This is to myself. I have been through a lot and I am so vulnerable. It’s so hard not to feel like I’ll never be happy again. Everyone keeps telling me I’m going to be okay and this was the best thing for me, but it still hurts. But you need to keep going. I’m so proud of you for seeking out resources and hopefully you can work towards being happy and healthy.

ah you really do always know what to say. i really am such a lucky person to have the privilege to know you like this. (and unfortunately you know me and this is unfortunate because i just spent 2 minutes trying to figure out how to spell privilege until i finally searched it up. attempts included but were not limited to: privelege, privlege, prilege, privlge, privylege. i told you i was bad with words.)

hey, u very very nice and fun to talk too, I like playing Roblox with you, yes, also btw irelands are pretty cool, also yes, and ur Roblox clothes look very good.

You saved me but you probably don’t know that. You mean so much to me but I can’t express it to u and I can’t put it into words so it frustrates me. Your smile, laugh, eyes, hands, kiss, cuddles, just everything about you is perfect to me and it makes me sad that u can’t see that. Ur the prettiest girl I’ve ever laid eyes on. You deserve better and deserve the whole entire universe. Every time I’m with you it feels like I can finally calm down and be myself. When you laugh, hug me, or kiss me it feels like it’s just you and me, no one else. You feel like home when I’m in your arms. The warmth and safety I feel is something someone other than you can never make me feel. You actually know me it’s scary. Because what if you leave me. You should see the way I talk abt you to others. I’m so in love with you. I know we’re young but I want to marry you one day. I love you beb

i feel as if you’ve lost interest in me. you stopped texting me, you’ve told me many times that i scare you, or you’re afraid of me, but all i want to do is love you.

I really really wanted to hold your hand in the mall. I couldnt focus on what we were supposed to be doing

You're way too smart for me. Everything you say is perfect, which is why you’ll never love me back. But you still say “I love you”. I guess it’s in a platonic way. I’ll wait for you, though. Even if it’ll never happen.

fuck you. deadass fuck you. like i really cannot believe you were about to introduce INTRODUCE. me to this bitch and you sitting here retweeting shit about who about what i don’t trust you. fuck allat it’s all dead as fuck. you really tried it. fuck that and i hope she plays the fuck out of you and you end up heart fucking broken. and fuck you for ever making me feel like i amounted to anything. fuck you. on some real fucking shit. fuck you and fuck that big face ass bitch.

I’m sorry I never told you but I love you and it hurts you don’t feel that I know you don’t because I can see the confusion in your eyes when you catch my gaze you can’t understand the way I feel but I still feel it

Heyyy you’re making me question my sexuality because i’d literally only go gay for you. no one else. i just can’t help it, you’re so amazing and beautiful and ajgjjj be j as kcjaj k sometimes you give off the vibe that you feel the same way so i don’t know what to do mann.

ur laugh and :) lights up the room...u are the 1 person who can make me :) in my darkest times. i will love u 4ever.

i sometimes stay up and wonder if you actually liked me, or if i was just the first person to show you affection...

I think i've fantasized a life with you almost 365 days, yet you've never once taken a second to think about me

I'm here, again, why couldn't it be me and you, not you and her. I'm so tired of feeling like this its slowly chipping away at me

why do you do this to me, every year at the time my mind is in the worst place, you walk out and replace me.

why am i the one to always apologize, when it's you who's done me wrong everytime, but you know i can't live without you

ever since i met i don’t know but you really changed something in me you gave me a future to look forward to. A future with you, a future i can truly be happy in. i love you sooooo much sydney it’s kinda bad how clingy i am and i hope it’s not to much for you to handle this is my first and hopefully my last relationship i hope that i can jus turn around in the bed and see you my wife right next to me. please don’t ever leave and if you somehow come across this jus know what we have now i want forever. I want to get a place with you build a lil family with you jus do stupid shit together with your goofy ass just having fun and at the end of the day we jus cuddle and do cute shit all night i love you

Hey, I searched my name and saw a message. I don't even know if it was you but I think I wanted it to be. Maybe it's a coincidence and some other Sydney said it but if it was you...I used to love you and I'm sorry for everything I never said.

I’m sorry we stopped talking for the summer. If we hadn’t stopped, you never would have met her and fallen in love. Maybe we could still be in love if not for that summer.

I’m sorry we stopped talking for the summer. If we hadn’t stopped, you never would have met her and fallen in love. It could be us now if not for that summer.

You are so beautiful. You really are and I wish you would believe me. I hope you love me as much as I love you. I feel like I'm failing you.

thank you for being my first real love and my first gf. i miss you and hope we can get back to being as close as we were

You saved my life and I love you so fuckin much. I feel like we’re drifting, and I don’t know if I can handle not being your friend

im sorry. i put us in a hard spot and i know i said our friendship would hold no matter how akward things got and i still stand by that. but i really miss you. things are,,different. i dunno how or how to describe it. i want more but i know its not possible. it would be unfair to you but is it too much to ask to just. hold you for a bit? no strings attatched? treat you like your the only person in the world? hold your hand just for a minute? i want to have more moments like at that chipotle a few months ago. figuring things out and talking through things, revealing more about ourselves because the truth is i miss you. which doesnt even make any sense because youre right here. we havent stopped talking, we havent stopped being friends but the only way i can really describe it is that i miss you. ik this isnt very fancy and you'll never see this so i guess that's why im being so open. i think about you alot, you know? i bet you think that my mind is always preoccupied with,, heh other things but truth is its a conscious effort to think about him where with you youre always just there. you float in and out of my brain all the time. im always wondering about you, what your doing, how your doing. i try to check up on your but ah im uh emotionally stunted to say the least. im not good with words. clearly. but anyways point is. youre in my brain. constantly. which reminds me ik i have all my other playlists on public and your probly think i dont have any about you but just so you know your playlists are on private. i add onto them alot. the vibes clash around too. there are songs that wanna get me screaming and dancing and there are songs that make me miss you so much it hurts. anyways. thanks for being you i really am the person i am today because of you and it scares me to think about who i would be without. gosh i probly wouldnt have a good sense of humor,, but youre caring, youre stubborn, pretty, funny as hell. ah class is starting soon but at the end of the day i really am thankful that youre my best friend. even if its just that.

i love love love u so muchhh. u r one of the purest ppl alive. thank you so much for helping me through one of the lowest/hardest times in my life. i appreciate it so fucking much u dont understand. thank u for everything. the shit id do to go back n fuk around in dat hotel room in tsa. man fun times. love u so much.

I really wish I could tell you how I’ve been in love with you ever since we pretty much met. You’re so beautiful to me I only want to look at you. And your personality makes it twice as hard to only stay friends.

My mood changes when I talk to you it could be at the lowest point and you could make the clouds go away and show a rainbow and I wish I could say how I felt but she would kill me if I did, you have no clue how much you are to me I love you

I love you, I can’t tell you because I know I would lose you but you are the brightest feeling in my life you are my yellow

i just wish we still had the friendship we had when we were 10. i wish i was good enough to be your best friend again.

we were friends and then one day out of nowhere u made everyone turn on me. what did i do wrong? im glad we're no longer friends. thanks for ruining my self esteem

i feel bad abt us bcs i know we're not meant to be in eachother's lives, but i dont wanna let u go bcs im scared to hurt u w that, and i think u need me, although its bad. staying 'together' is gonna hurt, 'splitting' will too. idk what to do, i feel weird abt it all, i wish i could forget everything sometimes. but itll get better, i think, thats always how it goes, doesnt it? u need things i cant provide, things out of my reach. things thatll tear me apart. i cant give u what u need. it hurts, knowing im no good for u. but we just roll w it, untill the breaking point. i just hope we can ever go back to the beginning and start it all over again, bcs a lot went wrong. sorry i gave u false hope, hope i would never give u, but i told u i could. no, i cant, and i wont. i dont like it that u like me. i feel like ur always watching me. i just rolled w it to keep ur eyes off of someone else. im not a good person for u, u have to realise that. whatever we do will always escalate, u could be okay w it but it isnt good. i apologize, im in a mental breakdown at the moment and i hope youll never look up ur name, but its kind of fun when you do, so fuck it.

You seem like an over thinker. Focus on how strong you are and give yourself a break from the negative :) You deserve it.

ill always love you. you were my best friend. i dont know why you decided you didnt need me anymore. but i will always love you and wish nothing but the best for you. - the judy to your sharon

i still check up on you all the time. i wonder if you ever think of me. ill always cherish the friendship that we had.
i love you.
jules

I really like you, and you seem like an incredible person, but I'm scared. I know how you feel about high school relationships, but you are an incredible girl and I would love to just have a chance with you.

I don’t think you’ll ever know i loved you. i mean how could you, i just watched idly as u fell for someone else

i fell in love w everything about you. from your voice and laugh to your compassion for others. simply seeing you or hearing someone talk about you makes me beam. i’ll always love you

Tbh you are the most down to earth person I've met and I'm glad that I was introduced to you. See you soon!

hey syd, i really feel like i fucked up things between us. i know i can live without you, i just don’t want to have to. i would really give so much to start over with you.

you meant more to me then words can really express. i miss you one heck of alot but i know you dont care for our friendship anymore. i hope that part of you misses me too. but i know im probably wrong in that judgement. i hope youre well bubbles.

why are you turning into her. you are so against her yet you are turning into her. i thought you wouldn't hurt me.

tbh you're so fun to be around and I enjoy your company. Im glad that I was introduced to you and see you soon!

:( Pp poo poo . I miss talking to you every day :( we rarely talk now and it just makes me cry every time you leave me on read :/

i wonder how you actually feel about me.

why don’t we talk anymore?

I still miss you. please text me

why did you have to leave when i loved u the most..

You have shown me a light that no one else could. Thank you for all the memories

i know you’re the one for me but i couldn’t give you that back. im so sorry

i'm still not over you and i don't know if i ever will be. i hope you give me another chance.