Unsent messages to ALLIE

i miss you sm. things arent the same as you know. my days without you are now boring with no laughter, it quite and i hate it. i got no sleep last night and i havent slept for days because i have to be on the phone with you and honestly i dont even think my brain works right when i dont talk to you. you bring out the better person in me and i just wish we could see eachother (even though i saw you 4 days ago) you're my best friend and even dad misses you. i miss your big ass forehead on the screen of my phone. things are gonna get better tho and i promise you we are leaving as soon as we can. dad and i are even looking at vans and cars rn. ily best friend and always will :) - Butt scratcher

Every time you say you love me my heart breaks a little. I know you don’t mean it the way I want It to.

not my first love, but the first person who really understood me. we will have our moment one day. -christmas lights and pizza

I can't wait to distance myself from you, I think that's the only way I can handle you. You are so exhausting to love, because I have to love you more than I love myself

When you completely erased my existence from your life that hurt. I hope you know that. I hope you care. But I know you don't.

I still think about you and wonder what I did that made you leave me with no explanation at all even 3 years later

i'm sorry i chose her. i wish i could go back in time and choose you, and i wish i could just talk to you again. i love you.

Hello
No, we shouldn't talk. I'm afraid of you. Your dragon ripped my throat out in a mess of screams. I can't speak or breathe. I can't make it okay. IM FUCKING DYING ALLIE. I'm so angry and hurt and the feeling that I'm drowning hasn't left. I wanna drown, I wanna scream so loud you can hear it reverberate off the moon. I want my screams to send shock waves through the ground and cause a fucking earthquake. I want it to rip the very place I stand so I can live in hell but in peace. I painted the night sky on your back. I GAVE YOU MY SKY. I gave you everything I was in love with you. For your information, I haven't found anyone willing to treat me the way I deserve. You taught me I am more than lies and empty promises. You warned me, I wish I listened. I wanna fucking rip myself apart. You can't take away things I learned about myself when I stayed in your castle locked away. I will always be my own Marcy I will always be my own Bubblegum I will be my own moon I am still Pacific Kai. YOU CAN NOT TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME. I don't miss you or hate you don't get it twisted. I just wish I could erase you from my history. I wish we never met and I mean that. Thank you, I am much more confident without you. I am coping with everything in different ways now. I rebuilt myself into someone you've never kissed or touched or loved. I am so much more than the moon now. I do not owe that to you though I owe that to myself. Thank you for tearing me in places I didn't even understand because I am now someone who is confident and proud. I am still mourning the loss of Bumblebee and Margaret but I'm living the life of Pacific Kai and it is amazing and it is without you. Expect more from
The moon
Bumblebee
Artemis
The one the only Pacific Kai

I haven't been on here in so long so I've went back and read the ones about me. Look, I never once told her to not talk to you, I am not the one to control anyone and who they want to talk to. She just could tell it bothered me from what Kai said so she stopped for my sake. She said it didn't matter anyways and I felt bad for it but she said it would be okay, thats it. I'm also not trying to be like you in any way, although ive always looked up to how you look, I am my own person and how I look and act has nothing to do with you. But I love her with every fiber of my being, and it is all in my own way, it again has nothing to do with you. And even if you wouldn't have hyped me up to her, we would have fallen in love anyways. How it happened AGAIN had nothing to do with you. I'm not a bad person Allie. I'm just trying to make it by with the girl I love in peace, im tired of all this drama. So just leave it be, why can't you ever just let it be?

i am really sorry. i wish we were still friends. i wish i would have never blamed everything on you. i wish that i could tell you everything the right way but i know you don´t want anything from me. i wish you would text me and we could fix everything but i know that is not even an option anymore. i wish we were still friends. i miss you.

I hope you get everything you deserve. You deserve the world. I love you and everything is everything.

I knew you weren't my soulmate but I really wanted you to be. We're too young. I'll be there for you forever

why did you do this. there was no reason for you to do this. i did nothing. i was there for you. but you chose your boyfriend instead. it really hurt but i guess some bonds just fade away. well i just wanted to say thank you for everything but ig this is a goodbye.

I’m sorry for everything that happened. I tried my best. I gave it my all. I cared. I used to not care until I met you. But you were always so wishy washy with me. You hurt me in ways I never thought I could hurt. And I hate it. But I still talk to you. Often. And I have hopes it can work but I almost don’t want it to. Idk what it is. But I still feel like I need to keep you in my life. Or I need to be in yours. It’s so hurtful though. And I wish things could go back to how it was. I love you.

I’m sorry for everything that happened. I tried my best. I gave it my all. I cared. I used to not care until I met you. But you were always so wishy washy with me. You hurt me in ways I never thought I could hurt. And I hate it. But I still talk to you. Often. And I have hopes it can work but I almost don’t want it to. Idk what it is. But I still feel like I need to keep you in my life. Or I need to be in yours. It’s so hurtful though. And I wish things could go back to how it was. I love you.

I hate you. Simple as that. You ruined how I feel about the people around me. And I will forever hate you for that.

I wish you wouldn't have left. otherwise, id still like you. not this kid whos across the county who I don't know. now I'm crying about him. I love him tho.