Unsent messages to CARTER

Hey , i can feel u slipping away from me i will miss you ml please take care for me stay alive and be safe ♡

I am falling so very hard for you and I know you will never let me hit the ground hard. damn, I love you.

Love was foreign before you. We stumbled through it in a way only 2 naive teenagers could. I forgive you. I hope you can forgive me.

Sometimes I wonder in the back of your mind do you still think of me? Like are there moments were your like dang if Ashley were here but idk you probably don’t

sometimes i miss you really bad and i just wanna call you but i know it’s not right. it hurts not knowing how you are but i hope your doing well. i wish we could of gotten a chance to ride around in your truck and scream country music, have bible study dates, or dance on the side of the road. anything and everything was fun with you. maybe one day but for now lean into God and grow in Him, so one day when it’s right we can be everything we ever want to be. love you always!

Truth. "Would you ever get back together with her?"
Why did you have to say no so fast?
(It has always been you)

I'm sorry that you feel that you are not enough for the "hoes" in my life... But I don't have anyone, not in the matter that you think.

You were the first person to ever hold me. To make me shake like there was still something good in me.

I'm really sorry Carter. I love you and I know I love you because it's been 3 years since I've seen you and I still think about you and how I would feel if I ever saw you again. I'm so sorry I ruined everything but in a way I'm not because I feel like it came back to bite me in the ass :/ lols... But I wish I didn't do it. One of my biggest wishes is to go back in time and fix it and fix us. It's over now though. I guess it's over. It's still hard. I used to be in so much pain and I felt like you were ok. I wish I knew what you thought of me. I wish I hadn't done it. You were my first love and I fucked it up. You probably never loved me, and it's so batshit fucking crazy that I associate so much feelings with a person who probably never ever had the same type for me. Wow. mindfuck.

I don't know if I loved you or not and I really hope I didn't but I was so deep in wanting you that I don't know who I am anymore

You deserve so much better than me but I’m selfish and I want you. I hope you’re split up with her and you will find your way back to me because I’ve told the universe I want you and that we will be together. I do think I love you, and it sounds mad to say after the short time we spent together, but it’s the truth, and I can only imagine some day you would feel the same about me as I do about you.

I need you in my life, you bring me so much positivity and i wish we had’ve ended differently. I want you back

You mean so much to me, that's why you'll never know how much you mean to me. I know I'm very confusing sometimes but all I need you to know is that you are not irrelevant to me or my life.

I love you but I do not think I am in love with you. I wish more than anything that I was. Maybe in another life we would be the perfect soulmates - I feel it in my bones. Maybe even in time we could be the perfect soulmates. You could be what I need. But I will be okay if you are not.

i fell for you hard and fast bc i thought you felt the same way and one day i had you in my arms yet apparently i wasnt who you wanted bc the next day you were dating someone else it broke me but ive gotten used to it

are u interested or just bored? i cant kept getting left on read like this. i like u soso much but i dont think u even care :(

I really wish our story could have a happy ending. I hope it does, we just have to wait. I know i’ll never be allowed to meet you while i’m living with my parents, which is why I held back on ever saying anything or actually acting on it. I hope we cross paths in the future

i can tell that there’s some space between us. i wish you would be more open to me. i wouldn’t judge nor leave you. i can tell that im getting annoying and i don’t blame you. thank you for being my brother.

i should be over you by now, idk why i’m not. i miss you always. i’m trying to let go but it’s so hard

we only dated for a week but i liked you so much in that timeframe, this was months ago but i still think about you so much and how much i miss you but i know that you’re never even gonna talk to me again knowing that you got a new girl but it’s okay

hey it’s me again, I dont know if you remember but we first met in 8th grade. You didn’t know this but I met you the week before my mom died. LOL then we reconnected over the summer? yea wish we never did. worst summer ever?

I fell in love with you the day I met you. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. Your touch is so warm and your smile can make any of my bad days 100x better. You are my world. And you have my heart forever and ever. I love you.

I think I’m finally getting over you. I think I found my self worth and finally being independent. I hope you’re doing well. imy. I still have your sweatshirt so I’ll probs return that soon but I feel like if I see you I’ll cry. it’s been rough. LAUGH OUT LOUD I GUESS lol

I'm not very good at talking about how I feel, and I know you'll probably never read this. I just really hope you know how much I love you, I love everything about you. You're as close to perfect as a person can be. I can't wait to see you again.

Thank you for being there for me... But in no offense, I can do this by myself. I don't need to weigh you guys down.

i'm sorry you couldn't see that i was hurting, but i'm also sorry that you didn't know how good of a friend i was.

I would love to be your new home and be happy together... But I can't do that... Right now. Maybe one day in the future but not right now.

this was very important to me because you were my first kiss and your bsf was my bsf's first kiss and it all went well.

although we didn't get to know each other that long ive never connected with somone more. you're the only person who actually listened to what i had to say and always comforted me. you've always made me laugh and smile whenever i needed it. i really hope you've been doing good and i miss you so much.

i know you just wanted to hook up at first and i can’t get over that. i wish i knew if you actually love me. it’s really gonna hurt when it’s over, but i think it’s time.

Realizing theres no one to go to
For comfort.
When theres no one to pull me up
When im down.
I get stuck,
Hugging myself for the love
The love I once wished you could give me

You make me feel alive. Not only living but being present in the the now. Present in the now of me and you.

Pull my hair,
Whisper in my ear,
Tell me everything you hate about me.
I'm yours to break.
So break me.

i’m scared that you don’t love me like you used to, it feels too good to be true. like there’s a catch.

I know I messed up badly and I wish I could take it back but I can't. If you find this please just come back big nose

I wanna text you but I’m scared that you won’t want me back but im also scared you still want me because idk what I want and it’s a mess I’m sorry

Quit being dumb... You're always overthinking, you over react to everything. I've just been busy.

(P.S. I wasn't sure how you'd feel about seeing me at the store so That's why I didn't talk to you)

one day soon, you and i will buy our own fuzzy blue blanket and i’ll be able to hold you underneath it while i kiss your forehead to reassure you we’ll be alright together and apart. i’ll let you pick the movie and everything :)

for a while, I ignored every message you sent. ignored every post you shared. ignored every little thing that had to do with you, now I find myself.. missing it. missing what I thought was potential. but maybe it’s not. you just always leave and ghost me and I don’t hear from you for days. why.

you have been there for me through so much and i wanr to tell you everything that is going on right now but i know you dont care and imma have to live with thatt

we have gone from talking everyday to just when you wanna hu, i miss and wish everyday we could go back to how we were

I hope you find someone I really do but if I treated you the way you treat me you’d hate me.
Abigail

Idk why we never worked out. I just think at the times we tried neither of us were ready for something real. I wish we could try again when we are both ready but after everything that's happened I don't think it will. I think I could've fell in love with you but I also was scared too. I still think about you and miss you sometimes. You're an absolute dick and you've made me so sad but I would always go back to you in the end.

hearing you say “ i’m not gonna give you my socials” broke my heart. but now i understand.. does she know about me? i wish i would’ve known it was all fake..

I want you, I want you, I want you, and I always look at you and maybe if you'd turn to me for literally one second you'd see how my eyes are always on you, but maybe that's too much for a girl to ask. I just, ugh, idk if it would ever work, but I just wish that you would know that I care a lot and when I act like I don't, I do. And I just wish I could hug you and not let go but that's never gonna happen unless you do something because I'm not going to you, you have to come to me first.

i think in another life that we were meant to be together, it just didn't work out in this one. i don't think i'll ever be able to forget about you ever.

i know you wanted us to work too. i wish things had played out differently. maybe it's a right person wrong time thing. maybe there won't ever be a right time. i've stopped trying to predict the future though. we met for a reason and i have to be content with that.

stop asking me out and asking why i don't like you. its fucking weird and i don't appreciate your advances if i haven't politely made that clear yet.

you really fucked me up. i always flinch now whenever my boyfriend want to give me a hug or anything. you’re a women beating peice of shit. hope you do terrible in court and get the charges you deserve. you took advantage of me that night i was so drunk. not only be but soon so many other girls to come after me. it makes me feel like utter shit. burn in hell

I'm sorry, I wanted it to last too, i dont know why im letting go, im scared to break up with you because i know your going to get hurt but i cant keep lying im so sorry