Unsent messages to PARKER

i still love you. and i know this is the shittest time possible for you. but you talked about how your old distant friend now new close friend has been flirty and i can’t take it. that’s why i get so defensive. i don’t want you getting hurt but also. i don’t know that i can sit here and watch you talk to one more girl. god after that one football game last year in september. yeah, last year, september, when you facetimed me after we had hung out at the game. it was like a flashback. when i was telling you about that thing that came up in my “one year ago today,” it was me talking about how much i missed you. it’s been going on for so long now and i was never good enough to you because i have the stupidest way of showing my emotions. but oh my god i think about you all the time. every time i watch national lampoons christmas vacation. every time i think about the song perfect by ed sheeran bc of one stupid car ride. every time i see your mom. every time i think about or see purdue or the browns or the red wings or wolves. or swim meets because of 8th grade going so i could see you. or baseball. all of that. and i know i broke up with you. but that’s because i felt pressure to do it, from people around me. i’m glad we both had that time away from each other to grow. and i am so thankful we reconnected because you are such an amazing person to have around. you are so caring and so compassionate and i honestly don’t know what i did to get someone like you in my life but i’m glad you’re here. and i know that you see me in a friend way, but i can’t help but to wonder if any feelings that aren’t friendship are still there. you were my first boyfriend, i was your first girlfriend. i don’t know maybe it was the way that you were able to just move on that got to me but i remember seeing you with kennedy that first time. jealousy. i was mean about it because i didn’t want to admit i was jealous. but i was. hell i still am. when you talk about talking to other girls even though i have no reason to get jealous because it’s been 2 years and it was my doing, i still get jealous. i think it’s because i’m still stuck on you and i don’t know why. i’ve had multiple talking stages. but i never keep the feelings. i always end up thinking about you and i know it’s stupid. i do. i get it. but it’s the truth. i think about your goofy ass self, how passionate you are, how genuinely sweet and caring, gentle in like a protective way, nice, funny, and just all around amazing you are. not to mention that i’m still so attracted to you (not that that matters). and you are insanely smart and talented and you care about school which is one of the things i love about you. the fact that you care about that stuff. you’re an insanely talented writer and i love how excited you get watching other people get into it when they read it. we’ve talked about how much i’ve changed as a person before and i’m so glad you noticed that because i was never as good to you as i should’ve been in the past. and i know this is really sudden and i don’t know if you ever got the vibe or notion that i might feel this way but yeah. and if you don’t feel the same way.... just say so. i can take it i promise. i’ve sat back and watched and been there as a friend for about a year now. i can keep doing it. and i want to. because if you don’t feel the same i don’t want this message to take any toll on our friendship. because i really do cherish it and i’m really glad we’ve gotten close again. but on the other hand. if by any chance you do feel the same in the slightest. please tell me. i don’t know where that leaves us. but please tell me. i just need to know if i overreact about stuff or if there’s any chance that you still have the slightest feelings for the girl you met in 8th grade. we’ve both changed a lot for the better. especially me, i’m more self aware now and can recognize how what i say can affect other people which i was terrible at back then. all this to say if there is any possibility that you’d think about giving me another chance please tell me. like i said i have no idea where that leaves us and i know this is a really weird vulnerable time for you and i want you to take as long as you need on this. i don’t want you thinking that i’m taking advantage of your situation either. it’s just not that you’re talking about this girl, i don’t wanna sit back and see you get with someone else and wonder “well what if i had said something?” you know? but just, think about it. once again, if you don’t feel the same, forget this message ever existed, and we’ll just stay good friends like we are. because i’d rather have you like that than not at all. but if you do feel a little bit the same, let’s talk about it. because i want you for worse or for better. no matter what, i love you ______ ________, even just as my friend. we’re always gonna have a special kinda bond even if that’s just as friends.

i wrote one of these for you a while back, completely blind. you didn’t give a fuck about me or my well-being. i wish you no ill-will, but i can’t say i’m not grateful that you’re not in my life anymore. i’m gonna find someone who has as much love for me as i for them.

i shouldn’t have stuck around after you treated me like that, but it’s whatever cause now it just feels normal to me. i’m used to it.

I am so unbelievably sorry for not being able to hold but I lost myself and I could hurt you or drag you down with me as I was already so far gone. I wish we could speak again I miss you every day and I love you with all my heart darling. You deserve the world of happiness I am so sorry I couldn’t give you that :( Thank you for easing the pain for awhile my love I will never be more grateful for that. No matter if we are strangers or not now you still mean the world to me I love you fannybrain x

Its been three years being seperated. Im in a happy committed relationship but I still think about you sometimes. How you're doing, how your life is, etc. I love my relationship and im very happy but it isn't the same as you. You hurt me so bad but I loved you so much. You were my soulmate, my first love. You broke me and it took me a really long time to get over it. It really hurt me but im happy now and I know my worth. I do miss you sometimes but I hope youre doing okay without me.

Watching you fall in love with my best friend was the hardest thing I could've gone through. At least you guys are happy now.

i still really like you even though it’s been 3 yrs... i should have waited for you and i’m sorry... i wish you would’ve given us a chance

I never felt so strongly about a person the way I felt about you. And I wish that I could've been courageous enough to really sit down and tell you the way I felt about you. I'm not sure if it was love but I used to pray for you every night like you were family. now all you do is show up in my dreams and hold me. You're the reason I can't go without hugs, i'm just steadily chasing after the way yours felt.

u said that God put me in ur life and I guess I thought that meant I was supposed to stay. u were my strongest feeling

i miss the person you used to be, so much. i don't know who you are now and it took me a couple years to realize you weren't the same. yesterday was your birthday and i'm proud of myself for not texting you. I just wish you never changed.

You shattered my heart, but you also taught me what being in love feels like, and I'll forever be grateful for you.

You made me realize what a toxic person was, and I want to stop being friends, but I can't do that to you

I should move on from you. We were never something yet its hard to get you out of my mind. We never even spoke to each other but its still hard. This is the last goodbye

u treat me like shit everyday and dont realise how much u tear me down and hurt me, and even though ur so toxic i still love u constantly.

It really hurt to see you leave and find someone new so fast.. I doubt you’ll come back, but it be nice if you did..

too much time has gone by. its sad. we are getting old and now I have to grow without you. we used to be so in love. so in love. I hope you're happy.

I can't believe I still miss you sometimes. You've moved on, but so am i now. I hate it but there will always be a part of me in you.

why'd you have to leave me all alone in this cold world? i miss you. i wish you were here to tell you it'll all be okay. but you were taken just too early

why do you never say sorry? i’m always changing myself for you and i never get shit in return. i trust you but obviously you can’t do the same back.

fuck you. you hurt me over and over and I hate you for it but somehow every time I see you or talk to you im weak. fuck you because I love you.

I love you actually, I was confused for a moment but right when I clicked submit I realized it was deeper than that but like I said you don't have to love me back because its no matter in used to it haha anyways if you ever see this how are your cosplays? Dm me in 20000 years :>
By A or K
P.S, im still confused about my gender so that's my boy name and girl name hehe

I like you alot, I know I don't like me back but that's okie I'll still luv ya tho friend :>
わたしは、あなたを愛しています

i'll never forget the color of your pretty blue eyes. they've always lit up when you smiled, although that wasn't too often.

I’m sorry I left you without a warning. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you I love you when I had the chance.

when you left i wanted to leave too. i was so hurt and i let you keep hurting me by forgiving you every time you came back. but what you don’t know is that the more i forgave you, the less i loved you at the end of the day. i slowly fell out of love and quickly forgot how to love. theres a saying, it says the day he loves you the most, you won’t love him at all. and im sorry park but i don’t love you anymore. im not inlove with you anymore and it feels great. but because of you i can’t love anyone.

i can't let go, idk if i'll ever be ready to. maybe that's a sign we'll meet again. i love you forever parky:(

i hate how we're strangers now. and the way i talked about you too, i was so certain. it's all gone now tho and for what. i'll love you always parky. :(

I know you are probably tired and burnt out by now. I know you are talented and wonderful. Keep on keeping, man. I got you.

in the years i’ve known you, i’ve grown to love you, so much. thank you for being my best friend through it all. i love you. maybe more than a friend? i’m not sure. but i know i love you, and i care about you, and you mean the entire world to me.

You mean so much to me, but I don’t mean a thing to you anymore. Please come back. I think about you every second of every day.

I miss you but i’m scared to tell you that. i care about you a lot and i’m sorry i can’t show that to you i’m just worried you won’t like me

I used to think I just liked the idea of you but I’ve come to realize I love all of you. Proud of who you’ve become.

i still think about you after over a year. you destroyed me. i gave you all i had to give and you took but gave nothing. i wish i never met you.

just realized u gave me the same necklace u gave ur ex gf. what the fuck?? also you're a shitty person, fuck you :)

i still love you, but fuck you for cheating. and fuck you x2 for staying with her & lying to me about taking a step back from her. i would have moved mountains for you.

They say your heart belongs to the one you look for in a crowded room. I always looked for you, did you ever look for me?

I should’ve stayed up to tell you I loved you. It hurts thinking we will probably never have another chance together.

The first time we met it went awfully wrong, but I was actually trying to be kind to you and you realised that. Later you apologised to me and we became friends. I'm sorry for the wait now.

I know that we are better as friends but it still hurts not being able to tell you how I really feel.