Unsent messages to LIFE

i’m tired of acting strong. My soul hurts, my heart and mind is lost.

I will never get to really live. I don’t want the normal life. I want to live.

I keep trying to convince myself it’ll change. I miss you. I'm proud of you always

It's going to be fine right

i don't want to lose all my friends when i graduate. can't they stay a little longer?

why don't you stop?

I'm really tired.

I miss loving you. You’ve turned so ugly I no longer expect to last long here. My yellow has turned grey. I’m sorry to everyone who’s heart I’ll break once I’m gone.

I hate it here I want to kill myself, please someone one came and kill me I really don't want to be here anymore if no one comes then I'm doing it myself

How come I’m unlovable no one has ever genuinely had feeling for me what am I doing wrong please tell me so I can change.

I'm aware you didn't deal me the best of cards but unlike poker fanatics who know how to turn a sh*tty hand into something worthy, I'm slowly slipping away - eroding into the long continuous depths of space and I honestly don't know what to do anymore. You win.

you just feel like a fucking long hike or a big sigh or a marathon

except u never get the relief of resting big breaths or stopping.

maybe at some point ill give in or maybe not, who knows. sometimes its so overwhelming but no one understands my struggles even i dont. i wish i knew why i get these sudden sad waves i wish i knew why i did what i did but i dont. and thats what pains me the most. im hurting myself too by going through this you arent the only ones. lol

when i was 7 yrs old i used to pray every single night to god that he would fulfill my wish. I wanted to die .

i just wanna be smart enough. loved enough. i tried everything to make me happier. but i keep hurting myself. i’m a disappointment for everyone i know. i know i’m not the most important person alive but i wish i could be the number one to someone. not the third or the second, the first. be the reason of someone. i wish i could be enough. if this is life then why do i keep fighting? i know what i want and who i want in my life, but i don’t think i can have them. yesterday, i prayed to never woke up, but i did. today was okay, but what if tomorrow is the same as yesterday? i don’t want to live like that but i feel like it’s the best life can give me. i just want people to look at me and see what i wish they saw. i’m trying everyday, i really am but i don’t think life wants me to succeed, and I can’t change that.

we are so limited. everything is limited. everything ends. nothing lasts. dont make the mistake i made. never give in to a burden that you could easily brush away, because would you be content with your life then?

i'm really tired of life, i need someone to notice i'm not okay, please someone it's like i'm drowning and no one cares, even when i tell people they just say same. everyone is the same they all want something and leave in the end :/. i don't want to die i just don't want to be here at this moment, to who ever is reading this it does get worse but then it gets better i promise it may take a while for you to become happy with your life but one day you will be. it's going to be okay, even when no one is there for you you gotta be there for your self and it hurts a lot seeing other people be happy and maybe you had that once, i just want everyone to know that you have to love yourself because no one else will and that's okay, people suck, even the ones that made you, be your own yellow. that's all, i hope i can come back to this and be happy with my life and who i am surrounded by. :/ love you
-...

Cazzo la vita fa schifo. Il giorno prima vuoi spaccare il mondo e il giorno dopo non hai neanche le forze di mangiare

i would have zero 0000000000000000000000000000commitment issues if someone would fucking commit to me, unfortunately ive never xperienced that emotion

who I want doesnt want me back. but who wants me doesnt really want me if they can get over me in a week.