Unsent messages to NAT

I'm so glad I finally found you
You are my favorite person

i would still pick you in a room full of people, i guess the first love never leaves you

it’s getting a lot warmer now and that reminds me of you.

I hope to be a better me before it’s to late. i hope no matter what we remain friends til the end

Y are you giving me mixed signals? Do you like me or am I overreacting? I think I like you Im scared

I miss you. You’re half my soul. Happy Valentine’s Day. I still have your ring.

i think i’ll always love you but i dont know if i can ever tell you that

I wish you stayed.

you have been the greatest addition to my life & i am so grateful i get to call you my best friend

I just want to know that you’re okay. I miss you. Please come back.

I love you so much, i pray every day that we never drift apart.

i wonder if there was ever a time where you liked me back

My beating heart belongs to you.

im sorry i let it get to this point.
ily and i always will. even if you dont feel the same.

Thanks for walking home with me today.

Maybe in another life.

Prettiest girl I’ve ever seen, I want you so bad.

I can’t stop thinking about you. I love you so so much.

I’m too afraid to make the first move

I know you want her more than me, so just leave.

I still think about you every day. I wish we still lived in the same city. Im sorry, i miss you <3

I don’t understand how you can constantly lie to me instead of telling me the truth

I’ve never felt more at ease than in your arms

i hope for us to reconnect in the future

i wish we could be like before but ik it won’t happen

Sometimes I catch myself missing you.. especially your laugh.. just sayin..

I don’t understand how you expect us to be friends after everything you’ve put me through.

i love you but i never want to see you again

i want everything we never had

i hate that you don't even care anymore, so i'm letting go too.

i admire u a lot :)

I love you always

i’m so worried about you

idk what to do, i miss u

i will love you forever even if it gets bad

your beautiful boy is still waiting for you to come back to him

i love you, here is the only place i can say that

Hi nat! I love you so much my dear

i’ll always love you

I love you

i'm mad, but i still miss you.

there have been so many of these that i've typed and then discarded because i dont know how to put it in words or even if you care about me in that way anymore. (also im so sick right now and im not sure if my mind is working.) but nat you are still the love of my life, every time i see a message from you or get on a call, i feel butterflies. i check my phone 10 times a day just to see if u texted. i think about you constantly. i daydream about things that we could have still done if i werent 12,500 km away. you are the single most special person in the entire world and u deserve every bit of love and happiness. the only thing im worried about is that im not able to make u as happy as other guys can. ive said this to you countless times but every day i woke up in bh i would think, how can i make nat happy today? that is the 100% truth. i love seeing you smile and i genuinely want u to feel like the beautiful girl you are. and when i say beautiful i mean it in the truest sense. some girls are hot but they dont have a personality. you nat, are hot but you also have a personality that is unmatched by anyone ive talked to before. so when i say youre beautiful i mean in every sense of who u are. 'cute' doesnt even cover it enough.

if another guy in bh is making u happier, its a bittersweet feeling for me. on one hand, its sad to see ur love go to someone else, but on the other hand that man has the privilege of making the most adorable girl in bahrain happy.

sorry i droned on and on and some parts are kinda cringey but at the end of the day thats how i feel. i really wish there were some magic words i could say that would make u understand how deeply i care for u.

p.s this marks one month since the rooftop

i want to be better for you. i wanna be a girlfriend you can be proud of, just like how proud i am to call you my girlfriend. i want a chance to stargaze with you and laugh at stupid shit and play video games and live in a cottage with you with a cow that we decide to call theresa may and a falcon that we call lil mamas. as well as a cat that i’ll probably name maggie thatcher. obviously not because we like those people at all, but because it would be incredibly funny to have people over and to address our pets by names of tory prime ministers who’s graves we would piss on. i will always love you, i promise

i never thought anybody would love me the way you do and so wholly and fully. you make me feel so comfortable and loved and cared for; it’ll be worth waiting for us to be able to see one another in person again, we’re staring at the same stars tonight and that makes me smile. i love you, nathalie. you’re far better than you give yourself credit for.

the way you are handling things right now upsets me, but it reminds me of why the relationship would’ve never worked out in the end regardless of how it went down. you have a lot of growing up to do

i understand you need time to heal. but if your version of healing is dismissing our entire relationship and hating me just because it ended, i think you’ll find in a few years you did not heal all that much. i thought we were gonna be friends after this, but i don’t think you’re mature enough to let that happen, it’s just easier to act like I ruined your life.

why is it easier for you to look at our memories together and associate them as bad just because we aren’t together anymore? i never gave so much of myself to someone in my life and you still pity yourself bc i finally did something for myself and ended the relationship.

and if something bad happens to me, how will it feel knowing you blocked me online for literally no reason just because you can’t handle that we broke up?

I loved you and I think you wanted to love me but didn’t know how. I wonder a lot if things are different in another time and place. Don’t forget me, please.

it's been almost 2 months since we broke up and you still have not left my mind. i think about you so much that sometimes i feel guilty, like maybe i shouldn't be thinking about you because we're not together anymore. but i still do. i wonder about how you're feeling and what you're doing and if you've moved on and if you're happy. sometimes i pretend we're still together because the reality of us not being is so fucking painful. i reread our old letters and act like they're not old. i miss you so much sometimes i don't even know what to do with myself. there's still so many things i want to tell you and so many questions i wanna ask. i miss our questions and our long conversations and everything about you. i look for you in everyone and everything but no one is you. i'd give anything to talk to you again. and a lot of the time, i wonder if you feel that way too. i know you're not coming back but deep down i'm constantly hoping you will. every time i get a text i hope it's from you. maybe that's pathetic and embarrassing but i just can't stop myself. some days it feels like i'll always be waiting for you to come back. and it hurts so much. but besides all that depressing shit, i hope you are happy. and i truly mean it. you deserve so so much happiness. i hope life is gentle with you and that maybe one day we end up meeting in a little coffee shop or maybe somewhere in europe. i'll always be here for you. take care