Unsent messages to CHARLOTTE

I killed a part of myself to keep you alive

what are you waiting for? you know who this is

I want us back, our friendship our relationship everything.

You saved me and don’t even know

i miss you but i know i can’t tell you

please stay alive

I was blind before I met you

i will always love you more than you could ever understand

You always struck me as yellow; happy, cute, kind

you deserved better than me. I was the one who confessed to you but i was also the one who ended it. Im sorry. im sorry i cant love again after i got hurt. i let you go so early because a sweet angelic girl like you doesnt deserve to be lied to. I dont know love anymore

i literally hate you and think you’re the most annoying person ever. wish u the best but stay tf away! and you are weird as FUCK!

I hate that you’re a bad person and don’t have my best interest at heart, because you’re so great when you want to be. Please just be better.

I can't tell whether you're genuinly nice or fake, but you are so pretty and seem so smart, just focus on yourself.

i hope you're doing okay...i know when things ended for good it was abrupt, but we had both seen it coming for a while. why didn't we try harder? i guess we were good to each other for a while, but then things changed. our priorities changed and we became petty and stopped reaching out to one another out of spite instead of talking. i walk past you and it's like we've never met...you were my first choice, my best friend, but now all i have is the pictures on my phone. i look back at them and wonder how quickly a person can change. i miss you. if you ever needed anything and contacted me, i would have done anything i could. but you haven't, and i know you won't. but still, i'm sorry how things ended and i'll always love you.

I’m not sure if I’m in love with you, I’ve never been in love before so I don’t know how it feels but I keep thinking about that day in the park. I told you things there that I’ve never told anyone before. I miss having math class together and talking about stupid things instead of working. I know you have a girlfriend already but I think I might like you

charlotte love you look like a ferret, you’re an absolute wreck i’ll give u the credit, when i walk past u i just want to cry, not out of fear, but bc u make
me want to die, you’re non existing lips make u speak like a parrot, and u honestly jus look like a carrot.
i wanted to make sure u know, you’re nose makes u look like a crow, i’ve honestly never seen anyone worse, imagine being ugly on both the outside and inside, now that must hurt.
okay well that’s all for now so imma head out okay now ciao. xxxx

We haven’t talked in over 3 years. I don’t miss you but I miss who you used to be. When all is said and done you were my first real love, and sometimes I imagine how things might’ve ended up if I wasn’t so scared, but it’s for the best bc I blindly worshipped you like I was your lackey. I hope you’ve grown, I really do. And I also hope you never see this.
T.

Oh my gosh, I am literally in love with you.I would do anything to be with you and to be able to do everything together. We even go on road trips once in a while which make me super happy because you would pick me to go with you, just me and you, nobody else. I hope you will feel the same for me one day, maybe. But in till now, have fun with her.

¿Yo en verdad te gustaba?
Tú en verdad me gustabas, realmente no quería terminarte pero tuve que hacerlo.
Espero que estés bien, cuida siempre de tu salud.

Is it selfish of me to say that I wish I was THAT friend to you like you were to me and no one else? I took our friendship for granted. It made me want to skip town.

you make me feel like a massive burden, i thought things would be better but i just feel worse idk what to do anymore

i love u with my whole heart. i hope you never change yourself for anyone. i wish u knew how much u make people happy. :)

i still love you. i’m so sorry for everything i did but i want you to know i never stopped loving you:(

you literally don’t understand how much i love you and care for you but i don’t think i will ever be able to tell you this irl. you’re actually perfect and the most amazing person i know. im sure you’ll never see this but i kinda hope you do

nothing has ever hurt more than the feeling of missing someone you can't talk to. i love you forever and always pal :(

I still imagine you stroking my hair to get me off to sleep and I’ve never missed someone as much as I miss you.

hey, when do we get to run away together? because i could leave now. if you asked i would say yes. ask me now. please.

i hope that i am your everything just as much as you are mine. you are my whole world, and i know that i shouldn't say that because even charlie's mom said not to, but god, you are. you mean more to me than anybody. than my parents, than my sisters, than my boyfriend. you are my world. i wish you knew that.

Not too long ago I thought I was in love with you because you are my everything. I still don't have an answer, but I don't think I am, so you don't have to worry.

I am so ridiculously in love with you and I have been since we first met. I can never tell you or anyone else and I have to see you every day and know that you will never know just how much of an impact you have had on my life and how much you matter to me. When we are apart it hurts even more.

I honestly don't know where to begin. It all started back on Halloween - you followed me outside and watched the stars with me on a rainy night while the others giggled and fooled around inside. As cliche as this sounds, the second I looked into your eyes on that starry night, I immediately knew that I loved you. But it's not like I could ever tell you - not that I would ever want to. I honestly love how bright your fuckin' hair is, I love how you clutch your books with both hands and hold them against your chest, I love your art especially. I haven't found the right person, and this feeling is extremely new to me. I'm not really good at handling my emotions - I'm used to being 'The Dark Lord' who doesn't have any time for love. But you decided to come into my life and fuck up everything. I guess you can say you've stolen the heart of the dark lord. Thank you for being in my life, and I love you, I think. God, this is so confusing.

- Your devious paramour

im over u but it hurts to see u fall in love with someone else... but i hate that i cant blame you, it wasnt your fault. So im writing this message to you so i can get over you. Yes i think i did love you but you cant blame me. Nobody, and i mean nobody should me the type of affection you should me. So it sorta fucking sucks that you didnt tell me you were dating someone. Like yes maybe you were "just flirting" but i honestly thought you were instrested in me. Nobody holds and cares for others like the way you did. Im happy ive come to point now were i dont think about you every second of the day. It was so time consuming. Im happy i think about pleasing myself and liking myself instead of constantly trying to get your attention and validation. I mean we dont even have anything in common really, intrest wise that is. So thank you i guess. Ive growen so much from your geart break, but sadly now i hate libras and lewis capaldi.

you are one of a few people apart from my family who i truly love, i would do anything for you, you are my best friend and i don’t think i will ever find someone else like you?

You were the first person I was ever in love with and even though it's been so long, I'm still able to feel it.

I love you more than all the atoms in the world. I don't think I deserve a best friend quite like you. I don't think there are many words to say how much you mean to me. You have pulled me out of so many dark places. You have unintentionally saved my life and you'll never know it.

fuck! this is so difficult ... i love you so much and i am so afraid of hurting you. i'm not going to do it but i'm afraid to do it unconsciously, you don't deserve it. if i walk away, please try to move on, without me. i'm going to love you forever char, i'm so sorry about all this.

we are so similar. our bdays, family, pets. so why im I not as good as you? why do you get everything I want? why are you better than me at everything? why?

I hope I never have to see you again. I hope you one day feel what I felt when everything came crashing down

On the night before my birthday we were at a camp and you accidentally kissed my cheek. That night as you were falling asleep I couldn’t believe you were in my life, and now you’re gone.

Over the last couple of months, I feel like you aren't who you were, and I don't know if its a good thing or not.

You were my best friend. I've never had a connection like that with someone since you and I drifted apart. You changed. I miss the person you were. I realized later I was in love with you. I know you never felt the same way, but I still think about you often. Thank you for being my rock and creating those beautiful memories with me, even though you're not in my life anymore to create new ones.

I know your in love with him, but please don’t let that love make you forget me. I’m so lonely and angry that in the matter of 3 weeks you’re already unknowingly replacing me, but, all I want is for you to be happy and He’s providing that; I just wish I could’ve been the one doing it.

fuck you. you fucking destroyed me. you made me think i was in love when it was all so toxic. did you ever even love me or was that a lie too?

Recently I haven't been sure of anything in my life. I've been second guessing every decision I've made, every thought I've had. But not you. I know that I want to be with you. I'm only really happy around you. I miss it. I miss competitions that I admit I lost more often than I won. I miss your stupid jokes and your ability to brighten the entire room whenever you walked in. I know that we drifted apart and that it was my fault but I want you to know that I will always love you. The worst part about not being with you is that I know that you, at some point, felt the same way, but I was with someone else. I wish I could go back and change everything. Make it so that I was with you instead. I would give anything to do that. Or to just have one more moment with you. You're the only person I want to be with right now and forever. But I can't. So goodbye. I love you.

I'm trying to be there for you but you keep pushing me away and blaming me for it. I love you forever and we'll get through this but at the moment your view on me is completely negative. I've tried to change your mindset but you're not listening to me. I feel hopeless and I feel as though i'm talking to a brick wall. It's completely ruined me and therefore I've had to remove myself from you. I want to be there for you but you don't want me there. You mean so much to me

I know I've apologised time and time again for the way in which I went about things, but I just want you to know; if I could it would all have been different. I would've been able to get to know you better and confess my feelings in person. I was young and foolish. But I want you to know, I still count the days since I first realised I had feelings for you and the day I confessed them. It will be a year 10 days from writing this, I miss your voice in it's elegance and still listen to voice notes you sent me, your eyes that gleam & the ways in which you change your hair.

you told me you liked me and i didn’t feel the same then. but if you tried to kiss me now i think i’d let you

Yellow, our favourite colour. I only said it was my favourite because it's yours. I really want to tell you how I feel about you, but I can't.

When you left you killed a piece of me. As much as I try I can’t get it back and while I hate you for that I will never not love you