Unsent messages to KAT

I appreciate the conversations we have.

you're starting to feel like home

I hate the way you make me feel but I still love you

i hope in another time, we'll have a chance

i want 2 put gf application, but i’m scared and ur probably over me by now. and i’m scared to break ur heart again. i hurt u so bad and just bc we’re young we won’t be together forever yknow, and it hurts me when ur hurt. i really wanna kiss u, just by the way. if this finds u, which i’m sure it won’t, it’s from ur sunshine, if that means anything anymore

You are someone who changed my life, and I will never ever be able to forget you. An unrequited love, one that stayed quiet, you showed me friendship is sometimes the only option and that’s okay. The things I’ve done I did because of an ugly love, one that was hard and new and impossible, but always felt like it was just a step in front of me. If I could change the way I had treated you then I would..it’s hard to see the person you love go in an unhealthy way and I wish I did things differently. I will always remember our adventures, stupid and loud, I will always remember how we could sit for hours in a dark room and talk. There were some things that helped, but I could never get bored of hearing your thoughts and learning more about you. We’ve done so much together, and as time goes on I know I will always keep some of that love for you. You were my first, after all

You are someone I will always remember, never forget. An unrequited love, that showed me friendship is sometimes the best a person could

youve moved on so its time for me to as well. thank you for taking my life from lonely and sad to bearable. you gave me the jumpstart i needed and i am forever thankful

I told myself I was over you, and I thought it was true for a while. all you had to say to pull me back in was "I was thinking about you". I promised her I was as over you as ill ever be. I never lied when I said that, I just didn't know you'd pull me back so easily.
p.s.: it wasn't the hazelnut coffee creamer that I was allergic to, but you promised you'd remember and I just wanted you to remember something about me.

I wish I could tell you the full truth. I love every bit of you. I wish we were still talking. I miss you.

We are still friends but watching you be with someone else and be much happier is breaking me but I still say I'm fine

i don't know why you just decided to stop talking to me. maybe you hate me? i find that quite hard to believe when we've been friends for literally 13 years. Maybe you found better friends? that would make much more sense i suppose. hopefully we can be friends again in the future. But right now, if im being quite honest, i fucking hate you.

I fucking miss you so much. I’m physically nauseous at the thought of never being close to you again. I can’t stop thinking about you I absolutely love you. You make me feel so safe and at home. You helped me feel hopeful and happy again. Even though we aren’t talking and the pain from that is unbearable.... I don’t regret meeting you.

Hi kit kat,
I usually come on here to rant about my feelings on the one guy I can't shake off (we both know who). But today I decided to write you a message because you're my best friend and my sister. I love you so much. Thank you for being there for me always. I don't know what I would do without you. Can't believe we've been friends for over a decade haha can't wait to see where life takes us

I imagined a life with you, and you can’t stop overthinking the future. I can settle for having you in the now. At least I keep your eyes in my life.

Im so happy ive gotten to have you in my life. You are the only person who has ever made me feel so cared for i appreciate you so much more thank yk

why tf do you find it ok to pretend. u haven’t been around me for 7+ months and I find out your hanging out with someone you said you hated. you always blow me off and I’m tired and I’m pathetic for thinking you care.

should we just search romantic comedies on netflix and see what we find? that song makes me think of you. anyway love you kitty

i love you but you need to stop getting so upset when someone can’t share their emotions with you, you aren’t a psychiatrist, and sometimes we are still dealing with things ourself that we aren’t ready to share, don’t take it so personal. things aren’t always ready to be talked about

Sadly, I've done and gave everything that I could, you're with someone else now, I can't be your friend like you want me to, it hurts too much, I have to let you go.

baby id rather lay down in the rain with you for hours than find out you went through a thunderstorm alone

thank you for caring so much and for being there. i don't know where i would be without you. just like thank you so fucking much. i duv jou :)

I just seriously cannot believe you left me like that. You hurt me so bad for no reason, and you never said you were sorry. please tell me why you did it

hey katrina. please remember that i will always care about you. we are in this together. don’t give up. i love you

also, i think if the time was right we would have worked out . we were 12 what the fuck did we know back then. i’m just happy we can at least be friends becaus all the months we didn’t talk i felt fucking terrible

thank you for always being there for me, i love you, i miss you. i'm sorry to have disappointed you, and i’m sorry for everything. goodbye.

I told you I wish I had kissed you on the ferris wheel, but now I can look at sunsets without thinking of you

do you remember the day you held me in the locker room while I cried? it was the most comfortable I ever felt. you asked for my hand and tangled yours with mine, you said it was a perfect fit. and it was, it was perfect. I knew from that moment on that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. you're absolutely perfect. you're like a dream come true. you're the only reason I don't want to wake up from this horrible nightmare.

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I heard a whisper in the wind pleading "let me in" and the night was cold. Letting you in was the best decision I've ever made. I shivered by your side, slightly warmer by your presence, until the sun arrived. you were on your own, though so was I, so I offered you my day, promising to keep you safe from the dangers of the world. I was a little surprised when you accepted, despite the fact you hinted toward a longer stay. but I don't mind. there's always a shelter within these walls, one I'll give for free. outside the nights are cold and filled with creatures, and the days grow shorter with every passing hour. inside these walls there's no concept of time, only a broken kitchen clock who's hands don't dance along with us but sings a little song. we came to an agreement, not to fight the night at all, but to befriend it side by side. I'd never seen someone so strong before I had met you. one day I left to slay the demons who refused a deal at all. I came back with tattered clothes and cuts on my arms. you held me until the wounds were healed, a perfect duo, so I thought. it was that day when the broken clock began to dance with us again, the first I've ever seen. days went by and when I woke, you said you had to leave. i understood and waved goodbye, thinking you'd be back. I sat by the fire, the one that sheltered us that first night, and waited for your return. eventually I had to leave, more demons to slay. but this time when I came back you weren't there. the clock no longer danced, it only sang a somber tune, a new cruel melody. I pushed myself past my limits and tried again to befriend the night. but the night alone is a dangerous place and I couldn't survive. when you did return you were bruised and broken, now colder than the night. I was too weak to heal your wounds, and you too weak for mine. so laying side by side, together but alone, our hearts have out. like romeo and juliet we believed it was forever. it could have been if things were different, we stood a fighting chance. but no one can fight the the night alone and say that they survived. it was that day the clock stopped singing and never danced again, frozen in time, just like us.

But the story isn't over, there's so much more to tell. Because the love never died and negative feelings always pass. The clock is slowly learning to sing and dance again

hi kat. i love you the most my soul sister. i hope you find this one day--even if we lose contact over the years
much love,
grace

im sorry.i am , but im too broken for this.my mind is weird and boggled.i cant love you , and i dont.maybe ur in love w the idea of me only goodbye

you give so much you deserve only good things I love you so much and believe and trust you with my whole heart. You’re the most caring and selfless person I’ve ever had the honor to be friends with

i just want to be able to hear your voice. want to be able to drift off to sleep with you talking to me. reassurance. grounding. tell me about your dreams. say you love me. i don't care. i just want to hear you voice

I thought i was okay, till I saw a notification that had your name and now I'm back to square one all over again.

i miss you, isn't it crazy that i still think about you after all these months? i sometimes think about how it would be like if that day never happened. sometimes i still listen to the songs you said reminded you of me and it hurts even more.

i wish i hadn't had waited so long to come up to the park. i wish i could have spent every minute possible with you. i love you. and i miss you so much. and all i can do is hope you'll be in my future. i love you pumpkin

i love you. i know that only looks like three words but in my head its an explosion of different colors. reds and purples and blues and greens and yellows all spraying everywhere all at once and the little droplets flying by in slow motion. everything you are and what you say and do and wear and draw and hum (oh god your humming makes me weak at the knees) it all draws me in closer to that spray of color that those three words are. i cant describe it. there's a dark background almost like empty space but there's zero noise. and then the words are there but they're little flecks of brightness everywhere and there's no dark left in sight its all just bright and good and warm and sparkly its like you're stuck in the spray of a lukewarm rainbow champagne bottle being opened. (i know lukewarm champagne sounds kind of gross but pretend that it isn't icky) the confetti looking droplets are everywhere they're all around 360 degrees and for juuust a second it feels like the big scary world is gone and ur just surrounded by nothing but love. fucking pure and untainted love. SJSHDJKGH this is so gross and cheesy but that writing piece i did got me out of writers block so here u go.

i fffucking love you so much i know i just saw you a couple minutes ago but i really love u n my text isn't sending cuz u dont have a sim card (u idiot) n i hope you're safe i love you i love you i love you