Unsent messages to ALEXIS

i'm sorry, i still love you but i know it won't work out again

I love you so much, baby.

here's your sign

you want me to come back?

I talk to the moon about you, I hope life is treating you well.

i love you and i’m terrified of losing this

i just want you to like me /:

i miss hearing you say my name and i miss calling you lex

I will always be here, waiting for u

i still think about you everyday

can you text me

i love you. im sorry i didn’t say it before

i like u again lol

wished u liked me :(

to any other Alexis reading this, if things have been difficult for you lately as well, I’m sorry. Things won’t always be this hard. ❤️

it’s so weird to know all of your secrets but not how you’re feeling today. this will always be your color.

i still love you.so much that if you were to come back i would let you.
but i have to love myself a bit more than that. i guess this is goodbye.

we tiptoed around our feelings because we were too scared to risk our friendship... i wish we would've known that a year and a half later we'd be complete strangers.

You are either the best friend I’ve ever had or the love of my life and I can’t seem to decide because either way I never want to lose you

I wish you could leave the man you are with. He may be giving you your physical needs, but he is unworthy of your love. I hope you will find your potential partners someday.

why did i have to be the second choice.i treated you the best i could but you still chose her over me.am i not good enough?

It's funny. I didn't think this would happen. It's all very one-sided, I know. So go be happy with her. I'll be fine.

yeah i never told you but i totally had a crush on you last year and even a bit into this year. why did we stop talking? did i do something wrong? or are we just too afraid to press send?

La verdad haces cosas que me confunden, no se si me quieres como queeee. Nos llevamos 5 años y creo q eres muy inmaduro. Dime sientes por mi yaaa. Me gustas, pero necesitamos hablar.

I don’t have a love. I gave up because I’ve been heart broken many times, not by lovers but also by my family. I’ve been let down so many times. I’ve been used so many times as well.

what happened to us? to you ? we went from small friends to flirting and texting until 4 am. i looked forward to seeing your text back everyday. i get that i moved and got a bit distant but that doesn’t give you an excuse to all of the sudden act like i didn’t mean anything to you. Did i? In those texts of flirting, laughing, opening up to each other, did any of it , mean anything to you? Because it sure as hell doesn’t feel like it. Part of me hopes that you like me but it’s getting clear everyday that i meant nothing to you. What happened to the guy who comforted me when i was sad? The guy who made me laugh like an idiot? Now you don’t even bother. I just want an explanation. An explanation as to why i don’t mean anything you. I would normally say that it’s fine but you knew how much it meant to me that teddy bear , so for you to plan a date with me to remake the teddy bear and offer me your skateboard to now just leaving me on delivered to days and acting uninterested, it hurts. It hurts so much. What’s worse is that is that is still come running towards you any day. So please i just need to know, why. Why wasn’t i good enough for you, why you planned a date that meant so much to me, why you flirted with me just to act uninterested one day. I get that you’re not ready for a relationship but why plan that date with me? Why flirt with me and make me fall for you just to make me feel like it meant nothing to you? Part of me thinks it did mean something to you. That I meant something to you. I remember after a while of texting and it was getting late i said goodnight. And in waiting for your response instead of hearing the one notification of a simple goodnight back i heard two. One text saying goodnight, and another saying “ily”. I opened my phone and i freaked. Not a second later i saw a notification saying “unsent by user”. I think about that a lot. How you were behind the screen. Contemplating whether you should send it or not. And then you sending it and then chickening out and i sending it before i could see it. So, maybe it did mean something to you, or maybe you were just bored. I know your not the type of guy to lead a girl on like that, let alone plan a date like that and then get uninterested but it sure feels like it. So please, just talk to me. I just need to know if it meant anything to you. If I meant anything to you.

you hurt me when i needed you the most. you knew how much i was struggling after losing my little sister, yet you picked them over me. what did i do to make you hate me? when i tried killing myself and was stuck in the hospital, you didnt check on me.

i miss you but i know u don’t miss me at all. i hate you for how bad u hurt me but being friends hurts even more .

loved you since elementary, we’re seniors in high school now, you left to SD, i still think about you

i remember the first time i actually talked to you and i knew i was gonna like you, the way you looked at me,how we made eye contact, when we had a thing and everyone told us that we would be cute together lol, i miss you but i feel like i was nothing to you.

i kinda don’t wanna talk to you anymore. everything you do kinda bugs me. just the way you act, to the way you talk and just everything. you make me feel kinda uncomfortable and idek. it’s like we have fun when we are together but other times i just don’t like talking to you. idk it’s weird but it’s okay i guess

Hola cómo te encuentras?espero que bien, bueno en realidad te extraño mucho la vdd quisiera que nos llevaramos bien así como antes quiero volver a ser tu mejor amiga te quiero mucho que estes bien)):

I’m sorry about what I said last night, I swear I don’t think about you like that all the time. I wish you could hold me and tell me it will be alright.

179 days since the day we met. tommorrow marks half a year. six months. i know i dont have my phone rn but you probably still have me blocked anyways. i really loved you. i think. i read a study that says it takes 180 days to fall in love. i guess ill know tommorrow. idk. the bracelet i got in hampton was a wish bracelet. you know the ones that fall off when your wish comes true. i wished for us to meet. i don't think my bracelets ever gonna fall off. i think i might cut it off when i go back to tillys. i think i need to let go.

I will never forgive you for leading me to think my boyfriend died, all because you couldn’t contain yourself. you knew him for 3 weeks and made it all about your devastation, because he was some hot delivery driver you wanted to fuck. I could've lost my everything that night and I still cry when I think about it in passing. you were desperate to live out your melodrama fantasies, on the worst night of my life. you are the grime in the pits of hell

to the countless times you disrespected me and my relationship, the fact that you thought you had a chance is something we laugh about often. philip says hi

i miss u. i still think ab you. i still don’t understand why what happened between us happened. we were both so in love so quick & it was so good. so fuckin good. i don’t understand how u can tell someone & say the things you said to me then have that happen honestly. makes me wonder if u genuinely loved me or loved the attention i gave u lol. it’s okay tho i should’ve expected it. it’s the norm for ppl now honestly

I had to cut you off because you were toxic for me. Everything you told me was a lie, and you changed the way I see myself and everything around me. I trusted you, and you knew that and you used my trust to hurt me. I didn't deserve that.

i’ve tried to just “leave it” but you never gave me closure. i wish i didn’t, but i miss you. you broke me, but you were also my favorite person. be more honest with people, most of them already know. i just want you to be okay. idc what happens to me.

fuck you, you brainwashed them, fuck you, you stupid toxic wh*re, you really turned into the people we used to hate

As of right now, I still feel something for you because I care about you so much. It may be hurting my feelings that you don’t want me but I won’t leave your life again, I just have to move on and accept what you want because you deserve the world and my needs are irrelevant to your needs. I always wondered why you gave up so easily but still fought to keep your relationship with your ex after he cheated and idk I guess it’s bc you had more of an intimate relationship with him than you and I ever did. You said you would meet my parents again on iMessage and I sort of knew what u meant by that but I pretend to act dumb (I wish you were straight forward) but now idk what’s on your mind but it’s definitely not getting back with me and that’s okay. I just needed to let this all out because I’m tired of holding it in. I’m tired of pretending to not love you when I still do but I only do it because I want to see if you want me but you either send mixed signals or it’s all in my head because I’m manifesting it subconsciously.

Can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to re type maybe I’ll send more than one idk. Hi best friend, I hope you’re doing okay since you’ve been acting dry and haven’t been double texting me like you used to but I’m going to assume it’s because you’ve found someone else to talk to on the daily. I wanna be honest with you and share my thoughts because I can’t hold them in any longer. Truth is I love you and I will always love you. You will always hold a special place in my heart and I will never leave your life again unless you wish for me to do so. I never wished anything bad upon you when we split last year and I still don’t wish anything bad upon you because you don’t do that to the people you love. I know i messed up. I know i became someone else entirely by the time we split and it was all ego and I’m sorry I didn’t put my love first before my ego.

De verdad pensé que te gustaba o interesaba pero ya me di cuenta que solo estabas aburrido y por eso me hablabas asi

Sometimes i like to remind myself of all the good conversations we had now that you’re not a part of my life anymore

I dont know why you keep doing this to me. Like i literally love you and yeah you keep acting like that. It makes me sad yk :(

God I hate you. You are the worst person I have ever met, yet somehow I ended up liking you. I remember the sinking feeling in my stomach when I realized my feelings. Thanks for ruining me I appreciate the trauma, you bitch.

i’m sorry for pushing you away. i really do love you and i’m sorry i’m not good at showing it. thanks for today. i had lots of fun

Tal vez no fui lo mejor para ti, ni lo soy ahora pero siempre te consideraré y querré aunque ya nada sea como antes.

Envoi moi juste un message.
Je pense t'aimer.
J'ai juste peur de le dire. J'ai peur de n'apprécier que le fait d'être aimer. J'ai peur et je suis timide.
S'il te plait, envoie un message et dis moi que tu m'aime, je ne douterais plus.

hey, you'll probably never see this but I wanted to say fuck you for everything you put me through and thank you for making me realize I deserve way better. I am over you and I am the happiest I've ever been!