Unsent Messages

i realized today i’m as old as you were when we met. i know that you know what you did is wrong. but i don’t think you could’ve ever known the real life consequences it would have. i had to drop out of school. i’ve met people after you who i’ve loved and couldn’t be without. people who i thought i was going to spend the rest of my life with but i couldn’t feel close to them at all because of you. i can’t sleep i’m too scared. i can’t go to your city. sometimes i feel like i can’t breath when i think about it. do you know how shameful and tortuous it has been? i really don’t think you could. you told me you were perfect but i seriously think you are the worst person i have ever met. i would feel sorry to call you my friend, partner, or child. i hope there is any part of you that is happy with yourself so that this all meant something. but realistically i know for you it was some dumb thing you did as a kid. you don’t think about it. it’s meaningless. i wish i could feel that way too.