Unsent messages to LAUREL

I still think about you everyday, but the whiteboard has been erased, I am so sorry laurel

you truly are the love of my life, i don't know what i would do without you. i love you forever.

in my mind we’re six feet apart at the drive in and i’m eating a block of cheese. ily romantically

it was all messed up back then. i'm better for you now. please talk to me again

I wish you’d reach out, I still haven’t been able to get over you

You promised you wouldn’t leave me. I thought you understood.

Laurel, my love. I think it's time I let you go.

I’m sorry I couldn’t be the person you deserved. You hurt me, and that’s ok, time passed.

I lose sleep at night wondering what's become of you. Please just be alive. I'm sorry.

behind all my anger, there’s happiness that you’re happy. it’s all i ever wanted for you.

you were my favorite person for a long time, but i'm glad i moved on

every fiber in my body yearns for you back, i don’t know what to do anymore

For our paths to intertwine again. I'll wait for however moons to be by your side again.

I think we would be friends in every universe

you’re the most amazing person, i’m so proud of you and i’m glad you’re my best friend.

something about you has always drawn me in. I know we we will never be more than friends. And honestly i like it that way. But sometimes i wish i could kiss you, and if you ever asked me, id tell you just that.

Why do I still think about you?? There’s not a day that goes by that you don’t cross my mind at least once. I miss you.

Hi. I'm back again. You looked cute tonight. We both still have feelings for eachother and it sucks. I wish we could be more than this, but I'm so scared of hurting you I know it won't happen. I wish it wasn't like this. I wish I wasn't like this-- for your sake and my own.

I can't stop thinking about you. I hate that I still have feelings for you when I was the one who said this wouldn't work. It sucks. I know it was the right decision, but it still sucks so much. And I can't say anything-- I don't want to hurt you, or confuse you. I know I already did. I still look forward to seeing you and hearing your voice, even though it's just over Facetime. I wish I could talk to you, but I don't even know where I would start. Would it even change anything?

You said you wanted to be seen as the color blue, so here you go, I guess. I'm sorry I made everything so confusing. I miss you-- even when we talk it doesn't feel the same as before and it sucks. But it shouldn't hurt because I'm the one who said it was too complicated. And I know that was the right decision. I was trying not to hurt you and ending up hurting both of us in the process. Unless you're not even hurt. Sometimes it's hard to tell. It sucks to be just friends with you but I know that's how it has to be. I said that's how it has to be. But I miss making you smile.

i don’t like you in that way and i feel shitty for leading you on. you deserve better than that and i’m sorry

I'm sorry I abandoned you. I regretted it in the moment and now that I'm back, I still regret the weeks I choose not to spend with you

I'm confused about how I feel about you. I know I look forward to talking to you and I think I like you but at the same time I have this fear that maybe I just like the attention or something. I don't know. It's hella confusing but my friends said I need to just give it a shot or I'll never know, but I know it's not that simple. I don't know how I feel and it sucks so much and I don't want to hurt you.

So, I think I like you. Maybe it's your confidence or the fact that you're always fucking flirting with me, but yeah. I'm sort of confused about how I feel, but you know already that I'm always confused. And that I fall way too fast and way too easily. It's weird because a week ago we weren't even close friends.So what does that mean? Do I like you, or the idea that you could like me? I'll be honest-- I've thought about what it would be like to kiss you and I'm not mad about it. So what does that mean? I don't fucking know. Ok I'm cringing at all this now, so that's all I guess.

It took me forever to stop loving you.. and it feels weird to admit that I don’t anymore. I remember when I knew I loved you because when we were first hanging out and talking and stuff I would ask myself if I loved you and I could feel that I didn’t. And then one day when I asked myself the same question, I could feel that I did. It wasn’t a list that I could check off, it was a feeling.

Well if u weren’t in love with me then why did u say all those things... u really played with my feelings and fucked me up big time and I don’t think you know that

i know we never dated but i will always love you and i miss our friendship more than you will ever know

How do you still have this much of a hold on me?? Makes me think the universe knows something I don’t.

You're doing the best you can. Take it one day at a time and keep being the you that you love. I love you.