Unsent messages to RACHEL

You showed me how to love someone else. I still don’t know how to hold on. Luv ya. You gave me everything and I’’m still. Holding it. Thank u

I still am in love with you. I want to be more than friends, but I know you don't want to. I want to tell you, but I don't want to ruin the friendship we've worked so hard to repair.

I’ll always love you no matter how hard it hurts. You deserve the world & maybe one day we’ll work out. Til then you’re forever my best friend rach. I love you more

school ended for the year and you don't talk to me. you don't put effort in. am i still even your friend? it doesn't even feel like you care about me. you forgot my birthday, you leave me out of everything. i get that you all work together, but just once, please include me. i'm drifting away from you all, and no matter how much i resent some parts of you guys, i never want to leave you. when are you going to appreciate me for being here? are you going to regret it when i finally move on, or will i just be another one that you all hate? all you do is criticise them, but i've watched you turn into the person you hate the most. its funny how hypocritical and bitchy you can be lol. i just wish you thought about others rather than yourself for once. there's a reason i don't tell any of y'all about my mental state

The thought of you is less frequent. But then a song or a memory pops up . I get mad because you picked him . We weren’t perfect . But we were all we had .

there is so much left to say, but if there’s only one thing to say it’s that i’d rather go my whole life feeling nothing but emptiness than to waste any more time chasing 10 minutes of euphoria with you

You were my best friend, and you deserve a message on here. I've never sent you another text since it happened because I can't stand that you're no longer reading them. I will never forget you, and I miss you every day. I love you.

This is for Rachel you big fat white nasty smelling fat bitch why you took me off the motherfuckin schedule with your trifflin dirty white racist ass you big fat bitch oompa loompa body ass bitch I'm coming up there and I'm gonna beat the f*ck out of you bitch and don't even call the police today cause I'm gonna come up there unexpected and wait on your motherfuckin ass bitch im coming to beat the f*ck out of you bitch cause you did that on purpose with your aundry racist white ass thin haired bitch watch I'm coming up there to f*ck you up bitch I'm telling you watch I know what kind of car you drive I'm gonna wait on you and I'm gonna beat your ass bitch cause Imma show you not to play with Jasmine Collin's money bitch thats the first thing you did and you got me fucked up cause bitch I told you what the f*ck was going on you white mother fuckers hate to see black people doing good or doing good or doing anything for them motherfuckin selves ugly fat white bitch watch I'm telling you I'm coming up there to beat your mother fucking ass thin haired smelling white dog smelling ass bitch watch I'm coming to f*ck you up cause you got me fucked up gonna sit up there and try to do that little aundry was shit bitch you aundry since the first day I came up there talking about a bitch that had on pajamas but you walking around here in some ten dollar ass jeans on dirty dusty white bitch sit up there behind that counter smelling like cheese bitch stinky fat white ass bitch and you gonna try to not answer this phone I'm coming to f*ck you up I'm telling you you better remember who I am cause bitch you gonna run when you see me cause I'm coming to f*ck you up bitch wanna sit up and play me about my motherfuckin money wanna play about my motherfuckin money bitch you gonna sit up there and try to do that bitch little do you know little do you know I know enough people watch I'm coming to f*ck you up I'm promise you that i promise you I'm coming to f*ck you up you fat stinky white bitch thin haired yellow yuck mouth nasty mouth ass bitch you stink you smell like fucking cheese and you got that trifflin ass attitude Imma beat that attitude up out you bitch watch you treat everybody like that all these old black people that you do like that you in the wrong position you trifflin ass racist ass white bitch thats why don't nobody f*ck with you cause you trifflin and you racist bitch sit up there and did all this shit and I told you what the f*ck was going on gonna tell me that I worked at that motherfuckin job when I'm telling you the f*ck I didn't bitch why the f*ck would I lie about some shit like that watch I finna come there and beat your motherfuckin ass you better not get out that car bitch I'm telling you fucking-

I don't hate anyone, including you. You are the one who is having a hard time accepting the outcome of your choices. You ended everything, no choice was given to me. You, yourself did that. You showed me that our friendship was worth that choice, whether it was impulsive or not, it was said and done. No explanations, no choices, no nothing. Your feelings are valid, they always have been. but do not project your regret onto me when you made that decision and especially when I was forced to moved on so long ago.

I'm sorry. I wish I could have the guts to say this to your face, but I've always taken the coward's approach to things. Even when I left you, it was cowardly. You deserve to know why, but I fear you'll never speak to me again. I wish we could've been friends forever. You were so good to me, and I'm sorry.

you're perfect in every way. i'm scared to lose you but it's worth the fear. it's so easy to fall in love with you.

I guess we had a time stamp. If not a lover, as a friend, I had your back, but you stabbed mine and left me to bleed.

I should have never trusted you as much as I did, you've ruined so many things for me but atleast you showed me everything I was so blind to. All I have left to say is good game and goodbye

hey girl- tbh i literally love your style. like you have such a likeable personality and i miss being close as FUCK with you. i'm not sure what your opinion is on me but whatever. anyways bye now you deserve better than that stupid boy ;)

I wrote I’m sorry I couldn’t save you the very last time I seen my biological father.

Ether way, you are both trash heh

i dont know if we'll ever be more than friends, but i thank the universe every night for your presence, you mean the world to me.

I wish you weren’t so weak, why can’t you just get over it already? Why are you so annoying? Fuck, no wonder no ones wants you.

its been almost a year since you've been gone and i just wish i could tell you it was going to be okay one more time. ill always love you and i pray you found your peace.

the worst part is that you don't even seem to know how much you hurt me.. you told me you loved me but you still couldn't even try to make things between us work. i don't believe you ever loved me.. because you don't hurt the people you love easily.

i'm so angry at you for making me have to hate you. I loved you so much but you ruined everything. I don't want to be mad at you but i have too for me. i know i deserve better.

People do not deserve your honesty, sure it maybe too blunt but they will only meet you to where they met themselves. Keep on being unapologetically you, they don’t even deserve to hear about your blessings. I love you so much, you make me so proud to love you.

even though you’re no longer in my life, i wish you so much happiness and love. i do miss but and i’m wishing you well.

I want you here with me I want you to hold me I want to go on late night drives and dance in the rain with you and then
Start to fall deeper in love with you

i hate you for all the hurt you’ve caused me. not giving into my emotions and messaging you is killing me. you make me so happy but so sad. i love you.

when i came out my mom said she thought u had a crush on me. rachel, i really wish u were gay, but i dont want to ruin our friendship. u saved my life and made everything better but why wont u love me the same way i love u

I wish I knew how to tell you- but I just cannot stand to be around you anymore, but you have done so much for me as my best friend. I hate that I'm starting to resent you..

sometimes I see you with her on school and I wish that was still me.
u were so bad to me, but i can't stop loving u

i never loved u and i hope no one ever does bc ur genuinely a piece of shit. ur probably the cause for a lot of my insecurities and ur a conceited bitch who only cares ab urself. get over urself and stay in ur own fucking business.

i hope you will one day figure out how much you truly mean to me, you are one of my reasons to wake up in the morning and i have all respect and gratitude for you. thank you for being there for me when i need it. i wish you were more confident, you deserve to be.

I really did wish I had talked to you more and that we could have been more than friends. When I look back at that time it still leaves me upset that I never acted on any of my feelings that I felt for you.

i’m sorry for being a bad friend. i need you. you were always my number 1 and i wish you knew that and i know i’m shitty for not showing it like i should’ve. you always came first. no matter what. but hey, here we are i guess. i miss u tho. i wanna hangout. please see this soon.

This is for rachel you big fat white nasty smelling bitch why you took me off the motherfuckin schedule with your trifflin dirty white racist ass-

He doesn’t love you. He just won’t tell you that to keep you around. Don’t fool yourself into thinking he does. If he did, he would be there

i want to ask you to get back together with me, but i don't want to lose our friendship if you say no

This is for Rachel, you big, fat, white, nasty, smellin' fat bitch. Why you took me off the muh fuckin schedule wicho triflin', dirty, white racist ass, you big fat bitch. Oompla Loompa body ass bitch. I'm coming up there and I'm gonna beat tf outta you bitch.

i'm having a breakdown rn, ik you said to call you when i'm hurting but i feel like such a burden; don't worry i'll message you i'm fine in the morning

5 days ago you made me pinky promise i wouldn't end my life, if it wasn't for that i would've been dead 3 days ago.

I pray sometimes that i could be the Jacob working for you. I guess you're not for me. ily.
God bless you.

you and your brother must be charmers bc i fell head over heals for both of you at some point. You have the cutest smile and cute little dimples that i'll never stop loving. Rach, you made me feel like the best person ever when i was with you. I could never stop smiling when we hung out. I would walk a certain way to class just to pass by and smile at each other. even tho we dont talk anymore, i miss you soooo much and i would do anything to have you back. ilysm rach xx

i wonder if you ever think about me, because often, i've found myself thinking of you. i wish i knew what went wrong between us.

We broke up a week ago. I still feel your touch on my skin and I still smell your smell when I think of you. But your smile is fading, I’m losing all memory of it. I love you and always will.

everyday you remind me of the person i could be if i tried and i hate it. i hate living in your shadow every single day. i wish i was like you

I didn’t think much of my feelings cause I thought they’d go away yet here I am filling out this form. It’s you and I think I’ve always known.

Gosh... your smile, your laugh, your humor, your love, and your care... you're the once in the blue moon.

Rach, I didn't love you romantically but I did love you. You hurt me more than any of the others. I have to let you go

I deleted the last memory today . It just popped up. I heard your voice one last time . I was angry cause I have deleted everything of you . But some how skipped that one . It still hurts . But it’s okay . healing takes a tremendous amount of time . I’m doing it silently . But it’s working . Good luck . With love always .

you have closed the door and that's okay, I just thought there would be a part of you that would want me in your life

no puedo dejar de amarte aunque mi corazon se rompa en mil pedazos, duele mas volverme a enamorar que arreglar un espejo roto

Did I ever matter to you, for you to have moved on to the next within a week, as if we didn’t happen?

You were the first girl I had a crush on, you're breathtaking and your presence makes me so happy I can't even explain. I'm sorry I wasn't brave enough to say something on the first day. It's too late now.