you wanted to admit me to a psych ward and from there it seemed like my whole world was ending but you didnt believe me so i had to do what i did

Im like a little gay... like not to put labels on it, but I seriously don't care what the gender of who I will be with is. and for me its just about a feeling. you will never know! even if you ask me ill deny it, cuz I don't want to break your hearts. in 80 years if you're still around ill tell you. or if we meet in the afterlife ill tell you then to and at that point I think you'll understand there is more to life than who you love yk. I love you stay alive for me even if you can't love the real me.

when i was younger u were the things i wished to never become, i promised to myself i wouldnt become an alcoholic, to never drink... yet here we are, im not an alcoholic but i do believe im on that path. i know what u put us thru and the pain i felt throughout my turbulent childhood i dont want my future kids to feel that, yet i dont know if i had the strength, mom ik u say things bc ur projecting but sometimes it still hurts, i wish i wasnt this sensitive, dad ik it hurts u to see me like this but idk what to say i wish i could show u my love but i cant. our love isnt like that, but i really do love u sm even after everything, ur my dad above all else, i love u. so much. i love u both. why am i crying while typing this. when i sober up i hope i don’t remember this bc ik ill cringe reading this.
i love u.