Unsent Messages

hey, I know this is really weird but I can't stop thinking about you and I'm not sure why. I know what you did but I can't seem to hate you like everyone else, I don't think I could ever hate you. I'm not sure what the point of sending you this was because I know I could never be with you because of other's judgment and I can't even explain how much that hurts. I wish you the best, I guess you could consider this a goodbye message. Seeing you at school every day at school hurts, we act like strangers, like nothing ever happened. I hear bad things about you being said every day, my friends saying how much of a bad person you are. If only they knew how many nights I spent balling my eyes out and how many days I spent empty and cold because of you. I feel like such a bad person because I should hate you, I should hate you so much, but I just can't. I love you. I never knew I could ever want and miss someone so much, I never knew what true pain was until now. If I could go back a year I would warn you and tell you to never do what you did because that way everything would be perfect, I could have you. You've put me through so much pain and although it hurts it's time for me to let go. Thank you for teaching me what love feels like, even if I wasn't supposed to feel it with you.