Unsent messages to SHAWN

hi shawn. i literally thought i was asexual before i realized how much i loved you. we are best friends and our friendship has always been really strong. of course i have made several mistakes, but our bond is strong. so strong. i know you don’t feel the same about me. i just know it. but i really wish you knew how much i care for you. i haven’t found anyone else that i feel the same about. it’s you. it will forever be you. i’ve loved you for years, and each day before i start the next i think about you. words can’t express how much i love you. you’re my best friend and honestly... someone who i will always have feelings for no matter what at this point. i love you.

I wish you hadn't made me believe that I was going to be your person only to be discarded. I wish I had hugged you a little bit longer and tighter that day on your couch. I wish I hadn't been so blind around you. I wish I could take all of my tears back. But I hope you heal as I'm trying to heal too.

I just wanna thank you for everything you have done for me. You have shown me what true love is. Yes, we may still be together, and yes I may have had other boyfriends before you, but I never felt the way I feel towards you. You have shown me what true happiness feels like, what actually loving someone and myself feels like. We may still be together, but I don't know when our time will run out. I don't think it will anytime soon but nothing really lasts forever. Promises are just words and it worries me that one day you're just gonna leave. You're gonna see that I'm not worth it and that you can do better.

why did you delete your account :/ i really missed being best friends and i know i ruined it but i was hoping you would feel the same. now we wont ever be able to speak again because u deleted the only way on communication we had :/

its been almost a full year my love and i miss you in every second of the day that passes. come back.

ilysm and i’m so glad you’ve stuck with me all these years i really don’t know what i’d do without you

its been almost 2 years, you still don’t know that I cheated. i don’t miss you but I hope you’re doing well

its been almost 2 years, you still don't know that I cheated. i don't miss you but I hope you're doing well

I thought it was just a little silly school girl crush in 2nd grade....until I realized 7 years later that maybe it was more. I should’ve acted on it when I had the chance

i've moved on. i have a boyfriend. he makes me happier. but i can't get you out of my mind. all i wonder about now is if you're with her or with someone else. i know i shouldn't care but deep down we both know that you and i had a "twin flame" or a soulmate connection. it was just the right person , wrong time type of situation. its been a year since we broke up. ik you probably could care less about me. i cant blame you. but i hope youre doing okay. i hope your 3 dogs are doing okay. please don't hurt yourself anymore. i love you even though you may not love me back. - "watermelon"

You broke me, I told you everything and you used my words against me. I thought we were more than that...

I'm sorry I lead you on so much. I love you more than anything but i'm still not over you know who. i'm so sorry

After everything that happened, I still love you and I still believe you’re my soulmate. I’m always going to be waiting for the text that you want to try again. I miss you.

why are you still with me if you don’t love me??? why can’t i leave even though i know i’ll never be good enough for you?