You don’t deserve all the pretty colours I associate you with. I am so fed up. This is my second time writing about you. I don’t ever want to lay my eyes on you again. I don’t ever want you to say my name again. I re-read your messages again. You’re so up your own ass. Sometimes I sit here and wonder if you really cared by the end. I sit here and wonder if I was only an aesthetic, only to serve you in making yourself feel better. I sit here today, unable to touch my dms still. I sit here still wondering, still pondering and melting away. You’re a terrible person, I know you’re not a good person. I know. I don’t want you to come up to me. I don’t want you to look at me. And in your parting words you threaten to hit me. I hate you. I hate all the aliases you use. I hate the way you put your interests above my own. You’re selfish. You’ve ruined songs for me. You took away my first love with your claws. You’re so selfish, you took away the boy I loved because you’re jealous and arrogant. You sent me into a panic attack that night. You took away what I cared about, for what? Your sick pleasure? You hurt and hurt, you damage and damage. And the fact that you blame everyone else but yourself is scarring. You’re not here with me today, not because I’m selfish, but because you are a toxic, manipulative, self righteous bitch. You watched as your stupid friend sent me into panics to many time to count. You laughed at me. You sat there and you laughed at me. You you you you you. No one else but you. You hit me. You hit me so many times. Did you know you gave me bruises? I never want to see you again. Don’t come up to me. Don’t give me anything. Just leave. Just leave like you always do when you do something wrong. I know that I was just your accessory. Something to make you seem “so accepting” You only accept lesbians and sometimes trans people. You encourage corruption. And if this is talkibg shit you can go and fuck yourself. You can go and fuck yourself Cecilliy. I wont get financially attatched to you. The difference between me and others is that material possessions and the like won’t affect my choices as much. You were my cry for help. The fact that this message is so long. The fact of the matter is. I hate you. I hate you Cecilliy. But now that I’ve left you I don’t seem to know what to do. I made sure I protected you in my own way. I’m not doing that anymore. I’m gonna talk about what you’ve done all I want. I’m gonna warn people about how you are until I die. Until you change. Because if theres one thing you didn’t think of. It’s my unwavering loyalty to those I care about. I will make sure you will never talk or hurt those I love, ever again. On my grave. Fuck you Cecilliy.

everything is so complicated between us and despite all of it i've still fallen head over heels for you

The fact that I have to find closure in songs instead of getting a proper apology for what you've done sickens me. You can't leverage my constant guilt against me to get what you want from me. The fact that you hate me for telling you what you've done to me. The way you stormed out of my life enraged because you can't handle what you've done to others. You're a monster. The way I have to try to find myself again because you tore me apart. I reread your messages all the time and wonder if you do the same. I hate you. I hate you I hate you. So why can't I get some goddamn closure from you, even after everything?

youre a really great person i hope yk that

if it’s really you, please reach out. i still miss you

it hurts you had to betray me that way. do you ever think about it?

I love you with all of my heart and soul truly.

I’m forgetting things about you I held so dearly I’m sorry hope you are well I miss you

the fall reminds me of us on my balcony, of linking arms. i miss you every day.

i’m waiting for you, whenever you’re ready. i love you, my bright star

you are so cool and so funny and great

way too quick but it’ll happen again

i love you, i’m too scared to say it but you’re such a ray of sunshine in my life

sorry i wasnt always a good friend. i regret alot. i wish i could go back and be a good friend 2 u

You are my first love, the one I will never forget. I hope you still think of me once in a while.

I heard half a song today and thought of you

I heard some pink floyd a while ago. it reminded me of us on the bus together.