Unsent messages to LEAH

I hope you miss me the way i miss you one day.

i have not gone a day without thinking about you in the past 3 months. i miss you

i really would do anything for you to love me back.

i hate that i will always think of you

I will always be in love with you, No matter how much you hurt me. I wish u'd come back. I love you.

you’re my best friend and ily but please leave him alone. it hurts

i'll forever miss what we had leah :(

I shouldn't have gotten mad at you at all. I'm so sorry. I miss you.

I literally am inlove with u but I don’t think you’ll ever want me

please stay away from my boyfriend.

you deserve the world

i hate how i forgive you yet you don’t forgive me.

i miss u. u were my best friend :(

If you asked me out I would 100% say yes.

I love you baby please don’t leave me.

i miss my bestfriend.

i hate the fact that i can't hate you or forget what you did

I never understood how you could just forget everything.

if I could take back meeting you, I would

I’m sorry I took too long to try fix us.

I still think ur cool :))

you mean so much to me idk what i would do without you

i feel so lucky to have you in my life. you’ve made it so much better ever since you came into it. i love you forever and always

Ur not my first love but you were my friend. We never would have worked out but I just wanted to say I'm really really sorry.

I wait for the day we meet, so please don't leave this world. I've only felt real friendship with you. I felt real connection and understanding with you. wish you well and love you unconditionally

Relief never came after you. All that I used to believe was true--about the world, about love, about good and evil, about you, about myself--it's gone.
I will never be the same again, and I grieve my past innocence.
I still wish we had been meant for each other.
Choosing between our relationship and my wellbeing is the hardest thing I've ever done.
I hope Eleanor is enough for you.

You are my best friend but you’ve hurt me so many times and you always make me believe that it was my fault.

I'm sorry I couldn't stop you in the end. I would have done anything to keep you alive but it doesn't matter anymore I guess. I hope you're happy now. I want you to know that I'm doing okay, I know you wanted me to move on and forget you. I'll never forget you, I loved you more than anything that exists and that will never go away, but I have moved forward with my life. I made a promise to live for the both of us, and I am doing just that. When I die we will meet again and I can tell you about all the wonderful things I experienced for the both of us.

i understand being scared, so was i, we had both been in tough relationships. i think the build up definitely played a part for us both, it was nothing we’d experienced before and we were excited. i understand your second guessing, so did i, we’re pessimistic people who always think the worse and that was perhaps our biggest fall down. that fact you kept coming back showed that not only did you care but also that you were unsure of the situation, i just always hoped for the best. exactly and if you found it confusing, imagine how it left me feeling constantly second guessing myself. i do deserve an apology and i do appreciate it. i know i cared for you more than any of the others but i never felt the prettiest and it always felt like that was more important to you. it’s weird because in some ways you did make me love myself more and now, more than ever, i know my worth and what i’m capable of. i know your stuck and not able to understand it either otherwise you wouldn’t of called and you wouldn’t of been posting and checking on here, maybe one day you’ll accept yourself and ur actual feelings. i’m worthy of a lot of things and i know that but i do wish you still had our messages so you could read back and see some of the horrible things you’ve said to me over time which would have made be believe otherwise. life’s too short to hold resentment and anger so i don’t hate you but i will never forgive you for some of the shit i went through at your hands. i do wish you the best and i hope you can stop worrying so much about what others think and actually be you, the you i know you can be. i promise to love myself and i hope you look after yourself too.

i will never hate you but the way you spoke me was unacceptable and i’ll never forgive you for the things you called me. you’re right, i did do everything for you, i gave you all that i had, i told you everything and you used it against me, hurting me more and more until i felt numb. i understand because i got fed up of us too. i chose not to put myself through that anymore, if i wasn’t enough after all that time i was never going to be but i know i’m worth so much more and i’m deserving of the love i give out to others. i understand you’ve been through a lot, i know more than anyone but i never gave you a good enough reason or excuse for you to treat me like you did. i do hope someday you realise the lasting effect you’ll have on me from now on, i am always going to question whether someone is serious about me or whether they’re ashamed of me. i really loved you and tried to do all that i can to make sure you weren’t alone and that you ate and slept and you really did just not give a shit, i would sit there crying and you wouldn’t shed a tear sometimes. i’m glad your grateful and i do hope you flourish and someday realise that feeling all emotion isn’t a bad thing and rather, it’s actually quite beautiful. take your time, stay hydrated.

thank you. you are the reason that i figured out who i am, even though you don't know that. i still remember sitting next to you in math class and trying to figure out if i wanted to be you or date you.

Fuck you fuck you fuck you. All you ever did was hurt me and even when I tried to get away you stuck your claws deep into my back and you dragged them as far down as you could. All I ever wanted was to be happy with you but you are a soul sucking demon. We never could’ve made it. No matter how hard we tried it was fucking pointless. It’s all pointless. I loved you so much I didn’t want to let you go. But in the end I wasn’t really letting you go was I? I was running away from you. And i’m still fucking running I don’t think i’ll ever stop. Because you have ruined me entirely. It’s funny how one person can do that, ruin you. Just one person can dig so deep into your head and plant the worst things that never ever fully go away. You are a weed that just keeps fucking growing in the sidewalk that is my head. No amount of weed killer can get you out can it? Of course not. It never has been able to. You’re apart of my history now. And nothing can change that.

Thank you for teaching me what a real friend was thank you for the joy you brought.and I know your not stable mentally and I know you are taking time but I’m trying to be here for you please let me be here for you

I realized my feelings a little too late and I don't know if we will ever speak again, but just know your very important to me.

leah anzaldo, if you ever see this i just wanna let you know, FUCK YOU DUMB HOE, jk jk i love you so so much

you hurt. a lot. more than you’ll ever know. but i’m so thankful for who you allowed me to become, and there’s no way we could be the friends we are now if you hadn’t allowed me to work through the pain i was in. i want nothing but the best for you.

looks like i was never ur sunflower after all. i would never wish the hurt u caused me on u so stay well, keep eating and hydrated.

whenever u miss me, remember u had me and lost me. i did nothing wrong, i was there for you in ur worst times whilst u caused mine.

Cuz here’s the thing, to know how it ends and still begin to sing it again. As if it might turn out this time, I learnt that from a friend of mine..

Don't think I don't know what you have done when we were an item. I have already given you 2 chances.

i'm in love with you. and i think i always have been since we became friends. i've just been too scared to say anything. and i don't think i ever will, i don't wanna ruin our friendship

it's gonna hurt so bad if you leave me. You're either gonna be the girl i marry or the girl who makes it impossible to love again.

idk ive liked u 4 kinda a long time? since maybe last year, but we werent rlly friends til like this year. anyway i dont think think ull look here but if u do lolz hihi u prob know who i am, but um idk bc it seems like u dont rlly like me sometimes? but then others u do i genuinly dont even know- anyway yupp um byebye i hope and dont hope u c this !!

you mean so much to me that it hurts and i’m terrified of how you make me feel but i dont think i have the courage to tell you

i dont even think you know how much you broke me. you're toxic. I wish to myself every night that I don't come running back to you, but half of the time it always ends like that.

you hurt me before anyone else could. you keep saying that there's so much wrong with me, but little do you know you were the one who caused those problems.

You went from being my 11 pm thot to my 11 am thought. I still can't sleep without holding the pillow and imaging its you

I wish you could understand what I’m going through. Its so difficult I don’t wanna live anymore. I’m sorry

You were one of my first best friends. Not a first love, but you broke my heart the same. So cruel for no reason, but I guess that's what high school girls are like.

You lied to me. I would have forgiven you for everything- how horribly you treat him - lying to get what you don’t deserve- you were a home to me and I thought I owed you something. I can’t even think about you without feeling sick. I miss you but I hate you.