Unsent messages to ALYSSA

i just wanted you to know that, i knew you replaced me as your best friend all along...i didnt say anything because i wanted you to be happy, and if she made you happy, then that’s all that mattered to me. I didnt care that my heart was breaking, I just wanted you to be okay and have someone you confide in. I still love you and wish you the best. You were the longest best friend I had, since 8th grade, it went from the four of us to just us two in highschool and I’ll never forget that?

we both used to be loners. the minute i made more friends, i never forgot about you and would continue to talk and hangout with you 24/7. i kept reassuring to you that i’d never forget about you and that you had nothing to be jealous about and even tried to get you to meet my new friends. when they dumped me, you made a new group a friends and forgot about me. you’d cancel on me the very last minute, you’d leave me on read or deliver for days and days, and you lost interest for our friendship. i wish i wasn’t so disposable to you.

I still think about your lips on mine. I hope you are happy. I wish I had been nicer and handled things differently.

u r my best friend, and have been for years. i have never had a crush on u, but u truly were my first love. ur my soulmate. my family always loved me, and I always loved them, but u showed me what it was like to have a best friend, no matter what happens I know u'll always have my back, and it means the world to me. you've been there for me for 10 years now. i cant thank you enough. it means the world to me to know whoever else ends up in your life, ill always be your number one, your bad bleep.

you live in my head and i can’t get you out and i text you hoping for a response and i told you feelings were coming back and i just don’t know how to talk to you i wish we could just have a heart to heart conversation so i can tell you how i feel and everything and i miss talking to you and being in class with you and if you would ever stumble across this somehow just know that you mean a lot to me and you’ll know this is from me ik you will

you were my best friend. i loved you so much. why wasn't i enough? what did i do wrong? i can't take the silence anymore.

I wish I could tell you everything that I love about you. I want you to feel like you're the queen of this world.

I hope your doing well and I hope your happy with him!! You taught me that friends should never be my sole support cause they will end up hurting you one day. I hope your happy with Brady

everytime i see you i feel so bad. i was never enough and it hurts. how could i have been enough if you kept changing your standards ?

I wish you could just understand how you make me feel. The way my stomach gets butterflies every time I see you. The way your eyes captivate me. It's like you have full control over my emotions and I can't do anything about it. You occupy my mind from sun up to sundown, but I just wish you felt the same way. My life has always been filled with disappointment, but I think my biggest one would be not being able to spend the rest of my life with you. If only you knew

When people ask me what I saw in you, I just smile and look away because i'm afraid if they knew, they'd fall in love with you too.

I want to tell you so much. I want to throw this weight off my shoulders. nothing is holding me back besides fear. why am I the one who has to make the first move. why can't I be like you and hold it all back? I know you feel the same way... why won't you say anything?

Dear Raphael...
you made my fears vanish, my days brighter, future more reachable, and my life better. Even after it all, I always knew I loved you more and now you do not deserve it.

hey baby,
you are doing your homework and im so thankful I get to hear your beautiful voice every day. I want to do so much with you. ill be here as long as you want me

i hope one day you learn to grow up. i was rooting for you. it’s a shame you’re such a bitch. we could’ve been friends

i can't believe you're still hung up over shit after 3 months. get over yourself. stop harassing me and my boyfriend you freak. i know it's based around jealousy but you have to get over it. for the sake of everyone

I always thought we would be friends forever... what did I ever do to you? I was always there for you and you still took advantage of me. I still cry about you sometimes, you don’t deserve my tears.

I miss the tenderness you showed me, I miss the feelings, the experiences, the comfort, I keep replaying it in the back of my mind sometimes when I think about you. I also think about how we stand today, I don’t know where we stand to be quite honest with you. I want us to work out but I think you don’t. I think what had happened was you got bored of me. Like everyone else, you wanna experience other things and see other people and that’s okay truly. I just wished in another universe we are together and happy because you’ve made my heart feel things it’s never felt, i often think of the little things you’ve done for me that said “i love you” but without saying directly “i love you” like the time when you abruptly told me to stop rubbing my eyes and when i asked you said “because it’s bad for your eyes you can damage them” I thought it was silly. Or when you’d always run your fingers thru my hair because it’s the only thing that made me fall asleep. Or when you’d rub my tummy because of cramps, you took care of me and no ones ever taken care of me. I won’t forget you and I hope you don’t forget me. Love, L.S.

you taught me to be me and to accept that its okay for me to like girls, and i love you for that and i always will

This site says its for your first love and that is what you are to me. I may have been with other people, but it wasn't till I was with you that I realized that it wasn't love with them. You treated me perfect and even though you ended things I would jump back in a heartbeat because I miss you in every way that does and doesn't matter. I wrote this the night you left because im sure you will never see this so it will be less clingy and sad when the time does or doesn't come. You mean the galaxy to me and I wouldn't trade you for the world. I will think about you endlessly these coming months and maybe even years to come because I know thats all I have ever done was think about you. Your stupid silly jokes that I can't live without, slightly annoying things I've grown to love, I even love how you tell me no because I've never known boundaries and it has made me such a good man. You seen the opposite in what I seen in myself, and you made sure to remind me everyday of how you feel, and that was truly special. I was and am so happy with you I always got butterflies whenever I would tell my mother about you or when I showed her those pictures of you. You are the most amazing woman alyssa and I wish I could convey that better than a stupid wimpy message on a site youll never see. I'll talk to you later, when my name, face, heritage, and life are different

hey, i haven't told anyone this but.. i have BPD and that's why i was so clingy and couldn't let you go. maybe a little part of it was the feelings i had for you at the bottom of my heart that i could never figure out. im sorry and i love you more then anything

You were the first person I could be myself around. It hurts that I wasn’t as important to you. I’ll always love you

To my first true love I will never forget the moments we had, I wish I was in the right state of mind to be with you, I will always love you Alyssa P

fuck you for what you’ve done to me. i hope you experience exactly what you put me through. i hope you experience what it feels like when the person you love more than anything makes you hate life and yourself. and somehow i still want you back. i love you. forever and always.

You were my first love, you hurt me but I just hope you remember the good more then the bad with me, I’ll always want you to be happy even if it’s not with me

hey. something good happened. it's like a switch flipped in my head, and now i'm not sad when i think of you.

what you did was shitty. i'm not writing this to attack you, just make you realize that justifying why you hurt people so badly with the excuse that it was for your own "happiness" is a low move. it wasn't. it was just selfish and you know it. boys come and go but i guess everyone knows where your priorities are at.

don't doubt it, don't question it. don't push it away. don't force it. take all what comes your way alyssa. if it's yours it will find you.

The reason I never fully committed was because I knew you were still talking to him even after you said he was toxic. The though of being a second choice and never someone you’d open up to was a complete turn off.