Unsent messages to CLAIRE

i dont think we’ll ever truly be together but i’ll wait

I bet you think of me a lot

I know it’s for the better, but I miss us.

i think i'll love you for the rest of my life

I like you so much but please stop giving me mixed signals.

We ran out of time. I wish I said more

Thank you so much for choosing me ♥️ and letting me choose you

oh my godefijwef i submit to many of these but jesus christ im so frustrated all I want is to be with you and hold ur hand and smamy sending pictures of nene and hanako gonna make me scream so loudly imeiowfwoeif im sorry im litelrlat insane leet me calmdwon

You remember your first love because they show you, prove to you, that you can love and be loved, that nothing in this world is deserved except for love, that love is both how you become a person and why.

and I thank u. for being my first love.

- ?

i don’t care if i’m sitting on the ground in the freezing cold i just wanna see you also sorry i keep changing the colors pelapslpeel ｡･ﾟﾟ*(>д

mia and sammy were talking about all these people who are pretty and all i could think is how u r prettier than all of them wah

I want to dance with you. I want to cry with you. I want to be with you. You are so amazingly you:) the way you do your hair makes me smile. the way you do your makeup makes me happy. your so beautiful and I wish I could tell you.

SOBS so loud you are so beaitiful i could spend a wholeday just admrirng the way you are I litelrlat just sit there and I just think like oh my god they are ltielrlat so ethereal LIKE ACTUALLY this sounds stupid but u r what I imagine a godess would look like blah that was kindof cheesy
(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) AS MITSKI MTISK ONCE SAID "I COULD STARE AT YOUR BACK ALL DAY" so true

back again...
(´• ω •`) ♡ i just want to spend time with you ltierlalt being in ur presence is the best thing ever wah

wheee the day i tell you this to your face but oh my god I am so in love with you it hurts what like whenever we r together i cant even begin to like fathom?? how beautiful you are oml wah i am so fucukin lucky i am soossorry i don't tell you this but i wah i canteven sleep because i am thinking of you THIS SOUNDS SO CREEPY HELPELPHPE anywaywe.. hand feeling reeeeel empty

I know you like her but I can’t understand why. I’m right here in front of you Claire I barely see you two talk and I like to think we talk a lot right? Is it her face or the way she is because I thought you might like the way that I am.

I would also wonder “who hurt her” then I the people that hurt you and one of them being yourself. I wanna fix you I wanna care for you and I wanna make you happy. I will make you happy idc what I have to do but I’ll make you happy. Because when I see you happy it makes me feel very safe and hopeful
-u sit behind me ?

I know there is no way we would have actually worked out so I'm glad we didn't even begin so that it didn't end in flames. Even knowing this you are the most beautiful person I have ever met and just listening to you talk makes me melt from the inside.

okay i may or may not have already written one for you, i don’t remember if i told you or if you saw it but i don’t mind repeating again that you’re so pretty, inside and out and so hilarious, you never fail to make me laugh. you’re music taste and style is something i truly admire, and this is gonna sound weird maybe but something about the way you type makes me so happy. anyway, i hope things get so so much better for you and all the happiness you deserve comes your way. ly :)

Thanks for being my best friend, even though I know I'm not yours. You've been my rock through a lot. I hope I've been that for you too.

you really hurt me and I hate admitting that. I had no one for a year and got used to that. I was finally fine being alone, and then you came along and made me remember how good it felt to be cared for. I miss you and wish I was the person you needed because you were that for me even if it didn't seem like that to you.

I regret that I thought I hated you when I loved you. I wish I could’ve been there for you through everything. Sorry for being so fucked in the head.

I sometimes miss you and I’m sad that you won’t be my kids aunty or my bridesmaid but you were so toxic

You’re not picking up on it; you’re hurting me. I just don’t have the guts to admit “us” feels different now.

gah i feel bad because i’m so in love with you it hurts and yet like i never say anything about it and you don’t deserve that ig it’s because i’m super shitty at like showing my emotions ew that sounds weird jelepe but also i don’t wanna seem clingy and also there a lot of things i wanna do or ask but i just i feel like if i do you’ll think i’m weird or soemtning and leave me ah this alone sounds clingy i just i want you to know even if the only way i say it is in this stupid website and in my silly little playlist that i do love you and i’m sorry i don’t tell you enough because you are so perfect you deserve to be loved

i’ve been listening to this playlist since 4am oml im oooh their ass in lovenoooh sobs thinking about how i lotlelrst look forward to going to school just to spendeveb a litlte bit of time witjnyoi and i judt wnat covid to be over wah pleade you aresopeerfect in everywsy serioduky i i cant hadndnle tjis

i’ve been listening to this playlist since 4am oml im oooh their ass in lovenoooh sobs thinking about how i lotlelrst look forward to going to school just to spendeveb a litlte bit of time witjnyoi and i judt wnat covid to be over wah pleade you aresopeerfect in everywsy serioduky i i cant hadndnle tjis

i’ve been listening to this playlist since 4am oml im oooh their ass in lovenoooh sobs thinking about how i lotlelrst look forward to going to school just to spendeveb a litlte bit of time witjnyoi and i judt wnat covid to be over wah pleade you aresopeerfect in everywsy serioduky i i cant hadndnle tjis

I wish I wanted to take back what we had. It was too real. I don't know who I am now. But I wouldn't replace what we had for anything. I loved you more then u know

you are the definition of revolting. i would tell you to go to hell but you don’t deserve the luxury of going home. at least your face is as ugly as your heart xx

heyruiogwe youll proabbly read this at one point I hope so caus e=kmrhldmkf i just wanna say too like I am so incredibly in love it hurts I wish covidwasjnt a thing I'm ltierlarpkgerfg i just am so happy evueyrtime i see you and talk to you its unreal that you feel the same way I cant even likepwkofwprg fathom it idk the words also you are ltierlakt the mos tbeisitufl person I have ever met oml oml oml I'madkmofladjnofgaojdrgJONWGQJIWOE /pos im yeah I lvogrepr

I don't know what it is. you annoy the fuck out of me all the time. almost everything you do. but I can't stop coming back to you. I crave your validation more than anyone else's.

thank you for being you, saved me at the right time. will forever be greatful for you. love you forever, u are my rock.

claire, i really hope that one day you truly realize how gorgeous you are. how kind, but also mean, funny, and caring you are. i love your style and your music and the way you’re so tough. you’ve been through so much but you’re still here and still such a cool person. i’m very very glad that we met and that i have a friend like you, i hope that doesn’t change.

in a different world we’d love so big but you’ll always be my favorite one to love even w/o coming out.

I don’t deserve you. I feel so bad. I wish you were happier I’m sorry for being me. You deserve the whole world and more.

I wish you could have been the one to leave me, not the other way around. I miss you, but I needed closure somehow.

I wish you would get over the past. I wish you would say it all to my face instead of from behind a screen.

We went to the same summer camp. I thought you were really pretty and I always wanted to be around you. I then realized I liked you and I was gay. I hope you are doing well.

you're so confusing. how can you not be able to stand someone but hang out with her every day. how do you respond for the first time in days with a your mom joke. how can we have a whole discussion about my possible asexuality then you tell me you're in lust with me. i'm starting to wish we never got together. did you ever actually like me or was i just the only one around?

I am so appreciative of all you helped me realise. Although we will likely never be anything, I am so happy for the good life I know you'll have.

i realized today i’m as old as you were when we met. i know that you know what you did is wrong. but i don’t think you could’ve ever known the real life consequences it would have. i had to drop out of school. i’ve met people after you who i’ve loved and couldn’t be without. people who i thought i was going to spend the rest of my life with but i couldn’t feel close to them at all because of you. i can’t sleep i’m too scared. i can’t go to your city. sometimes i feel like i can’t breath when i think about it. do you know how shameful and tortuous it has been? i really don’t think you could. you told me you were perfect but i seriously think you are the worst person i have ever met. i would feel sorry to call you my friend, partner, or child. i hope there is any part of you that is happy with yourself so that this all meant something. but realistically i know for you it was some dumb thing you did as a kid. you don’t think about it. it’s meaningless. i wish i could feel that way too.

thank you for being the best person and my rock id be dead if it wasnt for you i love you more than you know and you ever will i love you more than anything and i dont know what id do wihtout you i love love love you

ily girl
i dont know how you can say nobody can love you or you dont deserve love because you do, ik you might not feel like it now but believe me you DO. i love u sm

I just wanted to say that I will always be there for you and you can tell me anything. I wish I could help you more...

since last year you haven’t been the same. i just want you to feel better. i know you’re trying, and I’m gonna be here. but dude. i don’t know what I would do without you, so don’t continue to hurt yourself over someone who obviously used you, and didn’t give you what you deserved. you deserve the world, and I want you to stop letting people treat you like you deserve anything but that.

you pretty much saved my life. i met you at one of my lowest points and you stuck with me through the absolute worst. even when things are still so shitty, talking to you always makes me feel so much better. i really don't know what i would do if you weren't in my life, i don't think i would be alive. you give me a reason to live, and i will forever be grateful for you

no i'm sure it's a good sign that you had and contributed to a breakup playlist the entire time we were together

Hi. Just wanted to tell you that you helped me way more than you even realized. We didn’t even talk that much but you still influenced my life so majorly. You were my first girl crush. Thats right, the very first girl I had a crush on. You were hilarious and always made everyone in the room with you smile. So thank you. Because now I am officially out as bi. And even though you knew literally none of this was going on, you still helped me so much. I love you.

you are toxic and manipulative. your racist, homophobic boyfriend does not help either. i miss when you genuinely cared about others.