Unsent messages to MADISON

text me ?

You’ll always be my muse

waiting for the semester to start so I can see you again

I still love you the same 3 years later

I love you, youre my best friend

I’m in love with you but you’ll never know

I still love you

I think it’s time to let go of you the way I knew you.

I cant understand why your heart isn’t breaking the way mine is.

Just remember that sometimes good can come to those who wait

Your an idiot. Why would you settle for an OK life with someone you’re not happy with then to have me? Am I really that bad? One of my friends told me that you were still thinking of me it made me happy and sad at the same time conflicting feelings are very different thing to feel for me and you know that. But I just can’t understand why you would settle when you could be happy. I know now the reason why we broke up and I’m sorry that you had to go through that but if you ever want to we can go get coffee and talk. I know you’ll never see this and maybe that’s why I’m getting my feelings out because I know that I’m still gonna think about you for a while and it’s better to share my feelings out I guess? I don’t understand that if we both miss each other why can’t we just be together we were amazing and I miss you dearly. And trust me if we had a second round we would do things better and be together for a long time but I don’t think that’ll ever happen I’ve come to terms but I don’t think you have yet. I still wish you and your boyfriend the best.

why. you know i care about you. you know all i ever wanted was for you to be with me till the end. and here you are fucked up and doing coke with the guy that fucking messed with your feelings. ghosting me. you didn’t even come to my birthday. you hung out with that fucking whore doing crack instead of hanging out with someone who was actually there for you since the 6th grade. fuck you madison.

I'm so in love with you. I can't tell you because I'm scared you don't feel the same anymore because I know you love someone else and all I can do is watch and support you because I don't want to ruin something that could be good for you that I can't provide because I'm fucked up. I love you. I'm so fucking in love with you it hurts.

when u almost told me you loved me that day, i felt the same way & wanted to tell you a million times and one times after you left. i know you're not ready to say it and neither am i, but im so happy u feel the same as i do. u make me feel safe, and ill see you in amsterdam in 2050 - spiderweb girl

Here I am, falling for you. To be honest it scares the fuck out of me. In the beggining I was scared that I couldnt do it and that I wasnt ready but now I know I am. You make me so happy and ive never been with someone like you. Someone who understands some of the things I have gone through. Someone who understands that some days I cant get out of bed and am quiet. Someone who will sit there on the phone, both of us on mute, while i have a panic attack just so I know im not alone. I am so scared that when I meet you in person for the first time that you wont like how I look or my body. I think that because of that I havent let my heart fully open up to you. I dont wanna get attached to someone just for them to leave again. So I guess thats my way of protecting myself. I dont have much experience with girls and im scared that will drive you away. We both want the same things and you are everything I have ever wanted in someone. I pray that your feelings wont change once we hang out in person. You are my person now and I dont wanna lose that. You have gone through so much in your life and you are the strongest person I have ever met. Im so proud of you and so happy you never gave up. I wish I could take all your pain away but thats what makes you who you are now. Who you are now is an amazing, sweet, funny, gorgous girl who I like a lot. I cant wait for all of the memories we will make together

You are definitely strange. I don't think your bad person, but you're possessive of your friends and if they don't do what you want, you cut them off like you did to me.

I didn't love you, I never even thought I did, but I did care about you. Maybe it was a crush or a friendship, im not sure, but I hope you find your happiness, I really do.

You brought light into my dark. The balance you brought seems irreplaceable. I'll never forget the times we shared.

I resent you, you're caring, gorgeous, and kind. I can't be you. Why am I always compared to you though

it's weird that I feel this way, I hate and love you all at the same time. I love the idea of you and our friendship but I hate when we are together because I feel myself start to slip away. I know I won't do or say anything but I wish that you knew that I listen and pick up the things you say and the more you talk and do things the more I realize I will never be happy or satisfied with our friendship
Happy New Year!

you changed my life for the better and worse. i hope you change as a person but i wish you luck in life.

you’re so fake, and toxic, and you don’t realize how much you hurt people. please work on yourself, it’s for the best. all love.

Hey Matty, I’m really grateful you’re my friend. Even though I never say it directly just know that you will always have a place in my heart. Even if we part ways in the future. Please stay safe and healthy. Thank you.

madi, i loved you with every being i had. every atom of my body was consumed by you and the things you did..sometimes i think “ what if things were different “ but, i’ll never get to see that day. i’ll never get to see you dance in our future home or bake lemon bars with you. so many things have been left unsaid and i know it will stay that way however, if you ever see this i want you to know..thank you for teaching me how to love and what it means to hurt people, thank you for showing me a new perspective. i’ll forever be grateful for you my dandelion.

I don’t think i can ever stop myself from caring for you and i hate myself for it. I wish i never met you.

we were the bestest of friends, but we changed, drifted. i think you hate me i don’t really know but you’re still in my thoughts. here’s to all the memories.

i thought our friendship was golden but ok. i did care atm but after the party thing i saw how that was fucked up. after that i always thought why i wasn’t good enough to be there, after i thought we were so close and how whenever we talked it felt like we never left. probably that feeling was just me. friends can break you too

i don’t think you realize how much you mean to me, how much you have helped me throughout the years.i cherish every moment with you. you are so beautiful and smart and i wish you could see yourself from my eyes. you will do so many great things in life. i love you, my forever best friend

shit maybe i miss u- ik i’m not in love with u anymore, but i just miss the thought of us being together because it was so perfect in my eyes, we were perfect. i miss u mama.i hope you’re doing well

I'm really sad you started being a meanie to me bc I really thought you were my best friend and I actually loved you

i did it. i sent to him. even when you told me not to. i’m so disappointed in myself. i’m so sorry i lied to you. you have every right to be disappointed in me.

I have never had a friend like you and hope our friendship lasts forever. Thank you for always being there.

I feel as if we're falling off. I'm sorry we don't talk as much as we used to, I just don't want to overwhelm you with my problems. Ily tho, thank you:)

i really liked you, but i was to afraid to tell you. but now your the happiest youve ever been with him :,)

you are so perfect and i love you more than anything. i literally care about you so much and would give anything for you. i love you so much. you are the most precious thing to me.

fuck. forgot to put something. you promised me you wouldn’t forget about me. you promised that we would talk again in a week or something. it’s been a week and two days, i know that sounds so obsessive and shit but it just hurts. it hurts so bad. i just miss you. i really do.

hi madi. i know you’ll never see this but it’s relieving to get stuff off my chest. i feel like you’ve cut me off for good, even if you say this is only a break in our friendship. i just hope you and her are happy in the duo friendship you both reassured me wouldn’t happen. i’m sorry if i sound mad. i’m not mad. i’m hurt. you said you would text me in a week or something yet there’s nothing. i keep my phone on almost always with the ringer on , waiting for you or her to text me. i feel like you forgot about me. i feel like she has too. did i really mean that little. i know you need space but my abandonment issues are kicking in telling me that you hate me and you want nothing to do with me. that this ‘ break ‘ is just another way to cut me off. i’m sorry for hurting you. i just want all of us to be friends again. please. it hurts too much.


please just take care of her if this is truly the end. please.

please just come back. i’m sorry. i’m sorry i miss you i miss her please i’m so sorry

why did you do me like that? You knew what I have been through but you hurt me worse than anyone else has and didn’t even care. but said u loved me for i would stay. I wish i could do people like u did to me but i couldn’t because i’m not that type of person.

I fucking love you so much. I wish that I could tell you this. I love you so much. I don't care that we are both girls. I love you so fucking much and you are so beautiful.

We haven't talked in four years and yet I still lay awake at night thinking about what we could have been. Why'd you have to move so far away? I'm starting to forget how it felt to fall in love with you and I never got the chance to tell you that I loved you.

i’m sorry if you know my feelings for you from months ago. just wanna say i don’t have those feelings for you anymore and i’ve moved on. i’m sorry for making things weird and uncomfortable for you. you’re still like my second family to me or were cus yk we don’t even talk anymore. miss u, think of u and the others. hope ur well

You were the darkest energy in the room, but this is the color of your eyes and I won’t let myself think of you any other way.

i know we are best friends but we are drifting away it might be me just over thinking but think about .you will probably not see this .Btw thxs for leaving me behind :(

Why are we ignoring it? Why are we pretending I didn't ask you out? Why are we acting like we're just friends now? Why are you talking to me about guys you like? It hurts.

Nate you broke my heart more times then I can count I will always love you even though it feels like you have killed my heart

ik i’ve written about you on here plenty of times but i realized i just missed the thought of loving someone and well you were the last person i wanted to love forever. i’ve let you go in April and again, i’m completely letting you go. for good this time

i loved you more than life itself and i will continue to do that everyday even tho you hurt me more then anything else.

you were a bitch to me, but i was equally as awful to you. i’m really, genuinely sorry. i projected and blamed so much of what he put me through on you. looking back, he probably did the exact same things he did to me to you- so i’m sure you were responding in the exact same way i was. how clever of him to let us view each other as the problem instead of him. i hope you’re happy now without him, you deserve better. if you ever feel like reaching out, i’d love that.