Unsent messages to SONNY
From: ABC
To: Sonny
Date: November 12, 2023, 12:31 pm UTC
what did i do wrong ? why do you hate me all the sudden.
From: ABC
To: Sonny
Date: October 18, 2023, 10:07 pm UTC
I love you. You’re my soulmate and I hope to spend a lifetime with you
From: ABC
To: Sonny
Date: October 11, 2023, 10:11 pm UTC
i miss you, but do you even miss me?
From: ABC
To: Sonny
Date: October 10, 2023, 8:21 pm UTC
Your not the person I fell in love with anymore.
From: ABC
To: Sonny
Date: October 9, 2023, 9:57 pm UTC
Its been months but I still go through photos. I can't get over you. I wish I didn't mess up. Ily :(
From: ABC
To: Sonny
Date: October 9, 2023, 3:36 pm UTC
I wish I was kinder in situations that hurt me, I still think about you often.
From: ABC
To: Sonny
Date: September 23, 2023, 10:48 am UTC
You’ve treated me terribly, like I don’t understand how u could do that to a person u said u loved
From: ABC
To: Sonny
Date: August 7, 2023, 4:57 am UTC
We broke each other, but I still dream of you vividly
From: ABC
To: Sonny
Date: August 6, 2023, 9:18 pm UTC
I really like you but I feel like u don’t like me back
From: ABC
To: Sonny
Date: August 6, 2023, 12:05 am UTC
I just wish you could realise how you treated me.
From: ABC
To: Sonny
Date: January 10, 2021, 2:08 pm UTC
I think the reason I can’t let you go is because I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, I love you son, always n forever x
From: ABC
To: Sonny
Date: January 9, 2021, 3:40 am UTC
you just wanted me to be someone I couldn't be. you'll find your person, but I don't think that person is me
From: ABC
To: Sonny
Date: January 1, 2021, 3:54 pm UTC
you literally ruined my life and you never cared about me at all, you don’t think about me but you hurt me so much i can’t stop thinking about how much damaged you caused me. i will never heal from what you did to me, i hate you.
From: ABC
To: Sonny
Date: January 1, 2021, 1:26 pm UTC
you saved my life. just being there for me saved my life. i want to get better for you. i love you with all my heart.
From: ABC
To: Sonny
Date: December 9, 2020, 5:23 pm UTC
i had to let you go to be free. i love and i miss you, but i couldn’t allow you to take advantage of me anymore.
From: ABC
To: Sonny
Date: December 7, 2020, 5:18 am UTC
I think I’m in love with you. I think I have been for a long while now. But I didn’t want to admit it, not even to myself, for fear of losing myself, of losing you. You’ve always had everyone’s eyes on you, I wanted to be the strong one, I wanted to be able to look away, unbothered. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to be content on my own. But I couldn’t. I cant. You broke me. And I cant keep pretending like I’m fine not being with you. Like I’m fine seeing you with her, or with her, or with her. For a minute, I thought I finally had you. I knew I didn’t deserve you, but I thought I had you. How stupid was I—I was never even an option. When I saw you gaze at me, you were only looking through me to see her. I lost myself in the fantasy of those few months, pretended it was you really saying those words to me. I scolded myself every time I did it. But I couldn’t help myself, and I fucking hate myself everyday for it. It hurts. It hurts to pretend I’m still the strong woman I was taught to be. The worst part is, I know this time it’s for real. I’m not in love with the thought of being wanted. I’m in love with you. God, to be seen by you. To be known. Honestly, I don’t think you’d ever be ready or willing to see me the way I want you to. But that’s ok. You’re just a boy. I have the feeling that’s all you’ll ever be. And I don’t hate you for it. I envy you, your immaturity, your beautiful naïveté, your blissful ignorance of the power you hold over others. I love you for it. You’re everything I deny myself. So I’ll continue to steal little moments of you, that I’ll cherish forever in the store rooms of my mind, as you see her, or her, or even her, all the while seeing through me. I know you’re just a boy. And I wish I could be a girl. Maybe that would make you see me. But I’m a woman now, I can never be girl again. I don’t think I ever was. Maybe in August, yes, those last few weeks in August when I had hope for us. Maybe I was a girl then, flirting at a brick wall, blasting music with the top down on the way home because I was so in love with that damned wall and I just didn’t care anymore, kicking my shoes off with a smile because what I had thought was meant to be was finally happening. I think I did this to myself. For years, I made myself—not the brassy obnoxious bitch I acted like—invisible. No one would ever see me. So when I wanted, NEEDED you to, you couldn’t. How can I blame you for that? I hope you never see this, because we both have reputations and I don’t want you to look at me any differently than you do now. I just needed to tell you that I think I’m in love with you. I think I always have, and I think I always will be. I just can’t keep acting like I’m not. You don’t have to say a word back. I’d rather you not. But youre the first person in a long time I’ve wanted to see me. See me in the way I see you. I’m so grateful, and so fond, and so proud of you. Thank you for everything. Maybe I’ll tell you this at the end of the year. Hopefully you’ll just be a memory of August by then.
JM
From: ABC
To: Sonny
Date: December 5, 2020, 10:58 pm UTC
hey, I know this is really weird but I can't stop thinking about you and I'm not sure why. I know what you did but I can't seem to hate you like everyone else, I don't think I could ever hate you. I'm not sure what the point of sending you this was because I know I could never be with you because of other's judgment and I can't even explain how much that hurts. I wish you the best, I guess you could consider this a goodbye message. Seeing you at school every day at school hurts, we act like strangers, like nothing ever happened. I hear bad things about you being said every day, my friends saying how much of a bad person you are. If only they knew how many nights I spent balling my eyes out and how many days I spent empty and cold because of you. I feel like such a bad person because I should hate you, I should hate you so much, but I just can't. I love you. I never knew I could ever want and miss someone so much, I never knew what true pain was until now. If I could go back a year I would warn you and tell you to never do what you did because that way everything would be perfect, I could have you. You've put me through so much pain and although it hurts it's time for me to let go. Thank you for teaching me what love feels like, even if I wasn't supposed to feel it with you.
From: ABC
To: Sonny
Date: November 23, 2020, 4:33 am UTC
I love you, but I need to know if you're willing to put the same amount of energy into our relationship.
From: ABC
To: Sonny
Date: November 13, 2020, 12:52 am UTC
I won’t push you to talk because you probably have a reason not to which is unbeknownst to me. Nevertheless, I hope you’re doing well and that you’re happy. Love you
From: ABC
To: Sonny
Date: November 10, 2020, 4:23 am UTC
i don't hate u. i never will. i just have to act like i do because it's easier than admitting i miss u
From: ABC
To: Sonny
Date: November 10, 2020, 4:14 am UTC
i just want you to rest your head on my chest so i can run my fingers through your hair again. lmao :l
From: ABC
To: Sonny
Date: November 9, 2020, 2:49 am UTC
I can’t quite pin the reason yet, but although we haven’t known each other very long, I love you very much. I wish you all the happiness in the world, because you most definitely deserve it.
From: ABC
To: Sonny
Date: October 31, 2020, 11:28 pm UTC
eventually i'll stop looking at the door hoping your goofy smile will enter the room. eventually, my heart won't ache knowing you never will
From: ABC
To: Sonny
Date: October 30, 2020, 10:46 pm UTC
I go the whole day content with how it is now. But each night, I find myself holding onto the hope that we will go back to what we were
From: ABC
To: Sonny
Date: October 30, 2020, 10:25 pm UTC
u radiate light, not like the sun,
steady & warm, like fire burning through the darkness for all who dare to tend it's ember
From: ABC
To: Sonny
Date: October 25, 2020, 9:37 pm UTC
I know you're ignoring me but I don't know why. But I can't chase you. I wont do that to myself again
From: ABC
To: Sonny
Date: October 13, 2020, 9:25 pm UTC
Something about you liking me just doesn't sit right with me. I think it probably means you have bad taste
From: ABC
To: Sonny
Date: October 2, 2020, 12:46 am UTC
we barely know each other but when we hung out it was my best moment of my life, i wish it never ended the way you held me made me feel so safe i wish you never left
From: ABC
To: Sonny
Date: September 8, 2020, 6:59 pm UTC
i still love you even though i was the one that broke it off. greens your favourite colour as well even though your name is more of a yellowy colour
