Unsent messages to ZAIN

Please be kinder than he was to me.

i hope i can be your girlfriend

I love youu the most

I thought you were over me.

love u stinkbutt

let’s try again. so ahem basically i said that i missed you :(

never meant.

I really hope it works out. But i'm not the person u think i am and i pray that u never find out. I love you

you broke me, but i’d do anything for you, i wish things went back to the way they were. i hope you still love me the way i love you

I know you cheated on me and you tried to gaslight me and make me feel like I was crazy but I realised I never actually liked you but I needed validation.. because I wanted to get over the previous guy I use to see. And I know I can do so much better than you

if the truth is real, and a lie is fake, then what were we? at times i find myself thinking about that and reminiscing on all the time we actually did spend together. even though it felt like i had loved you forever, the reality is that my love for you had only lasted a second. the only second i really gave my time and attention to. even though we didn't work out and we're no longer talking, the sound of your voice and the pitch of your laugh is trapped inside of my head. i'm hear but i know i wont go back. tempted to talk to you and even more tempted to delete every track of you that i may have. my sunshine. the life we had planned and the dreams that we had hoped to achieve together. even though i was never able to physically show you my love, i feel as if you were someone that really should've gotten that. or at least i thought so. you ruined my sight on love, you ruined the holidays, but most importantly you ruined me. i no longer look at myself the same, and the worst thing is that i know you knew i was sad. you knew i was sad but you still left. that second of my time was not wasted, i don't regret loving you but if i could've done it better to make you stay, i would in a heartbeat. stay safe and i hope everything works out for you. i hope you and your family all continue to stay safe and i hope everything you have ever wanted works out. i'm stepping back. removing myself. i never wanted to hurt you or put you through a tough time, i know i'm a difficult person and that things aren't easy with me but i wanted you to stay. even though i was very sick, i know that the healthiest part of me loved you. regardless of where i was, what i was feeling, anything at all, i was mesmerized by you. you always told me i never had to worry about you leaving and then when i least expected it, it happened. i don't blame you. i just wished you would've helped. but times change and people grow, maybe this is the door to my growth, maybe you were one of my 'challenges' and this is just that pain after its done and over. new times and new lives. thank you for everything.

hey, i haven't heard from you in what feels like eons, i miss you. all i want to know is that if you're okay.

i still think about you a lot because i never told anyone those things. i miss the closeness we shared last summer. that was the best summer of my life but i had a lot of growing up to do. i wish i never said we couldn't be friends.

I’m sorry it took me so long to realise how much I was in love with you. Deep down, I think I always will be....

You made me feel special when I didn’t even know it myself...I will always hold a special place in my heart for you

I am over it now. I never though I would be, but I am. I forgive you. But I hope it was worth losing me.

Funny story rmbr back in May when you said you had to talk to me over ft i thought that you were moving to Cali Bc your dad passed the bar ? not Bc you wanted to break up with me ?

you liked me you gave me compliments but i didnt like you back and now you have moved on and i cant stop thinking ab u and i hate that ur thinking ab her and i honetsly have no fucking clue what to do