Unsent messages to ITAI

You are my best friend and I hate to leave you but just know that I miss you the most

even if I don’t want us back. I wish you didnt hate me, or at least before this next summer

i still miss you even tho it’s been years and i live on the other side of the country. it’s not fair

I used to love the version of you that was in my head, finding out everything... i hate you now.

i know you don't know how you feel, nor are you capable of a relationship right now. everything was a non-starter between us. but most importantly, i know you would've chosen her in a heartbeat because you did exactly that in september. and i can't even explain to you in full the amount of trauma i have because of her because then it would just seem vindictive and selfish, and there's a reason i didn't do so a year ago. i wish we got to experience friends to lovers but it wouldn't have worked anyways. i don't think we can even still be friends. in two months ill tell you goodbye, forever.

i dont think you know how much id kill to be with you again. i miss you. your smiles, your laugh, your cuddles, everything. you were exactly who i wanted and yet i somehow wasnt enough for you. i want you to love me, and only me. and id give up everything for you to feel the same again. you gave me the will to keep going more the anything. you... were you. and that somehow was enough. you might not love me now, or ever. but ill love you forever. and ill always wait for you to come back, and pick me up in your arms like you used to. ill wait forever if i have to. but i dont think youd do the same.