Unsent messages to AMANDA

I’m sorry things ended the way they did, you were my best friend and I lost sight of that when everything happened. I’m sorry.

I wish you never turned on me. I wish you would stop telling me what to do. I wish you thought about how I was feeling instead of telling everyone. I wish you could've just listened to me instead of just assuming things. I wish you at least tried to help me. I wish you could start paying attention to me.

i wish youd invite me to that party on saturday lol but i know i shouldnt ask u to and i dont want to seem like a lapa idk
- you probably know who i am (p)

i'm in love with someone that you dated for literally days, but i feel like i can't move any farther with it because we are best friends and i think you'll hate me

Oh the way my heart smiles when I think of you. The rose lenses I wear, when I imagine a world with all the possibilities of us.

I wish I could see you again, and tell you that I love you. I still think that you are the love of my life. I hope I love that way again. I hope you love that way again too.

i love you. i should tell you more. i wish i could spend more time with you, i'm sorry i've been so preoccupied in college. i don't want to lose you.

I’m sorry I said I was unsure whether I loved you or not. How could I tell between all the new feelings?

ubby,

i never had the chance to fall out of love with you. you were my forever and i was your always. why did you sleep with her? why did you kiss her? what did i ever do to you? and you hate me, and i’m so sorry. i don’t know what the hell i did wrong. i miss you angel baby. i am hurting. i hate myself for wanting you back and having dreams of you nightly.
time and time again i’ll catch myself i praying that this is a dream; that you never really cheated on me. if you could take it back... would you? or are you happier with her? if you ever see this, know that i hope you’re happy. you will always hold a special place in my heart, even if we aren’t lovers anymore.

Hey. It's been 5 years. You still cross my mind. You seem happy, so I'm glad. I just wonder if I ever cross your mind.

your silence says more than any words ever could. i love you and everything you can't bring yourself to say

I don't think I'll ever be comfortable sleeping alone after knowing what it feels like to sleep with you in my arms.

I miss your smell.

honestly, fuck you. lying ass bitch I hope you get hit by a fucking bus. it should’ve been me. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. I hate you.

Hi, I really miss you. I overthink a lot about you, if you're shutting me out. Please call me soon. I care about you.

god i hate you so much. you stole him from me. ah...this hurts. you're so pretty. i look at your profile every.single.day. i think im obsessed with you. but i hate you...so why...

Lol this is a letter to me. This is a letter to myself because when I was 6, I admired you so much in the mirror. You treated yourself so well and you continue to strive to be the best that you can. I love you so much. You are so important, beautiful, and amazing. Push past the limits always and work hard. Love, be kind, and be caring. Keep in mind everything especially that Mama does for us. She loves you so much and you should do the same. Keep fighting for her. Love, Amanda.

Why are you doing this to me? One moment you make me think I have a chance and then another I think you hate me. Please stop leading me on. Please just tell me if you love me the way I have loved you for the past 3 years. If you don't, then please stop leading me on. It hurts too much.

i love you. i just dont know what to feel or how to feel it right now. i haven’t forgotten about you, please dont think that. i was gonna add a song to the playlist to represent this but this is more efficient lolz?. i still love you, yh xx tbh

i lied, i’m not over you. but i know it’s never gonna happen. i’ll have to live with that. i love you,
Ange

You showed me that you never loved me. I hope all the other people were worth it when you lied through our whole relationship.

I know you feel the same way i do. We both know it. I admire you and ill always will be by your side. I adore u lover, friend

I’m your best friend, but I’m hopelessly in love with you. I’d leave anyone for you, just say the word.

I’m your best friend, but I’m hopelessly in love with you. I’d leave anyone for you, just say the word.

I wish you could just see that I like you more than a friend but you would never like me back since you’re straight.

I wish I could tell you how I feel. I know it would ruin our friendship, but I really, really love you.

i think im in love with you. you’re one of my best friends and i always try and seek out your approval, even tho i sometimes think you hate me.

You made me want to live again. I don't think I had ever loved anything until I met you. I gave up so much of myself chasing you, I'm still not okay but I learned so much from you. I do not think I can ever love anyone as much as I loved you, and that is okay. I just want you to know you are the most internally beautiful person I have ever met. That even though I spiraled out of control when I lost you, the hope of meeting someone half as spectacular keeps me here. I wish you gave me closure still, but what I want more than anything is the best for your happiness even if that does not include me ever again. Just know I love you always ;(

I have so much love for you which I will never regret, but sometimes I wish I didn't love you more than what u love me