait, i absolutely will. i love you, more than you will ever know. i look forward to seeing you soon :)

Hello friend. I wanted to return the love. You’re such An amazing friend and we do the dumbest shit together. I love you so much and I’m so happy you’re my best friend. I’m so sorry that it took me a while to see how terrible of a person “that other girl” was but I’m glad I was able to find out. I have such a fun time with you and I’m. It excited for you to leave. BUT it’ll be fun when I get to come visit haha. Anyways- we still have to go sledding before the snow melts and do more fun stuff. You’ve shown me what it’s like to have someone in life who actually cares about me. Thank you for always being on my side and for standing up for me in tough situations. I know I can be a lot to handle sometimes and I apologize for that. I’m beyond grateful for you and our friendship and I hope it never ends. Idk what I would do without you

We were so young i can't even rember how to spell your name. You taught what it felt like to be wanted, its a shame you broke my heart in the process.

I wish i could text you now, but i know that i can’t. Even a simple i miss you would break my heart. But i can’t help but think of the night we went to drop off your ex boyfriend’s things, the way i had to make you pull over, how i had to hold you in the drivers seat while you cried. How i felt your tears like they were my own. i miss you and i can’t help but wonder why you wouldn’t hold on to me like you did him. Or wonder if you even shed a single tear when you dropped two years worth of memories onto my front porch.

I miss taking naps together and i miss talking to your mom, i miss going to get our nails done or the nights you’d sneak in after work so we could see each other. I miss the late night drives and the songs we marked as ours. I miss the trips we took, the adventures we found where we’d say on the way home “there’s no way things like this happen to other people.” I miss the late night plans and the whispers of “I’ll be here forever” i miss knowing you loved me and i miss knowing you were there. When you and Leila made a faulty promise you both must’ve known you couldn’t keep, i said thank you because if either of you left i think I’d just die. A faulty promise from myself as well since I’m still breathing, sometimes i wish i wasn’t. Missing you isn’t going to bring it back or make the bad parts disappear, but i still do and i can’t help but wish you missed me too.

I can't believe I'm doing this. To think of you the way I do now, compared to two or even one year ago, is mindblowing. I'm not sure what exactly my feelings mean, but they mean something to me. I think you're aware of how I feel but obviously, nothing is acted upon. Nothing can be acted upon. It just can't. I'm leaving you in a year. I don't even want to imagine that day. The day where I say goodbye for either a few months or a few years, even decades. The pain that is going to be within me is indescribable. I really wish I didn't think this way about you. I wish. I remember after a long day, I came home, still in my clothes, laid on my bed and just cried. For 15 minutes straight, wondering why me? Why do I have to feel like this towards you? Why not someone else? Why can't I be normal? These feelings make it somewhat impossible to move on. I cannot recall a single person I have felt this way towards them in months. Months. I try, and I try hard too, but I always go back to you. No matter what. I have not told a single soul of how I feel about you. Not even those closest to me. I simply cannot tell anyone. I cannot deal with the judgements associated with their reactions. My feelings are unclear and they will stay like that until I am over you. I do not see that time coming for a while. I love you.

i hâte summer because it reminds me of you.

Maybe if I was born a man we could have been together longer. I’m sorry I left you hanging like that

I’m sorry we grew apart, even if it was for the best. I won’t forget you.

I still dream of your green eyes every night, I’ll never understand why I wasn’t enough, I miss you

I hope you never find this. But I miss you and hate you at the same time. it’s weird

The sunset was beautiful last night, it’s a shame it’s gone now, baby.

I love you so much and for so long, i just wish i could tell you knowing you're with someone else

I know you hate me but I love you so much. I’m aware we’re both girls but that’s okay my dear.

i know i can treat u better

I’m sorry I can’t move on…I just wanted to give you the love you so so deserve.

I wish we talked more. I miss you, but that frustrates me. Anyways.

i miss the old you, i miss how we used to be. i wish i did it better

Sometimes I wish who you used to be. I want you to be a mother again to me.

i want you back in my life even if i dont need it stay jazzy

i hope she’ll treat you as good as i wanted to. we could’ve had it all.

i hope we'll never break up. if we do, idk if i could hold myself back any longer.

i’ll always wait for you bug.

You are so beautiful i wish we could be together

It's been 2 years and I've never stopped loving you for even 1 second

There isn’t a single day i dont go thinking about you.

Im really sorry i had to cut contact. Ily

I wish you’d have put forth the same amount of effort as me.

i hope you love me like you say you do. you’ve changed my life and idk what i’d do without you.

We dated for a long time, it was my first real relationship I just wish I knew then what I know now.

i miss you more everyday i wish things didn’t end like they did

Honestly wish you’d just tell me you hate me i’d understand.

I’m not sorry, because you hurt me. But, I do hope things get better for you ❤️

Hey Kath, I miss you a lot. Did he replace me?
I do love you

I'll wait as long as I have to until you're ready, even though I know it won't happen.

You’re the best friend I could ever ask for. I’m forever grateful you came into my life <3

i just want one conversation. please.

I miss you kk, I really do wish we could try to be friends again. You can always text me whenever.

Do you like women? I can’t tell. I suppose we won’t speak again since I left so it doesn’t matter.

I still miss you a lot, my sun.

I miss you like crazy, please come back.

I will always love you. I wish you still felt the same and could try again my white bunny