Unsent messages to ROMAN

i fell in love with everything about you. it’s been almost a year and honestly i don’t know if i still love you or just the thought of being loved by someone. you were so manipulative and were only using me for attention. i get it you were bored but why take it out on me. you blamed me for everything that went wrong in your life and i don’t get it. i still dream of you, our best memories, and the cute texts you’d send me. your friends hate you btw they would tell me everything they hated about you during our “breaks” i honestly hate you and this just clarified it even more. you’re such a piece of shit.

I'm sure if you ever saw these you'd be pissed. I'm sorry. Kale I am in so much fucking pain why do you always leave

You were my first ever crush, and it lasted for 3 years I think. I hope you are doing good in love and having the best time.

I’m upset you chose her over me, but i understand there’s always me if you need a friend, she’s pretty but I’m not happy for you it hurts

i just wanted you to say it back. even if you didn't mean it. i just want you too say it. just to hear your voice say it. "i love you." just once. please. that's all i want. before i cut you off again lol. because clearly. 8 is the way we're feeling. unreciprocated love amiright. like what the fuck dude. you lead me on every fucking way possible and for what. you know that i love you unconditionally. and that ill do anything for you. i love you okay. i just need to hear you say it back. please. ok anyways. lol. fuck you dude.

uhm long distance is gross
not even a relationship but i miss u
yeah stop being a bitch and move in with me already

My grandpa passed away Monday night. I just told my friends, I haven't wanted to talk to them about it, I'm afraid I'll look like I'm searching for sympathy. Morgan's having a hard time with it, I'm trying to be there for my mom as well. I don't know what I'm doing. I was really getting better, but I'm scared this is pushing me back down into a hole. I'm also worried if I really start opening up, I'll break and I won't know how to fix myself this time. I wish I could talk to you, god I miss you. I'm working on myself, I'm doing better, just these setbacks seem never ending. I hope you're doing well. Happy Thanksgiving even though I vividly remember you having minor beef with every American holiday to ever exist BAHAHA I love you. I'm sure you're thriving wherever you are.

did you make fun of the way i looked too? why did they say so much about my looks? it broke me, not because i care what they think, but because i’m scared you said things too.

god your smile. it’s what made me fall for you. now math class is my favorite class. when i see you in the halls my heart starts to race and when we make eye contact- even if you don’t realize it, it makes me so happy. your fucking smile is what gets me going. you chose the new girl to be your math partner. you didn’t have to- just so you know. i’m hoping you never see this- because that would be very embarrassing. you make me look forward to math class on mondays now. whenever i close my eyes all i see is your stupid face grinning that stupid smile. um but anyways i like you

I wish there was a way for me to know whether or not you see these stupid things I send. Whatever, I miss you.

I miss you. I send stuff here occasionally because it's the only place I can send things to and not worry about you seeing them. I'm doing well, I have a lot happening but for once I'm actually doing everything I said I would do. While I'm doing it for me, part of me is also doing it for you in a sense. I never want to hurt anyone in the ways I hurt you. I think you'd be proud of me. Like, I'm someone that you wouldn't be ashamed to know, I guess. Just, I loved you, too much. You're always on my mind, literally my brain somehow still associates a million and one things with you. I don't know why I can't just, stop thinking about you. I don't get it. It is what it is. By the way, I had green juice from Trader Joes the other day. Tasted like liquid kale. Can't catch a break. I hope I get to hear from you again, I never realized you could miss someone this much.

why’d you let the little things go...? i still have you, but not completely... please, if you don’t love me, let me go...

Love how you're still salty and petty about something so little that happened years ago, guess you still are a child who can't let go of things.

i can’t forget our old memories but i didn’t think you’d move on when i had to do something good for myself

I think you broke up with her. I have to say I still think about you. I really miss our old conversations about the office and playing minecraft. You were so fun to be around and I hope you are doing well. Maybe our paths will cross again one day. Until then I hope you are well.

i stopped sharing locations with you today. i wonder if you noticed. probably not, but i like to think that you did.

I’ll forever regret loosing a big part of you. I still love you. Please don’t leave me idk what I’d do without you next to me

Kale! I'm saying Kale because if one day you decide to look up your name on this site, you won't wonder if any of these are for you. You'll know. I miss you. I miss you every day. I'm sorry for everything. I'm realizing now how horrible I was to you, even after everything you did for me. Apologizing without changing is just manipulation. It was never intentional manipulation, and I thought I was doing better. I thought an apology could fix it all. It can't. In September you said our history had become just a lot of pain. I hope one day we can change that. I'm doing a lot better, just struggling with how I look because of what's been said about me. It is what it is. I just miss you, so much. I know you hate me and have forgotten all about me, I wish I knew how to forget about you, but I think about you all the time. Maybe I am a joke, maybe all the soulmate stuff was bullshit and you never loved me back. But, I don't regret a second of the time I spent with you. I hope our time is continued eventually, my life isn't the same without you in it. I miss you more and more each day. I didn't know it was possible to miss someone this much. Please come back so I can make you proud. This is so stupid, but whatever. I love you. So much.

I wish you knew how much you really mean to me. I always say that you mean the world to me and it’s true, my whole world literally revolves around you. I know you are good for me because you’ve changed me into a better person but there are times where I don’t know how to feel about you. I know over text you can’t really tell what how they are trying to say things but sometimes you’ll say something and I’ll take it the wrong way and literally just shut down. You’ve said things to me and I automatically stop texting back but then I don’t want you to know I’m upset so I’ll just text back so you know nothings wrong but there are times where I’ve cried myself to sleep because of you. But at the end of the day I love you so so much and I’m never going to stop because besides all of that you’re good for me. I love you and please don’t ever forget that ??

your card made me feel like the most special girl in the world. it hurts knowing you say these words to other people, but im in love w u anyway

every time i see a black cadilac escelade my heart sinks. does your sister drive other girls around now?

I don’t even know if you still read these, but I have no idea if you hate me now. Maybe, just maybe if you knew how much you hurt me and made me question myself you’d understand. Anyways this’ll be the last time I’ll write to you on here if you do check this by chance. I hope you find peace within yourself, I have and it’s amazing. Never thought I’d see this day but I miss you as a friend but I don’t think I’ll ever speak to you again. I shouldn’t have let you back into my life you literally chose someone else over me but whatever what’s done is done. I know you’ll do amazing things in life you’re such a smart and wonderful person. Hopefully you try out for basketball this yr though, it would be cool if I saw you out there on the court. Hope your 2k stats are good too lol I know how much you loved it. Anyways, have a good one Mr. Roman A. If you ever need me I won’t be there but I hope you get through every obstacle life throws at you and maybe you’ll learn from your mistakes. I’ll see you in Paris.

I don't know why I was so convinced that we were in love. We weren't I was just lonely and you were just bored, or maybe you just liked the attention. I don't know and I honestly don't really care anymore.