Unsent messages to RALPH

I miss the old you

I like u

do i really love you or do i just love the feelings

My great love, please don't outgrow me

I miss you, sorry for what I did to you

Hey, Red. I miss you, but you seem so fine without me. Why would you hold my hand but just let go of it in the middle?

I think ab you all day and all night ur the only thing on my mind I constantly worry ab you and I hate it get out of my head bitch I don’t want to but ily and its hell

hey I wanted to say that I never wanna lose you. your the best friend I’ve ever had and the person I trust the most in the world. your my favorite person I’ve ever met and the past year has been the best one I’ve ever had all because of you, ik I’ve only known you for a year but this past year has felt like you whole life because I can relate to you and talk to you ab literally anything. it’s a miracle that we even existed at the same time because I can’t believe someone like you even exsists ur that perfect. lmao if you see this tho that’s embarrassing bc this is for our friendaversarry I j needed to write it somewhere. so hi ralph if ur seeing this lol don’t hate me j date me jkjk unless no actually I’m serios but you don’t have to know that cuz I don’t think it could ever happen anyway cuz everyone hates you for no reason and I don’t know why cuz ur perfect and it’s kinda dumb and ur stupid retarded ex is making it all happen and saying she wanted to commit well you guys were dating but she’s literally doing it for attention and I hate her sm but I could never tell you that oh damn if you see this I’m dead but whatever ig yolo but actually if ur seeing this i love u and not in a friend way. k bye

if u somehow come across this, then you might as well read what i have to say. to me, you are my first love. the first person to break my heart, but the first person that made me realize how it felt to have feelings for someone. it’s been 3 years, almost 4 years since we first met. and you still haven’t left my mind. no matter who i take interest in or who i date, my thoughts constantly circle back to you. how you made me feel. and i realize now that no one has made me feel the way you did. i can never miss someone as much as i miss you. it’s not even that i want you back in my life romantically, but i just want you here. by my side when things are rough. because i know you’ll never judge me. you are the only person that makes me feel this way. i miss you. a lot. i miss our conversations, i miss our laughs, i miss the comfort your presence gave me. but i can only miss you, because everytime you come into my life again you leave. everytime. and i don’t know how to feel everytime you come back out of nowhere. and it’s always when i’ve forgotten you for a split second. you come back. and i don’t know what to do. i don’t understand why. what am i to you? what are we, to you? i never know how you feel. it’s always how i feel, but not about you. i’m getting exhausted of waiting for something that’s never going to happen. i want an explanation, or some kind of closure from you...but it seems like you’re never going to give it to me. because you’re with someone else. even if i end up with someone else, the questions i had for you will remain unanswered. i don’t know if you’re meant for me, but i want an answer. someday, somehow. i feel like we haven’t said our goodbyes yet. someday, we will. or someday, we won’t. but just know that, i miss you. i really do. and you didn’t ask but, the colours of this note is purple. purple is the last colour of the rainbow. to me, purple means that i will trust and love you for a long time. that’s how i feel about you. just thought you should know.

merry christmas eve!! i hope you post something on your story so that i can "accidentally swipe up" so i can finally talk to you lol.

I couldn’t believe you chose her, until you did, you chose her over me, u chose my best friend... but I still stay w u I still help you thru it all because maybe one day we could be something

I dont love u anymore, i dont care enough to give u that power over me, the memories make me miss you but I don't miss how u treated me and how u changed my perception of myself. I am worth so much more than u making me feel like I wasn't worthy for love from u and everyone in my life because as much as I'm not perfect, I'm a hell of a lot better than what you made me think I was

I wonder why I messed this up. The constant pondering of what we could have been constantly lives in my head.

I miss you my guy. I miss talking to you. I miss your voice. I miss everything about you. I am sorry for leaving. I love you.

You were my first actual crush. I would get super nervous around you and I still cherish the times we had. Now you have someone new and I wish I could tell you how happy I am for you, but we don't talk like we used to.

hi ralphy, how are you? I still think about you and cry over you even though people think I’m over you, but it’s hard man. I lost my first ever love, the first ever guy to treat me with respect and a guy that I could reach out to and open up to. I really didn’t think that you’d use her against me but you did and it hurts me more. Yes I did things after the breakup because i needed a distraction from the pain of leaving you for myself and I sound selfish but I wanted to do better for myself and I thought it’d help, but when you started posting on your stories with hearts and her name it broke me even more. It made it harder for me to even move on or do better for my health, but what can I do we’re not even together anymore. You probably hate me but I can’t blame you. I hope you’re happy w/ her now and that you always stay healthy. I’ll always love you forever! I love you from MA.

We’re over long time ago but there’s chance that this is just a pause. If it’s us in the end, know that I always knew.