I’m tired. Can you stop taking over my life. I need a breath of fresh air. A sign to keep on going. A break.

i think im about to lose control. i hurt my self and i dont think they now that. and i dont know who i am any more.

Recently I have been having a lot of bad days and the bad thoughts are always in the back of my mind. At night and during the day they are always worse and I can never really escape them. I feel as if everyday gets more and more dreadful and I am constantly tired no matter how much sleep I get. I feel a constant weight on my shoulders that gets heavier everyday. Its hard to get through the day now without breaking down but I have been doing ok recently during the day. Night is where it gets worse and I feel as if everything in my life is collapsing. Sometimes I just want to end the pain but at the end of the day, even though I feel alone constantly I know Im not and that there are people that love me. I feel like sometimes my friends don't believe me when I try and talk to them about it which upsets me but I try not to let it get to me. The days are long but I try and remind myself that the pain is temporary.

Deppression your killing me day by day. your making me fail school. you dont give me the energy i need. you dont let me get up out of bed in the morning. you dont let me take a shower or brush my teeth. you dont let me get up and go the bathroom. you show me im a dissapointment. YOU MAKE MY FAMILY THINK I DONT TRY. Your killing me and no ones knows it. your helping everyone destroy me and your making me destroy myself i want to start this year off good but instead you said No. why wont you let me do the things i wanna do. let me bring peace to myself and my mom. I'm so tired of my mom being worried to coming home to me on the floor overdoesed or slit wrist. let me be happy and healthy. let me be comfy in my own body you bring me so much pain and i want it to go awat. Thank you for reading

I used to joke about you when I was at my lowest. You made me seem better then ever. People never recognized that you've drowned me in the darkness. I had to hold my breath for so long that when I attempted, I really wanted to work. You're an evil thing that never truly leaves me alone but I have learned how to deal with you. I will never thank you for what you made me feel but the lessons you've taught me.

as shitty as you've made my life, as much as you've terrorized me, i'm scared to lose you. i only really remember life WITH you. how am i supposed to function without you? i hate you but i'm so attached that i'm scared to get better.