Unsent messages to RYDER
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: November 13, 2023, 5:53 am UTC
when i look around, i always see you
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: November 13, 2023, 5:44 am UTC
Sometimes i just want you to care that i love you
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: November 13, 2023, 3:50 am UTC
I wish that I was able to stand up for myself in our relationship
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: November 12, 2023, 10:33 pm UTC
i still hate myself for what i did to you back then, i wish i could take it back. i miss you :(
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: November 6, 2023, 6:40 pm UTC
hi handsome, i love you forever. i pinky promise. you’re my favorite human.
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: October 31, 2023, 12:57 am UTC
Why did you say you loved me if you didn’t even care when i left
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: October 26, 2023, 7:17 am UTC
I love you more than you know, I’m trying so hard for us.
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: October 24, 2023, 11:43 pm UTC
I do wonder what life would be like w u still in it. I’m missing being close to someone like we were
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: October 23, 2023, 5:11 pm UTC
i really do liek you and i enjoy all the times we hang out together. i want to be yours.
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: October 20, 2023, 3:55 am UTC
You made me feel so perfect, but I didn’t realize you could make every other girl feel like that.
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: September 11, 2023, 6:27 am UTC
i hate you for hurting me. but i still love you for being my first true love. ugh.
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: July 31, 2023, 3:42 pm UTC
I’m sorry if I seem clingy but I just really like you
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: July 29, 2023, 5:43 pm UTC
I love you more than i can comprehend you are my everything
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: July 27, 2023, 5:44 am UTC
I loved you so much. More than you’ll ever know.
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: January 18, 2021, 9:54 pm UTC
I love you so much, but I feel like were drifting. I don't want us to be over. I don't know what else I can do.
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: January 8, 2021, 7:11 am UTC
I was only 8, but I loved you, I truly did. I loved everything about you, from your charming smile to your stupid jokes. And I love that you haven't changed. Your smile still makes me smile. Your stupid jokes still make me laugh. I'll never admit it to you, but after 6 years, I think I still love you; and I still wonder if you ever did, or ever will love me back. I don't see you anymore, but we still talk. You'll never see this, but I want you to know I care about you. And no matter what, I'll love you Ryder. xoxo maddie
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: December 31, 2020, 9:50 pm UTC
I would say before I met you I was so naive about love and now I know everything thats wrong with it .
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: December 23, 2020, 3:03 am UTC
I can’t help but wonder what could've happened if the pandemic hadn’t separated us. P.s. I’ve always known how to spell your name
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: December 19, 2020, 6:07 am UTC
ur the person that made me cry and smile, didnt think you could do 2 of those. in feb i only thought 1.
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: December 12, 2020, 8:52 pm UTC
Hey, I have no just a few things to say.... I HATE U FOR DECIDING TO LEAD ME ON AND FOR REGECTKNG ME FOR WHEN I SAID YOU WERE INTO ME AND I WAS INTO YOU WHEN I ASKED U OUT AND THE DAY AFTER WE WERE TALKING AND AFYER THAT YOU DECIDED TO BLAOCK ME. SO U KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO SAY TO THAT...... YOU CAN GO FUCK YOURSELF. AND TO ALL THE GIRLS THAT HAVE TO SAY TO A GUY THAT HAS DONE THIS TO THEM IN THE PAST... I AM RIGHT BY YOUR SIDE CAUSE THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME 2 ALREADY
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: December 7, 2020, 6:08 am UTC
its been 4 months since it ended. i did a stupid thing and i finally caved in and tried to tell you i miss you. you left me on open. it still hurts so bad yet you don’t care. i still haven’t gone a day without thinking about you. i want to hate you but i can’t...
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: December 7, 2020, 4:36 am UTC
okay so my friend has liked you since we were 9 and she's a psycho about that, and my best friend has a crush on you and won't admit it. And yours is a friendship I wouldn't trade for the entire world so I don't want to potentially ruin it. And we are so young and have so much time that I feel like it would be so much better if we waited. I can't tell if all of these are just excuses that I'm making to support commitment issues, or if they're valid reasons as to why I should continue to play this agonizing waiting game. Other people we're both interested in, immaturity, circumstances, and all the other good reasons to not. But somehow those million cons don't overshadow the few pros. Why? What do I do? How do I go on? so many questions and I don't know if you are the answer, but I want to find out. I want to find out because I think i really like the way you make me feel. i don't know, I'm just so confused.
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: December 5, 2020, 3:08 am UTC
you should have left me alone. why did you beg for something you didnt want. you hurt me in a way that i will never forgive you for. do you hear me? i will never forgive you
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: December 2, 2020, 12:06 am UTC
for the past four years you have been woven in & out of my life. freshman year to freshman year. season into season; here for one, gone for the next.
they say it takes seven years to grow all new skin cells. every time we end, i think how long it will have been since you last touched me. how much longer it’ll be until i’m a version of me without you tucked into tiny corners of my being. 14 months at the longest; though another boy held me, i often thought of you. two days at the shortest.
it’s only been a little over a month, but tonight in the shower as i lathered up, my mind drifted to thoughts of you.
in june, a girl i met on tinder read my tarot cards. i asked about college. for the good, she told me someone would enter my life. someone vain. someone dishonest. she told me this person would teach myself a very positive lesson about who i am & who i wanted to be. i thought, at the time, it was absurd. how could that ever be good?
as i scrubbed my body, my skin began to shed.
this afternoon as i drove home in the pouring rain, i passed under a bridge. for a moment, everything stopped. i was protected from the rain. i recall you being my bridge. my safety net from the thunderous world outside.
i scrubbed harder, dead skin flaking off, my skin raw & red.
two weeks ago, sobbing so hard, i started to hyperventilate. every part of me ached for you. my fingers gravitating to my phone, fingers dancing around the numbers in a pattern that belonged to you. i cried out your name in pain, in agony. i thought, only if you could hold me, all this pain would go away.
but i was a month in. 83 months to go.
my skin swirls down the drain.
two months ago we were sat on my bedroom floor, eating cheerios out of mugs, sharing smiles & kisses, while you whispered i’m the one.
i wrapped my towel tight around my body, drying off the stains you left.
they say it takes seven years to grow completely new skin, but tonight i shed every surface you had ever touched.
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: November 30, 2020, 8:29 am UTC
i still think about you everyday and love you so much and i want you to come back im hurt without you i love you and nothing will change that
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: November 19, 2020, 1:25 am UTC
I'm scared that even tho we are best friends now, in the future you will no longer talk to me and leave me behind while you get on with your life.
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: November 18, 2020, 8:49 pm UTC
hey ryder. I miss you more than you could ever think and i still love you so so much and i think about u everyday. wish u were still with us on earth. miss you and rest in paradise :)
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: November 18, 2020, 6:34 pm UTC
hey ryder, we just became closer recently but ur pretty cool i hope u realize ur worth. thanks for talking to me all the time i know im pretty annoying and ur gonna leave me soon but thanks for stickin with me for a while
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: November 18, 2020, 4:40 am UTC
Thank you for everything. Honestly. yes i broke up with you, but you mean something to me but i never wanted to let that go but i did because you were treating me poorly. thank you. i hope your happy:)
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: November 10, 2020, 8:18 pm UTC
i feel so stupid writing so many of these but u really fucked me over. im still here rooting for ur happiness, and i always will be.
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: November 10, 2020, 2:10 pm UTC
you called me out of the blue last night, and i was so excited until you told me you needed help deciding which girl to pick.
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: October 20, 2020, 4:08 am UTC
if you are seeing this.. i have so much to tell you and so many songs to share bud..chances are low but if you are seeing this text me.. i miss you :(
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: October 19, 2020, 6:30 am UTC
moonboy
i miss you more than you will ever know. i understand i can be annoying sometimes but i don’t know why you left so fast. timing was not in our favor... but i owe you so much and life feels empty without you filling up my days.i cant stop thinking about you and i hope that maybe our paths cross again
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: September 29, 2020, 3:15 am UTC
I finally put my walls down for you and i thought you were different but you ended up being even worse than the last
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: September 28, 2020, 10:18 pm UTC
It’s you. It always has been and always will be. I can’t look at anyone else without thoughts of what we could have been. You know I care and you’ll always have my heart, but it’s time for me to let go. I love you, and as much as I feel like I need you, it’ll only hurt me if we stay friends. I’ll forever be here for you, just from a distance. I hope you’re doing good. Last I heard, my friends said you seemed happier. No one else can give me quite the same feeling that you did, but I guess some people are just lessons in our lives, huh?
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: September 28, 2020, 1:56 pm UTC
here i am, sitting in the middle of my second period math class and wondering if ur still in love with me.
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: September 28, 2020, 1:53 pm UTC
i think i love you. not the middle school say it after a week type, but the world shattering "my heart cant handle this anymore" type of love
From: ABC
To: Ryder
Date: September 20, 2020, 3:12 am UTC
ur the one who made me believe in young love. im not sure if u notice, but i can tell ur struggling again. i know the odds of u reading this are low, but i love u. so so so much. stay out of trouble, be safe, and wear ur seatbelt
