Unsent messages to ROWAN
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: August 15, 2023, 8:38 pm UTC
i like u a lot and you’ll never even know it
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: July 23, 2023, 9:14 pm UTC
sorry i can’t make my mind up. ur all im thinking about
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: July 15, 2023, 10:35 pm UTC
I wish I never thought you could change.
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: July 11, 2023, 2:20 am UTC
there’s so much that reminds me of you.
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: January 16, 2021, 8:24 am UTC
You know i liked you and you blocked it off. We had such a good bond and you let something small ruin it when it wasn’t even true.
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: January 10, 2021, 9:00 am UTC
i don’t think you’ll ever understand how badly you hurt me. you made me think you felt the same way for the longest time, just to leave with no explanation like i meant nothing to you. it’s crazy how okay you were with being strangers again.
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: January 8, 2021, 6:44 am UTC
i hate what happened between us. i wish you could remember everything that happened and just be okay with it, and with me. im still waiting for us both to turn 18. no matter what anyone tells me, a chunk of me will always miss you. T
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: January 8, 2021, 6:38 am UTC
you'll never find this, but im still waiting for the day that we both turn 18. i love you forever, no matter what
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: January 8, 2021, 3:00 am UTC
you scarred me so much that I’m still realising the affects of the trauma to this day, and i will never forgive you for that
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: January 5, 2021, 3:34 pm UTC
I know I messed up, I decided to believe her instead of you. I thought you lied, yet you didn’t. You never lied. I miss you really bad I’m not over you and I’ll never be over you, I know you have a gf and I wish you the best with her. I love you
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: January 4, 2021, 4:56 am UTC
I’m still quite young but I’ve never felt the same with any other crush. And especially with you and how you like me back, I’ve never felt this about anyone else and I feel as if I love you.
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: January 3, 2021, 6:57 pm UTC
I still think about you even when i shouldn’t. If only you could’ve matured faster maybe something would’ve worked out in the end. :(
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: January 3, 2021, 5:12 pm UTC
I’m scared it’ll never be the same. I’m not myself when I’m with you but I wish I was in just scared to let my guard down because you’ll judge me
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: January 2, 2021, 11:04 pm UTC
You are a supreme bitch, you are the reason I suffer, I can't walk past a gaggle of girls that are giggling, because I fear its about me. You treat me like less than dirt, because I bet you wouldn't even stand on me for fear of some of my strange rubbing off on you. You couldn't even look me in the eye, you couldn't even fathom my existence, and the perpetual exclusion I had to face was so blatant, you are such a whore. You deserve nothing.
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: December 28, 2020, 3:55 am UTC
i am writing this to myself because i know nobody will ever write one for me. ily bestie happy new year
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: December 26, 2020, 1:57 am UTC
I cried the night I realised I loved you because a few months earlier it would of been a dream to feel like that.
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: December 24, 2020, 5:38 am UTC
i wish u loved me as much as you had loved him. enjoy ur life out of the closet. I'll be waiting for you when u come back in
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: December 15, 2020, 10:56 pm UTC
i lied about the way i felt, but if i told the truth i could have lost you and that would have been worse
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: December 12, 2020, 8:13 am UTC
i'm sorry for hurting you. i wish i knew how to stop. please hang in there a little longer. i swear i'll start loving you soon.
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: December 12, 2020, 3:32 am UTC
Im sorry i hurt you. I'm hurting too, and i know you know that, but i really do miss you and wish i could talk to you
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: December 4, 2020, 7:13 am UTC
Finally, I am free of your chains. Finally, I can let it all go. For 2 years I cried for you. No more. I am me again, the girl I so desperately wanted back after you tore all of her parts away. No shame, no hate, and no indifference towards you. I am just happy for me, I am excited.
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: November 24, 2020, 12:00 am UTC
i always picture our first night in NY. we arrive in our tiny studio apartment and look out at the lights and i whisper “we did it”. then we stay up till sunrise eating pizza on the floor as we don’t have furniture yet. i laugh, you giggle (your cute little giggle). i love you.
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: November 22, 2020, 8:57 pm UTC
i am so in love with you. the way you smile and laugh at your own jokes or when you dance and sing like you are the only girl in the room. passenger seat for life, right?
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: November 19, 2020, 9:41 pm UTC
fuck you. all i want is to be with you. i want you to be a part of my life again. i would do anything
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: November 19, 2020, 12:03 am UTC
I like you kinda but we are opposites. I am a lamb, you are a lion. We seek different lives and I believe you will never look at me the way I do and never think about me the way I do.
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: November 18, 2020, 2:06 am UTC
You were my best friend and I should’ve never let you go. I still love you more than I love anything else.
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: November 14, 2020, 4:50 am UTC
I remembered everything about you from 3rd grade and you didnt even recognize my name. I cant explain how much hurt you put me through. Did you ever like me? was i just a rebound to talk to another girl? I hate the way im desperate for you're attention.
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: November 13, 2020, 6:00 am UTC
FUCK YOU. How could you say you love me for years, and i say it back but still not want to be with me? i tried so hard and i was patient with you. you say you dont want a relationship at the moment but go and date someone else. stop playing with my feelings. it hurts so fucking much. it hurts hearing you get excited when she texts you, it hurts when you hang up on me to call her, it hurts when i have to hear you call her your soulmate after 3 months but i loved you for 5 fucking years. it hurts, it hurts, it hurts. it was a waste of fucking time and effort. thanks for using me for your enjoyment. i hope she breaks your fucking heart. im not going to be with you when she leave. ive been second best to her after everything i did for you. you broke my fucking heart.
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: November 10, 2020, 8:05 am UTC
I dont think you will ever be able to understand how badly you hurt me. You continually reassure me that you have no idea what you've done to me. Why do I still miss you everyday, though? I literally cannot help myself. I know you just want friendship and to just hookup with me, but I'll do it just to spend time with you. I wish I could tell you all of these things, but I already know the outcome. I love you forever. I wish you'd just see me, once. If you did, you'd know how much I love you and how much I'd fight for you. I'm not sad, just disappointed in you and me. I feel like we could have it all, but you refuse to see it. I forgive you, and I only want what you want. I keep it all inside, because I love you that much.
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: October 25, 2020, 2:45 pm UTC
I love you so much, you’re the bestest friend i could ever have, I’m just scared that I’ll get bored of you
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: October 21, 2020, 4:43 pm UTC
Your eyes shine like stars and make me wish that I could’ve lived with you and had my future with you.
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: September 27, 2020, 12:28 am UTC
If I knew that I could reach you I would call. I still miss you. You were someone I would go to if I needed someone to talk to. Someone important. I can't believe you just blocked me and left. Please come back before I fall back into the cycle I was before.
From: ABC
To: rowan
Date: September 8, 2020, 12:51 am UTC
Sometimes I wish I never loved you. It would have been easier when you left. Sometimes I believe that you did cheat but other times I feel bad for you. I will never understand how you hurt me if you said you loved me. I'm glad that there will never be the possibility for us to be together again. Because now I'm going to marry your best friend. Beat that you prick.
