Unsent messages to SAVANNAH

im sorry i didnt listen to you about him. you were right.

In another universe.

That morning I told you that I loved you, it wasn’t on accident.

i love you i hope you know that

Congratulations on your transition from female to female. So happy for you that you were able to get gendered correctly in public because I mean it’s not like that’s going to happen anyway given that you’re not really trans.

your prob still making people sad and being a fake friend, i don't know why i kept being your friend-

I hate you. I fucking hate you. You’re such a selfish bitch and I wish I hadn’t wasted eight fucking months on you. Get the fuck out of my life.

I still love you , and I always will . You gave up on me when you thought I wasn’t trying . But I was trying , trying my hardest

Not my love but you were my best friend, I genuinely thought we’d last forever. Sometimes I miss you but then I remember all the negatives to you

I wish I knew how you feel about me. It hurts to realize how much you hurt me but every time we speak, I’m so blind to it because of how much I love you. I’m weak, I just keep running and running. I’m slowly losing hope my love.

You aren’t my first love hell I don’t think I even loved you, but why do I think of you all the time when I wake up in the morning, even when you left out of nowhere.

what do you mean i wouldn’t love you like this i always will ~savannah ps put a letter or something so i have a actual thing to write to

hi bingus. youre reading a bunch of these right now and i hope you see this. id do anything for you my love. youre my world and i cant wait to hug you

I miss how I used to feel about you. Now when I see your notifications, all I feel is anger. Fuck off forever.

I saw your message- at least, I think it was you. You never felt like a ghost. We might not work but maybe one day you won't feel like disappearing with someone else.

I always thought you were my best friend but really there was something more. You really hurt me but I still miss you. I wonder what could have happened if I hadn’t been so blind

i realized i had to move on when my stomach kept hurting and i didn't notice i hadn't eaten anything. i'm just a fucking fool and you deserve someone who doesn't fall for you so easily, like it was meant to be or just nature bringing you guys together. the nicotine is the seal on bliss and it doesn't taste how i remember it with you.

still woozy type beats haha pressuring myself to be the best at everything right now. just wanna feel like i'm in the right place to get my happy life, wife

tienes todo mi corazón, si hubo otro no puedes ser tú. tu cabello, tus ojos, tu mirada: no dejo de pensar en ti, eres todo mi pensamiento, desde tu ternura hasta la dulzura. eres todo mi sueño: no dejo de extrañarte y no puedo dejar de amarte. espero que creas cuando te digo que te amo. nosotros estamos destinados a ser.

you were my everything and you knew that, so you took it for granted and treated me horribly after we broke up.

You were such a good friend to me, even when I wasn't. Everyday, I regret not spending time with you more, and it only took me a whole pandemic to realize just how shitty of a person I was.

ive been in my room feeling hollow inside. i stopped chasing because i focus too much on conceding to make people happy, why should i keep taking a load off ever girl's back. i turned to a bunch of different self medications but memories of you run in my bloodstream with metal particles. i got way too close to killing myself. i've been hurting silently and my friends don't have my back they'd rather bully me out of doing shit. my brothers don't want me to make music, you probably don't either i bet. i'll be the man you need sorry if he's been the one you want. and i can sit here overthinking but i don't need any of that shit so i have been just getting more productive alone, talking to my closest friends from when i was depressed as fuck my senior year. i just wish i could have honesty, it hurts me u think i'm a piece of shit too, maybe i'm waiting for you to realize my worth, maybe i've assumed the worst since the jump. i keep going with this career choice because i know i'll never be happy if i don't prove to myself i can do it, prove that i'm gonna do bigger and bigger shows to get us nicer and nicer terraces baby. i wanna be better than your father to you, not like those scrubs just tryna make a connection over quarantine. i got trust issues so i've been putting my wall up for a while recently. it's the seventh year since my papa passed away today. no girl can make the pain go away for my brothers and i who just care about fulfilling what our kids will need. our kids would be pretty, my mum has ginger natural hair color, jsyk since you love it so much, and you and i look amazing together?? nate

Hi savannah, I love you more than youll ever know, even after we broke up i could never stop loving you. now we're best friends and i couldnt be happier. im still in love with you but not rly in the relatonship way but more as in the youre like my little sister and best friend. Thank you for keeping me alive for almost a year now, 20 more days. I love you savannah more than you'll ever know. Thank you.

i wish you would have know how much i loved you and still do. you were my best friend and i still cant delete your pictures out of my phone because a part of me thinks you'll come back and everything will be good again but i know it isn't true. i sat right next to you in all of our classes and we acted as if we didn't know each other and i would sit there thinking to myself what an idiot i am while you would talk to her and and flirt with her and then when the school day was over you would face time me like everything was fine but you left you did but somehow i put all of the blame on myself because in my eyes you couldn't do anything like that because in my eyes you are perfect. its been about six months since the last time we talked and somehow you just find you way back into my mind every night. we barely see each other at school any more maybe thats for the good because i know i should move on but i cant because you made me genuinely happy and your smile dont even get me started on that just by smiling you made the butterflies in my stomach rumble so hard you couldnt imagine. and they way you would say your words you would always add this type of sarcasm to it and it was just perfect. the way you made me laugh i swear i had never in my life laughed as much as when you were there. i really wish i could move on from you tho and that may be selfish to say but i dont care because even through all of that happiness after it all after when you left i became really sad. you made some of my favorite things in the world horrible . you made me wreck all of my friendships because i couldn't answer them back because i was so bad in a depressive episode that it felt like a chore to text them but if someone gave me the option to never meet you i wouldn't take it because even thru all of that you taught me a lesson you taught me that i cant put all of my happiness and dedication into one person and i cant look to others for happiness i have to be the one to bring myself happiness. i just want some closure and for you to say that you are sorry so i can finally move on because you put me thru hell but i think at the end of the day if you were to come back i would allow it because i am stupid but with you i was the happiest i had ever been. on that note i just want to say that i love you and thank you for all of the memories and lessons that i had and learned with you, from your old friend well i leave it anonymous love you. ill put it in yellow because its me and your favorite color. take it easy savannah ill talk to you later maybe well meet in a different time, in a better time when we both figured out who we are love you always

i wish you would stop talking to these other guys more than me, even though you say you love me. you barely bother to say goodnight anymore and its eating me up inside. are we okay? are we really okay? I never know if you're lying to me, even though I trust you with every fiber of my being.

thanks for all the good memories, i know you resent me for how it all ended but I truly wish you the best

So I was right? This was a repeat of last year, I mean that girl was a very short rebound but a random pause in my deep love for you...I feel like shit. That girl fell too hard, it was almost like my feelings were for you-except I repressed that shit for months. I can't break her, I feel awful. maybe I am over you and I'm just trying to justify not liking her, but if I was why would it be killing me that we haven't seen each other in so long? I really thought i was done, but my heart again calls out to you but please lets both continue ignoring it. Where'd my bestie go?

if deep down you know I'm not the one...then just go before it gets worse.

I don't want to be strung along if you have a plan already set in your head...