Unsent messages to PAUL

thankyou for still sticking around im not sure if im ready for a relashionship but you stuck around and thats more than most people do for me and for that i thankyou i hope i will be healed enough soon but if not i know you will find someone you are ever so kind and have a huge heart thankyou for caring thats more than most people do. I seem to get distant randomly and i wish i could explain why, one day i will, but until then thankyou for sticking around it means so much more than you know.

You were right about everything. I just wish you weren’t such an asshole about it. You made me feel like you genuinely cared about my wellbeing but now we barely see eye to eye. Come back soon please. I’ll be waiting

I love your energy. I want to spend more time together. I hope our perceptions are aligned. I’ll wait for you, if it’s right you’ll come to me.

You texted me "Happy New Years", and it made my day. It was good to hear from you after so long, but it also gave me the peace I needed to move on. I know that you don't hate me anymore and I didn't hate you from the start, but we need to keep going our seperate ways, and your message gave me the courage to release my hold on you. I hope you achieve everything you wanted and worked for. Maybe I'll see you when I'm a doctor one day :)

i wish you didnt cross the road that day, then you could be here and i could tell you how much i miss you

what did i do so wrong for you to stop talking to me and then just see me as object? i miss the old you.

Happy New year! You were the best and worst part of my 2020. I hope it works out with the new girl. I hope she succeeds where I failed. I still love you but it's time for me to go. - ?

i love you. i love you so much paul i truly havent felt this way before. i say that all the time but i mean it. you have been there for me through everything and you have been by my side ever since we first started talking. im so in love with you and i have been in love with you ever since we first met. im not sure how i ever got the privilege of calling you my boyfriend but im so glad i did. you are my soulmate, my twin flame. i think we are gonna last forever paulie.

When we met I was young and naive. I thought anything I told you I could do because I just wanted the chance to be in a happy, stable, and supportive relationship. You offered me the stars, the moon, and the sun and in return I slammed the door in your face scared. Looking back now I realize just how much I needed to mature and become independent before getting into a relationship. I regret all the things I have said to you and wish I could take it back, but unfortunately that is not possible. One day if our paths ever do cross again I hope I can thank you for the internal growth you helped me realize I needed to go through. You where then and forever will be my one and only beast who has a part of my heart. And I would never want that to change

I met your mum today. She told me she wanted to invite me to christmas but you said covid restrictions wouldn't allow it. I went home and cried but at least I could pet your dogs one last time.

? ?
I’m just playing nice....
What’s done is done. Why be mean? Haven’t we suffered enough. You know?
But I totally agree - never again- ?

I really hope it didn‘t hit you too hard.
I never wanted it to end that way or at all, thank you for one of the best times of my life.

I love every time around you, I know later on in the future we could possibly make amazing memories together but I still don't know if you are him. I love you and im thankful for everything you've showed me and I hope all your dreams come true because you deserve it and you're also lowkey a really dope person.

How can it hurt so bad, it isn't getting easier, only worse! My heart literally aches and I don't know how to fix it! He is like a drug; each time I take the tiniest bit of him, I crave more and more. He consumes my thoughts and invades my dreams...and I think he always will. Whatever our souls are made out of his and mine are the same.

its your birthday today...our relationship is too broken after everything you put me through and idk how to fix it.

i can’t believe you fully removed me from your life and are acting like i never existed.
i hope you feel terrible about it. i don’t miss you or your horrible singing.

that whole one week of you ignoring me, it truly hurt. You acted like you were interested in me and that what made me like you. I was dumb enough to realize that you were just like the guys ive talked to. I get it that it was hard to talk about your health problems but we already talked abt that topic so why hesistate? its not that im gonna judge you or anything because you know im not that type of person. I still like you and but i think i upgraded idk.

maybe you're since 6 months my crush, Unfortunately you don't care about me and it hurts me so much to know..

idk if I'm still in love with you. The little details of what was once us are fading. I want you to come back. I wanna do things differently this time. I love you always bubs.

You know my grandma died in a car crash. Why do you take the car and sneak out to drink? I love you too much to lose you

hey, dad. we need to talk. you are tuly such a good person. i have seen it with my own eyes, but why wont you shwo it? dont just show it to me, show it to other people. i know it is in you, so just show it. be that person you are scared to be.

I'd love to tell you how I really feel, but I just can't get it out. I really appreciate that you're so hard-working, respectful and kind all of the time.

When I first saw you, all of my bad memories of love disappeared. You really made me love someone again.

still wishing we could skateboard and listen to mister peep together, maybe u could give me a tattoo :)

No sabías lo que daría por volver a abrazarte, tocar tus carita preciosa o besarte.
-K
(Btw, si ves esta notita Too young de Louis Tomlinson es para ti)

every time you say my name i know you’re consciously replacing that for sweetheart and as oddly fast as i got over you it hurts i think

i'm scared that my darkness is back but I don't think you can help me because not even my medication work. I am scared.

Fuck you ugly ass trump supporter honestly I thought you couldn’t get any worse thank you for leaving my life

we were always friends, and I fucking miss you at times because I love it when we laugh. You're a retard for using me.

i still smile when your name pops up in my phone. you’re my favorite notification. you’re the first person who really touched me. you’re the first person who’s snaps i smiled out. i love/d you. but you don’t anymore. or do you. you’re indecisive is killing me. i love you. come back.

I love you. But I don’t love you the same as I did before. I love you like a childhood friend. You taught me so much in such little time. You’re in a different relationship and so am I. Thanks for everything

i wish that i would've stayed bc i know that right now i'd be with you and not her. but, as happy as it makes me to know that it would've been me and you, it just as equally scares me.

Tonight i’ve been thinking about you a lot... i really hope you’re doing well and that our worlds can collide in the future. i would kill to see that smile on your face again.

Entra a Netflix y busca la pelicula el cadaver de la novia 01:07:17- 01:07:20.Si llegas a ver esto sabras que es para ti VPCC

i hope one day i can find the courage to tell you what you did to me and how broken it left me. im getting better

i’m scared to move on cause that means i accept our fate as strangers & i’d rather be heartbroken than forget about u

Remember the blue butterfly emoji we would send to each other every night after we would say I love you to each other. I associate blue butterfly’s with you now, whenever one passes me I know you’re with me. God I miss you

I loved you from the moment I met you. I felt truly happy, beautiful, powerful and free for the first time. You showed me how great live could be and then you broke my heart in pieces and I haven´t recovered. I feel empty and lost everyday and wish I would hug you one more time to feel complete for one more second in my life.

We haven’t known each other for long but I don’t think i’ve ever felt this way for someone. Thank you and I miss you. I’m sorry I wasn’t enough

I tried my hardest to make you love me but it wasn’t enough. It’s been months and my heart stills hurts. I wish you missed me the way I miss you.

I’m so sorry for our relationships and that they never worked because I was toxic,but that’s all I know because that’s the only thing I grew up around,I’ve never learnt or been taught how to be loved therefore I couldn’t love you without toxicness because it wasn’t normal

I loved you, yea i really really loved you. But there is so much more than love what we’ve needed for a good relationship. Goodbye my man.

I miss you and I wish you hadn't moved. But I am to shy to hit u up again so this is going to have to work.lmao

I honestly wish I never told you I like you because I know I make you cringe now. I just want you to know no matter what happens/happened I will always want you to be happy.

yo, soo when you gonna ask me out?, ugh you know you were always the guy i could never stop thinking of, any guy i dated or talked to i would think of you for some reason, i'm not sure if i love you bc i rlly don't know anything abt love but i'm rlly scared to come forward and tell you my feelings. I feel like you'll laugh at me and tell me this connection is all in my head, i'm scared that i'm waiting for something that won't ever happen but at the same time it feels so right with you. God this is mad embarrassing lol

I really liked you and i’m honestly not sure how you didnt notice it all along. I rather would have had your friendship than lost you completely so I never said it. you’re an amazing person and you deserve good things. I eventually lost my feelings for you but i’m so glad you’re a great friend, even if we’re not that close

I really liked you and i’m honestly not sure how you didnt notice it all along. I rather would have had your friendship than lost you completely so I never said it. you’re an amazing person and you deserve good things. I eventually lost my feelings for you but i’m so glad you’re a great friend, even if we’re not that close

Hey... can you believe it's been 6 months since we've broken up it doesn't even feel like it's been that long because of all the hurt i'm going through. 6 months ago you chose the girl you told me I didn't have to worry about over me you see I was always afraid of losing you because you were one of the best things to happen to me.. What happened to "forever" it was supposed to be me and you against the world, you weren't supposed to do this you promised you wouldn't but you know what it's ok. You wanna know what the stupid part is though I would go Back to you in a HeartBeat if you said you wanted to start dating and talking again yeah i'm stupid but I really love and care about you but that's the thing with me i'm toooo forgiving and I shouldn't be after you shut me out for 6 months but I would do anything for you because I believe you were right person wrong time, I believe you are my person... I love you forever.

You made me hate myself n be ashamed of myself for so long, but ive learned to love myself - so thank u. you made me stronger and tbh i hope one day i can be ur friend again because i miss our stupid antics (sorry for making another one of these because its been about a year now)

I wonder if you think about me in the way I think of you.....I want to be used by you....I want you to be straight forward with me and stop floating around it....I hate it I just want you to say it and say it with your chest, are you joking with me or are you being serious? Do your words mean something? Or are you saying this to just get something out of me? I want to know if you are using me.....because I want to be used by you.....I want you to be mine...