Unsent Messages

i understand being scared, so was i, we had both been in tough relationships. i think the build up definitely played a part for us both, it was nothing we’d experienced before and we were excited. i understand your second guessing, so did i, we’re pessimistic people who always think the worse and that was perhaps our biggest fall down. that fact you kept coming back showed that not only did you care but also that you were unsure of the situation, i just always hoped for the best. exactly and if you found it confusing, imagine how it left me feeling constantly second guessing myself. i do deserve an apology and i do appreciate it. i know i cared for you more than any of the others but i never felt the prettiest and it always felt like that was more important to you. it’s weird because in some ways you did make me love myself more and now, more than ever, i know my worth and what i’m capable of. i know your stuck and not able to understand it either otherwise you wouldn’t of called and you wouldn’t of been posting and checking on here, maybe one day you’ll accept yourself and ur actual feelings. i’m worthy of a lot of things and i know that but i do wish you still had our messages so you could read back and see some of the horrible things you’ve said to me over time which would have made be believe otherwise. life’s too short to hold resentment and anger so i don’t hate you but i will never forgive you for some of the shit i went through at your hands. i do wish you the best and i hope you can stop worrying so much about what others think and actually be you, the you i know you can be. i promise to love myself and i hope you look after yourself too.