Unsent messages to ISSAC

I like u and want to forgive but I just can’t do that to myself again.

I’m sorry for what i did, if i could take it back i would & it would be us my sweet boy

i am so utterly and irrevocably in love with your beautiful soul.

i want you to know that i think your amazing and i hope that one day we can be together

I’m sorry things ended up the way they did

Still thinking about those green eyes. I hope I get to see them again.

we’re still together but i know you don’t love me anymore.

What did I do wrong, you were everything and you dropped me like nothing. I won’t wait for you.

didnt u say u’ll wait for me even if it takes 10 yrs? y r u w the girl we used to gossip tgt abt

when i seen ur message my heart sank.. i miss you but i dont wanna start a new again

i care about u more than i think u knew. Pretending i don’t exist all of a sudden hurt issac really

I think about you all the time still. I'm sorry I ruined this.

I love you more than words could ever explain darling. I want to spend eternity with you.

i wanted it to be eternal
i don't think you'd like the person losing you turned me into
i love you

We would be perfect for eachother.

It’s been 3 years since i’ve known you but i still can’t get over you

I'm still deeply inlove with you but I know you'd never want me back.

I don't want you to go. Stay, please. I want to work through this, I want you. I love you.

Even though you chose her it’ll always be me in my heart.

All these years and my mind still wanders back to you.

I miss the old you who cared for me.

You ruined me.

I love you so dearly, I know you don't want anything to do with me anymore but I can't move on.

i dont know if i want this.

you are the light of my life. i wish i had it in me to tell you that i love you.

i wish we could talk more, i love you

i really think we’re meant to be. makes me sad it will never happen.

I’m not in love with you anymore but I still care and pray for you.

you destroyed me but i cant find it in me to hate you

So when u gunna admit that your just using her as an escape goat. Also cunt stop signing off from M
You both are literally fucking insane leave me alone Elijah

Issac,
I truly did love you. Everything about you. The way you were good with all those little kids. Your smile gave me so much serotonin, and the way you looked at me made me feel safe and I knew I was in love. I regret breaking up with you every day. I regret being a coward and blaming it on you because it was me. I was the one too scared to commit. I wanna text you so bad but I feel that would just hurt you. You have most likely moved on with your life, so I guess I should move on with mine. I love you forever. Thank you for being in my life.

its been almost a year. I cried a lot. You were the first to break me and walk away when I would have given you the world, and that has left scars that will never repair. Now every person after you just keeps cutting it back open when they do the same thing you did. But now im becoming numb to the feeling. im scared ill always be numb. I guess now we're the same in that way.

I wish I had held you less you drifted away as I tried to come in closer you showed me heartbreak you showed me pain my love.

I'll be here waiting for you until you come back. Please be happy for me and i hope for the best to you.

why did you stop trying? ik so many things were going wrong. ik it was a rough time for you but tell me, why did you stop. why tell me you love me when i could’ve just been a rebound. ik it’s been years but i need to know. i want it to stop. i want to stop missing you.

isa it’s kirsten. idk if you’re gonna see this or whatever but i really miss you. i want to tell you but i don’t want to walk back into your life years later when you’ve already moved on. ik what that kind of thing has done to me and i would never want to do that to you. i’ve found so much comfort with you and im scared of moving on. idk what to do with myself. i haven’t been able to sleep without seeing your face or being in your arms. you make me feel safe, up till now.

You were my first ‘love’. I liked you because I thought it was a law made up on TV. I don’t know who you are now or if you even remember my name. I hope you are living happily where ever you are. I hope life is good for you.

its you. its always been you. I know your not coming back but their is part of me praying that you do.

i miss you, its been a year now and i still think about you, i forgot your laugh, your smile, but i didn't forget you. i miss you more than you will ever know

It’s been a year now and I miss you so much but we were so toxic the day you stood me up a the movies is when I knew you’d never change

i just wish you'd understand what i did was for you. i knew i couldn't give you what you wanted, so that's why i did what i did

I hate you. I hate you so much why did you cheat? Do you know how much that fucking broke me? Now my current fucking relationship has to deal with the fucking trust issues your ass gave me. All for what? I'm not even sure if I loved your stupid ass or if I was manipulated into loving you. I hate you so fucking much. I hate what you did to me. It's hard for me to sleep now. Now all I wear because of your ass if shit that covers all of me. I'm doing so much better now and your ass is still trying to apologize fuck off and suck my dick.

thank you for being my first. my first love. the first person i wanted to spend my life with. i wish things had worked out. even with all the things working against us. it’s been years since we broke off but i still miss you everyday. you’re still always going to be apart of me, and i’m fine with that. i’m trying my best to let go, of everything, but i still feel the need to text you every now and then. and i’m sorry for that. you make me feel safe. even now. thank you for being you.

I’m sorry for the walls I put up. I regret it every day. I hope she makes you happier than I ever could.

I knew we were over when I washed your sent off your hoodie you gave me
-its hanging in my closet now

I know you would never like me back buh I’ve always liked you. One day I’ll be skinny and maybe then you’ll want me.

I remember when I would think about you and get butterflies. Every snap, call, text gave me butterflies. I would wake up to good morning beautiful, and fall asleep with you on the phone. I miss listening to you talk about your day every night,even if you didn’t do anything. I want you to text me that you miss me again like you used too. I want you to be in my bed again. I want to lay on your chest while our legs are intertwined and I have my hand up your shirt. I want you to come over early and cuddle me again. I want you to want me.
Now every snap or call makes me nauseous and gives me anxiety. I want to talk to you so bad but I’m scared that you’ve sent me another snap of you with another girl. it breaks me knowing you want her more and do more for her than you will ever do for me. You wouldn’t date me even though I was willing to wait. You wouldn’t drive to see me even though I wanted to see you. You wouldn’t claim me because you wouldn’t date me. You wouldn’t show me off, or be proud about being with me. You may have hurt me really really bad but I never regretted anything. I don’t like talking about you anymore because every time I do Im reminded by all of our friends of how stupid I was for letting you use me or how I was your rebound and you didn’t gaf about me. It breaks me the most knowing how I am so willing to go out of my way to make small gestures to be kind and show you I care even after you send me a video of you and another girl giving you head, you and her flipping me off, you sending me a video of you bragging about your night while in another girls bed. and no matter how bad it hurt me and I continue to be the best friend I can be.
Not to mention you told me you didn’t remember us having sex the last time. And that hurts too, sex is difficult for me and you know that. It’s not something I can just do with anybody. I had sex with you because I trust you with my body and I love you. The part that hurt the most were our conversations inbetween us having sex. The fact you don’t remember out conversations feels like I mean nothing to you. The next night you slept at my house I didn’t sleep because I was scared you we going to choke on your vomit. You drank way too much and I had to get up and give you water while rubbing your back to make sure you weren’t going to throw up in bed. And when I tried to turn away and fall asleep you grabbed me and told me you wanted me to cuddle you. I waited for you to fall asleep that night and whispered I love you in your ear. because I do. I would do anything for you.