Unsent Messages

it's been almost 2 months since we broke up and you still have not left my mind. i think about you so much that sometimes i feel guilty, like maybe i shouldn't be thinking about you because we're not together anymore. but i still do. i wonder about how you're feeling and what you're doing and if you've moved on and if you're happy. sometimes i pretend we're still together because the reality of us not being is so fucking painful. i reread our old letters and act like they're not old. i miss you so much sometimes i don't even know what to do with myself. there's still so many things i want to tell you and so many questions i wanna ask. i miss our questions and our long conversations and everything about you. i look for you in everyone and everything but no one is you. i'd give anything to talk to you again. and a lot of the time, i wonder if you feel that way too. i know you're not coming back but deep down i'm constantly hoping you will. every time i get a text i hope it's from you. maybe that's pathetic and embarrassing but i just can't stop myself. some days it feels like i'll always be waiting for you to come back. and it hurts so much. but besides all that depressing shit, i hope you are happy. and i truly mean it. you deserve so so much happiness. i hope life is gentle with you and that maybe one day we end up meeting in a little coffee shop or maybe somewhere in europe. i'll always be here for you. take care