Unsent messages to BENNY
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: February 28, 2024, 2:04 pm UTC
i wish you didn’t lie about wanting to be in my life forever
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: February 23, 2024, 1:48 am UTC
im sorry i couldnt make it to your funeral. i think about you every day.
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: February 21, 2024, 8:05 pm UTC
I loved you too early and you loved me too late…now we are nothing
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: February 16, 2024, 1:04 am UTC
You will always be my great love story. I miss you.
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: February 6, 2024, 5:34 pm UTC
you are my first love and i want you to be my last… i really like you and i hope you like me too :)
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: February 5, 2024, 8:46 pm UTC
You were my first love I’ll always remember you I still wish you didn’t walk away
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: January 22, 2024, 5:41 pm UTC
i think of you whenever i look up at the clouds. i wish it could've been me.
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: January 8, 2024, 4:48 am UTC
im finally over you its bittersweet and i think it will be forever but thats okay ily always friend
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: December 15, 2023, 6:43 pm UTC
last december we weren't talking cuz of me. this december its the other way round.
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: November 13, 2023, 1:35 am UTC
i miss you. i’m sorry for everything. i’ll always love you if you ever regret leaving.
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: November 12, 2023, 11:57 am UTC
Despite all that u did, I still catch myself thinking about u
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: November 12, 2023, 8:36 am UTC
i miss you all the time. i’ll never stop missing you, after everything we’ve been through.
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: November 2, 2023, 8:12 pm UTC
i think about you at times but i don’t miss you at all. thanks for the memories tho
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: October 30, 2023, 4:07 pm UTC
i'm struggling to but i'm trying to fix us
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: October 30, 2023, 12:39 pm UTC
i love you so much and i don’t think i can ever stop loving you
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: October 27, 2023, 9:06 pm UTC
hey um i don't think u'll ever appreciate me enough but i cant stop myself from wanting u that ok?
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: October 27, 2023, 8:49 pm UTC
ive got a huge crush on you. i hate how cocky you are. i love the way your eyes glow in the sun.
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: October 24, 2023, 1:34 am UTC
the girl that ends up with you is lucky. i wonder if you'll ever be good enough for me though. ily
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: October 17, 2023, 5:02 pm UTC
i wish you cared abt us the way i do. i cant believe u lied so much. what did i do?
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: October 17, 2023, 4:57 am UTC
You crushed my whole heart but I’ll always hold a place for you.
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: October 15, 2023, 5:21 am UTC
i had a dream and you kissed me and i never wanted to wake up
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: October 14, 2023, 4:07 am UTC
i do anything to make you happy, i wish you’d actually realise that
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: October 9, 2023, 6:07 am UTC
sometimes i want u in my bed. not like that but kinda like that
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: September 26, 2023, 8:04 am UTC
do you miss me the way i miss you?
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: September 20, 2023, 6:15 am UTC
i miss seeing your face and hearing your voice <3
wish we talked more
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: August 10, 2023, 9:15 am UTC
Thinking about you makes me feel ashamed on how I acted
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: July 27, 2023, 5:25 am UTC
I don’t want to feel like an idiot while chasing you
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: January 6, 2021, 3:12 am UTC
hey. you were my light. without you it is dark. i need you here. pls show me a sign. i need to know you're watching over me.
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: January 5, 2021, 12:19 am UTC
Hey.
As I'm writing, it's 5am on the 1st of January, 2021.
I just spent hours celebrating New Year's Eve with my friends. I didn't think of you anywhere in those times. It's only now, as I'm alone to sleep on the couch and I spotted your name on Spotify, that I go back to you and wonder where you are now. Who you are with. Who you are at all.
I miss you, but less than before. And I think I'm finally starting to resign to the fact that you don't want to talk to me anymore. After all, I want you to be happy in your life, and even though it makes me very frustrated that I cannot be in this picture at all, I must accept it. And as I'm starting this new year, I want to move on more than I ever did before. I pray that the moment where I'm finally completely over you comes soon enough. I'm ready.
There will still be tough moments coming, like all the painful memories of remembering what I was doing a year ago with you. Those will be coming for at the very least another six months, because this is a time of my life you marked more than anyone else. A year ago, you sent me the first text to wish me a happy new year. In like 20 hours from now, you'll call me just because you miss me and we'll talk quietly in the night of my house, feeling the happiness of seeing each other again in a few days. In 3 months, we'll say I love you to each other for the first time and you'll make me feel a happiness and comfort I never felt before and haven't since. In 3 months, we'll also have to separate again, which brought its own fair of struggles but also its happy moments; I'm still so sorry I couldn't live up to the bond we had, so sorry I couldn't trust what we shared. In 6 months I'll be coming to visit you, knowing as soon as I arrived that these moments I was living would be those I would later cling onto, realising even right In the moment that I would kill to relive them again in the next months of my life. In 7 months I will be thrown into the worst pain I ever felt and leaving you then losing you will be one of the main reasons.
It's over now, and I hope this is one of the last times I write to you. I want to let you go.
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: January 3, 2021, 4:15 pm UTC
i love you and i miss you so much but this is the way it has to be :(. I want to be with you so badly it hurts
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: January 3, 2021, 1:28 pm UTC
I hope you realize one day that I really loved you with everything I had. I hope you realize that no one loved you as much as I did/do-
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: January 2, 2021, 4:38 pm UTC
I meant it when I said: I hope we can take some time to become better persons for each other. I really meant it. I really wanted to be my best self for you. I really wanted us to find our way back together again. But somewhere along the way you left me alone on that road. I thought we promised to never lie to each other
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: January 2, 2021, 4:30 pm UTC
I hate it here. I hate how you made me blame myself for the end of us. I hate the sinking feeling. I hate how you told me that if only I came by your house after we broke up, that we could've still been together. I hate the anxiety you left me with. I hate it here.
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: December 23, 2020, 3:24 am UTC
in one of my birthday cards, you wrote "you and me, buds forever". I didn't realize that forever meant even in heaven. pls come back
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: December 23, 2020, 3:21 am UTC
hey, it's me again. you always bounced back after the hospital, why couldn't you do it one more time? I hope you're having fun up there. miss you.
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: December 20, 2020, 7:34 pm UTC
hey bubba, you were the best thing that happened to me. I am heartbroken that i have to live the rest of my life without you by my side. you were my best friend. I miss everything about you. heaven is lucky to have my angel. you will always be my big brother, even though I am now older than you were.
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: December 6, 2020, 8:16 pm UTC
tonight I'm sleeping in a room and I realized the last time I slept here was seven months ago, that night when we were on the phone and woke my sister up. can you come back now please because I can't do happiness without you
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: December 6, 2020, 7:09 pm UTC
you said we could catch up when I'm home for christmas like 2 weeks ago too. i think not anymore lmaoo. i really thought you were different.
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: December 6, 2020, 7:08 pm UTC
i cant believe i was crying over you 4 hours before you put a picture of another girl in your bed on your priv story - at least delete me off it first. fuck you
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: December 2, 2020, 1:49 pm UTC
Thank you for the way I make him feel well ovbi isn’t good enough if the fit can come sleep with a literal dead girl
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: November 25, 2020, 10:09 am UTC
my biggest mistake was making you my home. now you tore down the foundations and i have nowhere to go back to.
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: November 20, 2020, 1:04 am UTC
it's been three months since you left and I still miss you so much I cannot breathe sometimes. you are the stranger I love the most in the world.
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: November 19, 2020, 3:35 am UTC
please just show me your feelings for me please. ive waited so fucking long and i dont want to wait any longer
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: November 18, 2020, 7:37 pm UTC
In seventh grade, I had the biggest crush on you but when summer came I didn't talk to you because I didn't have snap yet. When eighth grade started I kind of forgot about you because we didn't have any classes together, well I told myself I forgot about you. When that whole thing was going on with J.D. I realized I was over you because I didn't care and I was happy for you, even though it didn't work out. But then you started snapping me more and more and then you started with the compliments and then you asked me out. At that point, I didn't really know how I felt about you so I said no and I found all of the flaws I could and I did that the other three times too. But there was one that was different. When you started dating K.A it felt a little odd. It's not that I wanted to date you but it felt like nothing had changed between us even though you had a girlfriend who happened to be one of my best friends. I didn't know what to do, and then you asked me out. What the hell. I hated you. You and K broke up after a while but I was still mad at you. If you are wondering yes I did tell her, sorry, I had to. But it has been a while and we are friends again and I'm glad we are. I just feel like I never know how to feel about you. You are very confusing B.G.F.
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: November 15, 2020, 11:08 pm UTC
Why is it that everytime i try to sleep the memories of you hit me? It's been three moth i've spend thinking about what went wrong and how i could've done better
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: November 15, 2020, 10:56 pm UTC
How strange is it that you once gave me warmth but now the only thing you feel is the cold earth you're burried under. And so I'm here all alone crying in the middle of the night leaving my only wish to just see you for one last time ungranted
From: ABC
To: benny
Date: November 15, 2020, 10:45 pm UTC
So I'm laying here in the middle of the night crying, wishing you were here again but knowing it's not possible
