From: ABC
To: savannah
Date: November 20, 2020, 4:44 am
ive been in my room feeling hollow inside. i stopped chasing because i focus too much on conceding to make people happy, why should i keep taking a load off ever girl's back. i turned to a bunch of different self medications but memories of you run in my bloodstream with metal particles. i got way too close to killing myself. i've been hurting silently and my friends don't have my back they'd rather bully me out of doing shit. my brothers don't want me to make music, you probably don't either i bet. i'll be the man you need sorry if he's been the one you want. and i can sit here overthinking but i don't need any of that shit so i have been just getting more productive alone, talking to my closest friends from when i was depressed as fuck my senior year. i just wish i could have honesty, it hurts me u think i'm a piece of shit too, maybe i'm waiting for you to realize my worth, maybe i've assumed the worst since the jump. i keep going with this career choice because i know i'll never be happy if i don't prove to myself i can do it, prove that i'm gonna do bigger and bigger shows to get us nicer and nicer terraces baby. i wanna be better than your father to you, not like those scrubs just tryna make a connection over quarantine. i got trust issues so i've been putting my wall up for a while recently. it's the seventh year since my papa passed away today. no girl can make the pain go away for my brothers and i who just care about fulfilling what our kids will need. our kids would be pretty, my mum has ginger natural hair color, jsyk since you love it so much, and you and i look amazing together?? nate
